Was a Stress Bug

     Before I had kids, I was a teacher first.  Above all else, I taught and therefore I was "a teacher".  If asked, I didn't say "a girlfriend/wife", "a friend", "a daughter", "a sister" or even "a reader" or "a writer".  I woke up in the morning happy to teach my kids (okay, that's a complete exaggeration, I've never been a morning person).  I often stayed at work well past 3:15 dismissal until 5:30 or 6:00.  I would go home and help cook dinner, watch Wheel of Fortune (while grading papers) and chat with my husband (while grading papers).  Most nights I stayed up until about 10:00 grading papers, planning or making materials.  I took my job so personally that if someone in a social situation dared to suggest that a teacher had the summers off and was done with work at 3:15 my boyfriend (now husband) would try to defend the job before I would blow my lid.  Eventually, he learned just to run away before hearing the same onslaught of stress and work listed to our misinformed "friend".  On Friday nights we would go out to our favorite bar for trivia and wings where my trivia name was "STRSBG". This stood for "Stress Bug".  Great name for a 22 year old at a bar, right?
     These years as a stressed out new-bee teacher certainly served me well.  I use a lot of the materials I created back in the day.  I rely on my core philosophies established over the years.  But when I had kids, my whole teacherly-life was shattered.  I mean, I still devote myself to the students and our work in the classroom but... I'm no longer a teacher first.  When Liam was born my whole life shifted.  Without a doubt, I was now "a mom" first.  But it wasn't just that.  Suddenly, because of the partnership we had established with parenthood, I was really "a wife" more than ever.  And somehow this made me feel all the more human.  I was no longer defined by my job.  I was defined by my family.  Of course, "a teacher" still made the short list in defining me as a human but somehow it was reassuring to know it wasn't on the top 3 anymore.
     And so as we start the next school year, this is my challenge. To keep up all of these things that make me human- like taking my kids out a little past their bedtime to get ice cream (oops) and like playing with Legos instead of grading papers, planning or making materials at the kitchen table.  So maybe building a tower only to have it knocked over isn't the most productive endeavor.  But really, hearing Joshua laugh at his destruction... that just makes my day.