Nothing quite explains the rush of a good coupon book arriving in the mail. I'll admit I have little use for regular coupons. Grocery store & manufacturer's coupons are too hard to clip and they're always expiring anyway. But a good coupon book? Well, that's a different story altogether. I know my love of coupons is totally contagious because Bill now eagerly awaits the monthly issue of our wholesale club too. It's like we're waiting on pins and needles for those diaper coupons (no, really).
Are we the only ones who strategically time our trips to the local wholesale club according to the "trifecta" of coupons (Trifecta of coupons: defined as the narrow period of time when some of your coupons from the old book are still valid, the seasonal book is still valid and the next month's coupon book arrives a couple of days early)? Within our circle of friends, quite possibly, but in the whole world of couponing, we seem to be small change. I don't even have one of those coupon binders or expandable files. No, I just have our coupon book, neatly stapled together on magazine paper, with perforated coupon edges. Apparently there's a whole breed of coupon crazies our there who get their groceries for free and who end up storing oatmeal, barbecue sauce and mouthwash under their children's bunk beds. We're not quite that bad but we do like a good coupon here and there and the more coupons you can use on a trip, the better- that is, up until a certain point. See, the reason why we don't do well with the manufacturer's coupons is because we don't manage little strips of paper very well. I can't keep track of the dressing coupon that's about to expire and which brand of potato chips we have the coupon for. I've also been known to lose coupons... without fail. One time just before the holidays I clipped a wad of coupons before going into the wholesale club and stuffed them in my pocket. I ended up leaving a trail of coupons throughout the store. Did I go back through the entire warehouse combing the aisles for toilet paper and cereal coupons? Yes, yes I did.
How far we have come. We used to use a coupon here and there for buy one get one meals at a nice restaurant or (who am I kidding) for mini golf dates. Now we savor good diaper coupons and call our friends when we find a good one. We can't wait for the next wipes coupon and we just love a good coupon for batteries. Our spare change used to spent on CD's and a beer with wings, now it's spent on apple juice and baby socks. It's somewhat of a consolation when we can at least save $1 on each.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Worst Best Mom Revisited
This week I formally put my application in for super mom status... and then decisively withdrew the application. Clearly, I've got potential to be on that "Best Mom" status list, if there truly is a list out there of best moms. This week I took my kids to two museums AND a story hour, plus two pool play dates. But by the end of the week all I could muster was a 10 minute trip to a playground followed by a long car ride in the air conditioning.
This week brought out the teacher in me. I feel perpetual guilt at not constantly imparting knowledge via direct instruction to my children. Most times I reassure myself with ideas about contextual, or hands-on, everyday experiences but this week I decided to put my teaching degree and those magnetic letters to good use. I took the letters off the fridge that were being used as actual magnets, gathered up the ones the boys had scattered under the stove and rug and found a couple of brownie pans. I showed Liam the word "at" and then we practiced word families, reading words like Cat, Fat, Pat, Mat and Rat. I threw in some nonsense words like Zat and Gat just to be silly. I seized a teachable moment to talk about syllables, which Liam took to immediately (not to brag, but he figured out that Joshua was three syllables, let's not quibble over the fact that the syllables he clapped out were "Jo- shu- wa"). Later in the week we reviewed "at" words and moved on to "it" words. It was fabulous. And then afterwards the kids took all of the letters and scattered them all around the room for me to pick up. Terrific.
This week we started to redirect our children's behavior. I wanted them to be more helpful but, as I mentioned in a previous blog, I felt that Liam was being too rewards-driven. So we formalized the whole deal by making a chore chart and agreeing on a hefty allowance ($1). Crazy as it is, it actually worked (this week). Liam watered plants and seem to take it as a given (with 4 or 5 reminders) that he was responsible for the silverware drawer. So what if my spoons are all muddled together regardless of size! I can handle it! Even Joshua is in on the fun (for 50 cents a week), drying the dishes. Hmmm... now that the week is over though... I should probably actually write down the chores we all agreed to and make a chart. I'm not sure how long I'll remember this whole $1 a week thing and not to be down on Liam, but he's kind of a flake with money.
