Today I had a dentist appointment and I brought Liam in tow because his preschool doesn't start until next week. He spent most of the time spinning in the doctor's chair, figuring out how the examination chair works and brushing the teeth on a stuffed alligator (or crocodile, my memory doesn't serve me well here, which is the one with the broad snout, not the pointed snout?). The hygienist was very nice and there was the usual commentary about how big Liam had gotten and about how I only floss when I eat popcorn (don't worry, I love popcorn). Now usually I like to go to the dentist's office by myself. I find the quiet moments in the examining chair almost hypnotic in nature. I'm too poor and cheap for a massage so really this is my spa-time. I just close my eyes and forget about the fact that plaque is being chipped away at my teeth and that I will soon have to endure that awful gritty polish gunk on that tickling, spinning brush. Today as I closed my eyes and drifted off into mommy-is-at-the-spa-don't-call-me mode, I opened my eyes only to see Liam's face no more than 2 inches away from mine, watching as the hygienist worked her magic with her nasty hook tool. Soon enough, Liam was holding the once-sterile mirror up in my mouth to check out mommy's teeth. And it wasn't long before he was looking up my nose either (okay, I might have encouraged that one).
Is there ever really any mommy time? Or for that matter, any daddy time? It's taken Bill well over a month just to get a tee time with his dad and brothers and still the only one they can all kind of agree on is close to dawn on a Sunday morning!
Is no time sacred anymore? When was the last time I wasn't woken up by a scrawny naked string bean shouting "It's time to wake up!" in my face (again, no more than 2 inches away). In fact, the other morning I was seriously rudely awoken by a Pull-Up being smooshed into my face! In utter sleepy disgust I half murmured half yelled "Get that thing out of my face!" To which Liam replied in a completely rationale tone, "But it's dry! I had a dry Pull-Up!" Should I really have to explain why still it's an unpleasant wake-up call in the morning to have an albeit dry Pull-Up stuffed in ones' face? I mean, I know when his last bath was and it wasn't too recent...
So maybe the shower? Maybe that's a mommy or daddy sacred time? I think not. No matter how many cartoons I put on TV or toys I put in Joshua's crib, there's always a rude interruption. Maybe it's Liam coming in to shout, "Mommy! There's a Zhu Zhu Pet Goodmercial on TV" or "I can't find the Goodmote!" (noticing a cute speech impediment here?) and then leaving the door ajar so that the fire alarm will go off in approximately 80 seconds (how's that for a deadline to shower time). Or maybe Bill will be watching Joshua and Josh will wander aimlessly into the bathroom only to start playing peek-a-boo behind the curtain. I can't tell how many times he has actually tried to climb into the shower with me, clothes in all but luckily his cute little legs are too short.
Clearly being a mother or father means that we are not entitled to actual time to ourselves. We knowingly went into this whole parenting thing but did we really know that it would mean going to the bathroom with a crying child on the bathmat in front of us? How could I imagine that while changing at the community center in the changing room, I wouldn't even be given a decent amount of privacy (did I mention that Josh loves to play peekaboo with curtains)?
Of course, I suppose that children could not possibly understand the concept of privacy. Poor Joshua has flashed his behind in the process of diaper changes in more public places than I count. And Liam has been brought to many a public restroom with us as well. And maybe this is all for the best here- that Liam is curious about oral hygiene and that Joshua is learning not to be shy of showering. Someday I will have shower time to myself again and someday I will be able to pick out my clothes for the day without rushing to cover up. Someday I'll be awoken by a calm breeze from our open window. But tomorrow morning I would just settle for being awoken by clothed kid or a cute giggle coming from the baby monitor.
No comments:
Post a Comment