This week we tackled potty training. Yes folks, we did it. Well, actually I did it and then it seems to be unraveling already. Before this week, Joshua was very hesitant to use his potty but we did get him sitting on it more often. Over the past two weeks, he's earned 16 stickers and that's just for home potty-use. He actually seems to prefer the thrill of going on other people's potties. I think it's the anticipation of feeling like he's going to fall into someone else's toilet. So that leads us to the regression, while I must have been doing something right (I feel like I actually earned those 16 stickers), clearly I was also doing something wrong because the last two days Joshua has been defiantly pooping in that diaper again. Dag nab it! I know the right way to handle it... but I ignored my instincts and slipped into guilt trips like: "No motorcycle stickers for pooping in your diaper" and "Big boys use the potty, look at Liam using the potty!" Oops. Apparently Joshua isn't the only one who regressed this week.
This week we did scientific experiments. Seriously, Liam was so excited about making a bouncy ball that when we bought the Borax at the grocery store, he was giddy with excitement. The experiment failed but it was just a good lesson on trial and error. We also did experiments with lava lamps (kind of a waste of a lot of oil, next time I'll use a smaller container) and oobleck (cornstarch + water = fun times and a messy carpet). Of course, the teacher in me couldn't help but hound Liam with questions like, "Is it a solid or a liquid?" and "What do you observe?". He ignored both questions completely.
This week I made goldfish out of carrots, an octopus out of noodles & cheese and clams out of sugar snap peas. But by the end of the week I was so hot and so exhausted that it was all I could do to make the kids a bowl of Mac & Cheese and shout, "IT'S NOT HOT! EAT IT!"
It takes a lot to be a Best Mom. I'm not sure anyone was meant to be a Best Mom for good. If there was someone taking notes, he/she would note all of my lapses. But now that I think about it, the only person who really takes all those notes, I"m afraid, is me. I notice every mis-step along they way, every shriek, every poor choice of words, every little thing that could disqualify me for super mom status. I even used that old word "annoying" again this week. So what if I'm not the best mom out there anyway. Would the best mom do something as stupid as giving one kid a plastic baseball bat and the other a plastic golf club and then tell the kids to start hitting the water in their kiddle pool to see who could make the biggest splash? No, probably not. So it's worth it sliding down in status and, for now, I'll settle with being the Worst Best Mom.
This week brought out the teacher in me. I feel perpetual guilt at not constantly imparting knowledge via direct instruction to my children. Most times I reassure myself with ideas about contextual, or hands-on, everyday experiences but this week I decided to put my teaching degree and those magnetic letters to good use. I took the letters off the fridge that were being used as actual magnets, gathered up the ones the boys had scattered under the stove and rug and found a couple of brownie pans. I showed Liam the word "at" and then we practiced word families, reading words like Cat, Fat, Pat, Mat and Rat. I threw in some nonsense words like Zat and Gat just to be silly. I seized a teachable moment to talk about syllables, which Liam took to immediately (not to brag, but he figured out that Joshua was three syllables, let's not quibble over the fact that the syllables he clapped out were "Jo- shu- wa"). Later in the week we reviewed "at" words and moved on to "it" words. It was fabulous. And then afterwards the kids took all of the letters and scattered them all around the room for me to pick up. Terrific.
This week we started to redirect our children's behavior. I wanted them to be more helpful but, as I mentioned in a previous blog, I felt that Liam was being too rewards-driven. So we formalized the whole deal by making a chore chart and agreeing on a hefty allowance ($1). Crazy as it is, it actually worked (this week). Liam watered plants and seem to take it as a given (with 4 or 5 reminders) that he was responsible for the silverware drawer. So what if my spoons are all muddled together regardless of size! I can handle it! Even Joshua is in on the fun (for 50 cents a week), drying the dishes. Hmmm... now that the week is over though... I should probably actually write down the chores we all agreed to and make a chart. I'm not sure how long I'll remember this whole $1 a week thing and not to be down on Liam, but he's kind of a flake with money.
This week we tackled potty training. Yes folks, we did it. Well, actually I did it and then it seems to be unraveling already. Before this week, Joshua was very hesitant to use his potty but we did get him sitting on it more often. Over the past two weeks, he's earned 16 stickers and that's just for home potty-use. He actually seems to prefer the thrill of going on other people's potties. I think it's the anticipation of feeling like he's going to fall into someone else's toilet. So that leads us to the regression, while I must have been doing something right (I feel like I actually earned those 16 stickers), clearly I was also doing something wrong because the last two days Joshua has been defiantly pooping in that diaper again. Dag nab it! I know the right way to handle it... but I ignored my instincts and slipped into guilt trips like: "No motorcycle stickers for pooping in your diaper" and "Big boys use the potty, look at Liam using the potty!" Oops. Apparently Joshua isn't the only one who regressed this week.
This week we did scientific experiments. Seriously, Liam was so excited about making a bouncy ball that when we bought the Borax at the grocery store, he was giddy with excitement. The experiment failed but it was just a good lesson on trial and error. We also did experiments with lava lamps (kind of a waste of a lot of oil, next time I'll use a smaller container) and oobleck (cornstarch + water = fun times and a messy carpet). Of course, the teacher in me couldn't help but hound Liam with questions like, "Is it a solid or a liquid?" and "What do you observe?". He ignored both questions completely.
This week I made goldfish out of carrots, an octopus out of noodles & cheese and clams out of sugar snap peas. But by the end of the week I was so hot and so exhausted that it was all I could do to make the kids a bowl of Mac & Cheese and shout, "IT'S NOT HOT! EAT IT!"
It takes a lot to be a Best Mom. I'm not sure anyone was meant to be a Best Mom for good. If there was someone taking notes, he/she would note all of my lapses. But now that I think about it, the only person who really takes all those notes, I"m afraid, is me. I notice every mis-step along they way, every shriek, every poor choice of words, every little thing that could disqualify me for super mom status. I even used that old word "annoying" again this week. So what if I'm not the best mom out there anyway. Would the best mom do something as stupid as giving one kid a plastic baseball bat and the other a plastic golf club and then tell the kids to start hitting the water in their kiddle pool to see who could make the biggest splash? No, probably not. So it's worth it sliding down in status and, for now, I'll settle with being the Worst Best Mom.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Kitties and Kids
This weekend we stopped by my Father-In-Law's house. He has two kitties, Cheddar and Figaro. They live in the (finished) basement while company is over. I grew up with cats so I like to visit Cheddar and Figaro whenever I get a chance. This time I had to cut my visits short though. It started fine, I walked downstairs and the kitties perked their heads around the corner to say hello. They pressed their furry heads into my hand to get more pets and pats and scratches. I walked away and they followed me so I pet them some more. And then Figaro hissed at me. Really hissed. So I left the basement.
I don't have a cat now but I do have a Joshua and a Liam. I think I learned a lot about kids by being owned by a cat. Growing up with cats, I know that Figaro isn't really a bad kitty or very different from any of the cats I ever had. See, cats are very particular about their humans and I'm just not Figaro's human. Joshua is like Figaro, he likes to look cute for just about anyone who smiles at him. He bats his eyelashes at grown ups in grocery stores and goes out of his way to look cute whenever it's convenient for him. But if a grown up who is not his human tries to pick him up, he'll throw a big fit that isn't at all cute. And here's the thing with Joshua, he's fairly fickle so you may be his human one day, but not the next (we call this the "Mommy Crush" and the "Daddy Crush"). Liam is a bit more like Cheddar, he's friendly to everyone, follows you around like a stick of glue and, while he doesn't exactly arch his back up to get scratched just below his tail, he does like to wrap every inch of his string bean legs and arms around you for a big hug.
Cats like to be where you are. And so if you are reading a book, they want to position themselves directly between you and the pages of that book. If you are playing a board game on the coffee table or, god-forbid, the floor, they will want to sit directly on top of that board game. I've found that my children are fairly similar. Their favorite toy is the one that the other brother is playing with. When Liam and I play Candy Land, Joshua has been known to come over and sit on our game board. This ever-presence s the real reason why- despite the fact that it is summer vacation, I haven't yet opened the sequel to The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.
Cats demand your attention at a moment's notice but give you less than a moment's notice when they're ready to be independent. They expect immediate withdrawl five seconds before they told you to stop petting them. How many kitties have I known to purr graciously at me and then spaz out with their claws batting me away? Liam and Joshua are a little bit like that. They can come up to me for a hug but can I go asking for it? Probably not. Joshua will come up to me and lay his head on my lap but can I go asking for a kiss? Nope.
The most fun thing about having a kitty or a kid is their curiosity. Bouncy balls never get old. We can't keep household string in our everything drawer because Liam has been known to unwind and entangle with any string left in the house. There's nothing quite so exciting to a kitty or a kid as a person coming to the door. Their faces light up when you walk in the door, they shout out your name (or meow) and immediately start acting irresistibly cute.
Yes, cats can be stinky and so can children. Cats can scratch up your furniture with their claws and kids can (and probably will) scratch your new dining room table with a fork. Cats can hiss at your friends and kids will throw temper tantrums during your dinner parties. Cats can hiss at your guests and kids will refuse to smile for pictures. Cats and children both leave their toys strewn around the room. Cats and children both expect the world to revolve around them, on their schedules and according to their whims. But when they cuddle up close to you on the couch and look up at you with affection and love, they do just make you melt, don't they?
I don't have a cat now but I do have a Joshua and a Liam. I think I learned a lot about kids by being owned by a cat. Growing up with cats, I know that Figaro isn't really a bad kitty or very different from any of the cats I ever had. See, cats are very particular about their humans and I'm just not Figaro's human. Joshua is like Figaro, he likes to look cute for just about anyone who smiles at him. He bats his eyelashes at grown ups in grocery stores and goes out of his way to look cute whenever it's convenient for him. But if a grown up who is not his human tries to pick him up, he'll throw a big fit that isn't at all cute. And here's the thing with Joshua, he's fairly fickle so you may be his human one day, but not the next (we call this the "Mommy Crush" and the "Daddy Crush"). Liam is a bit more like Cheddar, he's friendly to everyone, follows you around like a stick of glue and, while he doesn't exactly arch his back up to get scratched just below his tail, he does like to wrap every inch of his string bean legs and arms around you for a big hug.
Cats like to be where you are. And so if you are reading a book, they want to position themselves directly between you and the pages of that book. If you are playing a board game on the coffee table or, god-forbid, the floor, they will want to sit directly on top of that board game. I've found that my children are fairly similar. Their favorite toy is the one that the other brother is playing with. When Liam and I play Candy Land, Joshua has been known to come over and sit on our game board. This ever-presence s the real reason why- despite the fact that it is summer vacation, I haven't yet opened the sequel to The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.
Cats demand your attention at a moment's notice but give you less than a moment's notice when they're ready to be independent. They expect immediate withdrawl five seconds before they told you to stop petting them. How many kitties have I known to purr graciously at me and then spaz out with their claws batting me away? Liam and Joshua are a little bit like that. They can come up to me for a hug but can I go asking for it? Probably not. Joshua will come up to me and lay his head on my lap but can I go asking for a kiss? Nope.
The most fun thing about having a kitty or a kid is their curiosity. Bouncy balls never get old. We can't keep household string in our everything drawer because Liam has been known to unwind and entangle with any string left in the house. There's nothing quite so exciting to a kitty or a kid as a person coming to the door. Their faces light up when you walk in the door, they shout out your name (or meow) and immediately start acting irresistibly cute.
Yes, cats can be stinky and so can children. Cats can scratch up your furniture with their claws and kids can (and probably will) scratch your new dining room table with a fork. Cats can hiss at your friends and kids will throw temper tantrums during your dinner parties. Cats can hiss at your guests and kids will refuse to smile for pictures. Cats and children both leave their toys strewn around the room. Cats and children both expect the world to revolve around them, on their schedules and according to their whims. But when they cuddle up close to you on the couch and look up at you with affection and love, they do just make you melt, don't they?
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
The Trouble With Tokens
I once worked at a daycare center that moved kids clothespins up a notch every day. If they were bad, they got moved back a notch. Once they moved enough notches, they would earn a fake $ to buy a prize. The result was a lot of threats: "Edward, I'm going to move you back a notch if you don't take turns on the slide..." It was even worse when Edward had already been moved back a notch (after numerous threats) and he looked at you expectantly, "Now what?"
After a little bit of education on my part in classroom management classes and educational psychology, it became clear that this system of discipline fell under the category of "token economy". It's a token economy because the child expects the reward, or "token", to be dolled out every day. The tokens can then be taken back, even though they were never really earned (unless you consider not being bad "earning"). So besides being a pain in the neck (having to remember who I idly threatened vs. who actually needed to have their clothespin moved back), it also became clear to me that this was no way to discipline kids.
From the educational psychology point of view, this is all well and good. In my classroom I rely mostly on natural consequences. Other consequences like writing a sentence 100x just don't seem to cut it when preparing kids for the real world. Instead I have them write a letter to the friend they offended, or clean the desk they drew on or stop playing with the toy they threw across the gym during indoor recess. That's not to say I haven't also relied on incentives- like marbles that add up to pajama day (flannel and slippers all day at work? Whose the real winner here?). I've even brought in candy corn to toss at them when they answer questions (just like a zookeeper tosses fish at seals who jump through hoops in a pool)!
Now I'm a parent and let's be honest: Vygotsky, Piaget, Freud... really? Maybe that works in a classroom and maybe it works in a textbook. My guess is that while Piaget was carefully observing his children's behavior and stages of development, his wife was giving candy to keep them quiet while guests were over. My favorite book as a college student was called "Punished By Rewards The trouble with gold stars, incentive plans, A's, praise and other bribes" by Alfie Kohn. Great book, I consider it often.
I'm a parent now and my favorite book that I don't have time to read is "I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids: Reinventing Motherhood" by Trisha Ashworth. No really, I haven't read it so I can't attest to how good it is, but you've got to love the title (and it got what appears to be 4 1/4 stars on Amazon.com).
So now what? Am I all about breaking the rules of classroom management and educational psychology? Well first of all, no. I'm not parenting in a classroom but rather the wide world, there's more to parenting than managing children for a short period of time and psychology is more individual anyway. See, Liam doesn't respond well to incentives so of course I'm not going to over-use them. But they do work in the short term. If there's a really bad habit from nose picking to talking loudly, these things can be curbed by a simple piece of candy at the end of a day without boogery fingers or without busting an ear drum. I'm not exactly sure how I would be potty-training Joshua right now if it wasn't for incentives, but let's not go overboard, he's just getting a car sticker to put on a racetrack (and a potty dance, lots of clapping and smiles). Hey, whatever it takes to get something started (or ended), right?
What about money? Here's the big issue. I've previously *bragged* that my boys help me with chores. Have you noticed I haven't brought it up lately? That's because they're no longer helpful and I do think I know why. See, they were being helpful and I was so appreciative I started to give them some change from our change jar. Random amounts, nothing specific. They seemed super excited and eager to help... until one day they just weren't. They didn't want to help. They didn't want the $. Maybe they figured out that 18 pennies isn't such great pay or maybe the money just sucked the fun out of the game of helping mommy. Whatever the reason, I think my sister-in-law was right with her chore chart & separate allowances. She did warn me, I'm just a bad listener.
What's the conclusion then? What about rewards? What about punishments? Once something is given, I really don't like the idea of taking it away, unless it's a Nerf dart gun that was shot at someone's head. I like the concept of "intermittent reinforcement" which means giving reinforcements but being somewhat unpredictable about it. And let's not go overboard here, how about an old fashioned sticker or dish of ice cream from your own freezer. My poor kids, I doubt they'll ever earn big bucks for getting an A on their report card (I'm too cheap for that kind of incentive anyway). But on the other hand, when Liam asked me about Santa the other day and what if he doesn't get any presents I did tell him "Santa gives presents to every boy and girl, even if they misbehave..." and then I added, "but if they're bad he might just not be too thoughtful with the gift he gives."
After a little bit of education on my part in classroom management classes and educational psychology, it became clear that this system of discipline fell under the category of "token economy". It's a token economy because the child expects the reward, or "token", to be dolled out every day. The tokens can then be taken back, even though they were never really earned (unless you consider not being bad "earning"). So besides being a pain in the neck (having to remember who I idly threatened vs. who actually needed to have their clothespin moved back), it also became clear to me that this was no way to discipline kids.
From the educational psychology point of view, this is all well and good. In my classroom I rely mostly on natural consequences. Other consequences like writing a sentence 100x just don't seem to cut it when preparing kids for the real world. Instead I have them write a letter to the friend they offended, or clean the desk they drew on or stop playing with the toy they threw across the gym during indoor recess. That's not to say I haven't also relied on incentives- like marbles that add up to pajama day (flannel and slippers all day at work? Whose the real winner here?). I've even brought in candy corn to toss at them when they answer questions (just like a zookeeper tosses fish at seals who jump through hoops in a pool)!
Now I'm a parent and let's be honest: Vygotsky, Piaget, Freud... really? Maybe that works in a classroom and maybe it works in a textbook. My guess is that while Piaget was carefully observing his children's behavior and stages of development, his wife was giving candy to keep them quiet while guests were over. My favorite book as a college student was called "Punished By Rewards The trouble with gold stars, incentive plans, A's, praise and other bribes" by Alfie Kohn. Great book, I consider it often.
I'm a parent now and my favorite book that I don't have time to read is "I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids: Reinventing Motherhood" by Trisha Ashworth. No really, I haven't read it so I can't attest to how good it is, but you've got to love the title (and it got what appears to be 4 1/4 stars on Amazon.com).
So now what? Am I all about breaking the rules of classroom management and educational psychology? Well first of all, no. I'm not parenting in a classroom but rather the wide world, there's more to parenting than managing children for a short period of time and psychology is more individual anyway. See, Liam doesn't respond well to incentives so of course I'm not going to over-use them. But they do work in the short term. If there's a really bad habit from nose picking to talking loudly, these things can be curbed by a simple piece of candy at the end of a day without boogery fingers or without busting an ear drum. I'm not exactly sure how I would be potty-training Joshua right now if it wasn't for incentives, but let's not go overboard, he's just getting a car sticker to put on a racetrack (and a potty dance, lots of clapping and smiles). Hey, whatever it takes to get something started (or ended), right?
What about money? Here's the big issue. I've previously *bragged* that my boys help me with chores. Have you noticed I haven't brought it up lately? That's because they're no longer helpful and I do think I know why. See, they were being helpful and I was so appreciative I started to give them some change from our change jar. Random amounts, nothing specific. They seemed super excited and eager to help... until one day they just weren't. They didn't want to help. They didn't want the $. Maybe they figured out that 18 pennies isn't such great pay or maybe the money just sucked the fun out of the game of helping mommy. Whatever the reason, I think my sister-in-law was right with her chore chart & separate allowances. She did warn me, I'm just a bad listener.
What's the conclusion then? What about rewards? What about punishments? Once something is given, I really don't like the idea of taking it away, unless it's a Nerf dart gun that was shot at someone's head. I like the concept of "intermittent reinforcement" which means giving reinforcements but being somewhat unpredictable about it. And let's not go overboard here, how about an old fashioned sticker or dish of ice cream from your own freezer. My poor kids, I doubt they'll ever earn big bucks for getting an A on their report card (I'm too cheap for that kind of incentive anyway). But on the other hand, when Liam asked me about Santa the other day and what if he doesn't get any presents I did tell him "Santa gives presents to every boy and girl, even if they misbehave..." and then I added, "but if they're bad he might just not be too thoughtful with the gift he gives."
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Under Pressure
"You know those stories you've heard about the Jewish immigrants fresh off the boat who lived in tenements, worked their tails off to earn a dime and wouldn't spend a penny of it? All of those stories are true, and those were my ancestors." I screamed this at my neighbor the other day, not because I was standing outside in the hot sun on a holiday, covered in mud, frustrated at a tedious task, with a case of the shakes & jitters, but because I had to scream so he would hear me over the incessant drone of the high pressure water pump behind me. "So no, I do not want to stop working tonight. I don't want to keep this stupid thing longer than we have to and I don't want to spend the extra $30 to keep it until tomorrow!" And I did continue working, even as my husband cooked ribs on the barbeque (to be fair, he didn't know the job would take this long and he did just get a new grill) and even as we had company in the backyard. And I kept on working until 4:00 pm when the water pump was due back at the rental office, at which time I had to concede; the job wasn't getting done until the next day.
But I was angry. I was angry about our sidewalk chipping, being refinished in an ugly grey color, repainted to look like the yellow brick road and repainted again to look gray only to start chipping and peeling away within a month or two. Up until recently we were baffled why we've had such poor luck with our front walkway. Apparently it's a latex-on-latex issue. You can't put one latex product on top of another. So who could I get angry at? The mason who is a good friend? Bill who bought the salt and used it to keep his family safe from falling on an icy walkway? Me for not being okay with grey cement or not going to the store to help pick it out? The home improvement store people for recommending paint instead of stain? Who? I tell you, I could drive myself crazy over this and after using the high pressure water thingy for well over 4 hours, I looked a bit like this (is it just me, or does this look like a witch- see her buggy white eyes? Bill claims it's just scribbles but he may have had me in mind here):
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All this was swimming around in my head until Bill said to me, "Why does it have to be someone's fault?" To be honest, he said that and it took a couple of days. I was angry and holding a grudge and digging with little comments- mostly directed at him. And for what? Why did it have to be someone's fault? And even if it was his fault, has he ever made a sidewalk before? [No] So why should I hold him accountable for the looks of cement?
Meanwhile, I well know that there are many slippery slopes that lead directly to me. Take the ding in my windshield. Probably could have been patched up until I waited to get it fixed and it's now snaking it's way up about 10 inches. Oops. And to tell you the truth Liam, we were probably late to swimming lessons because I had to make my tea, not just because you had trouble finding your shoes.
So I kept working like a crazy woman on that sidewalk until I couldn't possibly work anymore and we had already gone past the rental agreement. And there were still 3 slabs of sidewalk to go. Covered in mud and debris I headed inside to make myself human again. The next day (after swimming lessons) I was at it again with the pressure washer. It's a good thing I had worked so hard the day before too because I finished with no time to spare. I would have been spraying the sidewalk from the trunk of Bill's car as he drove back to Home Depot if he would have let me. No, but really, I think it was due back at 12:57 and he got there at about 12:53 or something like that!
Now our sidewalk is clean and it's time for the next step. Regardless of blame and accusations, we'll plug away at it this weekend. Taking turns, arguing over the pattern to apply and the color to tint with. It really is miserable work, but at least we're in it together. And I have learned some valuable lessons too:
1) Don't paint cement refinisher with vinyl in it with a vinyl based paint (if that doesn't make sense to you, don't worry, I'm still a little confused too).
2) Never aim a water pressure gun at mud.
3) If you give your kid enough water to play with in the driveway, he might surprise you by doing something educational like making a "beaver dam".
4) Blaming your loved one might get you an apology but it will never make you (or him) happy.
5)When your husband does something terribly romantic, take a picture.
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But I was angry. I was angry about our sidewalk chipping, being refinished in an ugly grey color, repainted to look like the yellow brick road and repainted again to look gray only to start chipping and peeling away within a month or two. Up until recently we were baffled why we've had such poor luck with our front walkway. Apparently it's a latex-on-latex issue. You can't put one latex product on top of another. So who could I get angry at? The mason who is a good friend? Bill who bought the salt and used it to keep his family safe from falling on an icy walkway? Me for not being okay with grey cement or not going to the store to help pick it out? The home improvement store people for recommending paint instead of stain? Who? I tell you, I could drive myself crazy over this and after using the high pressure water thingy for well over 4 hours, I looked a bit like this (is it just me, or does this look like a witch- see her buggy white eyes? Bill claims it's just scribbles but he may have had me in mind here):
Meanwhile, I well know that there are many slippery slopes that lead directly to me. Take the ding in my windshield. Probably could have been patched up until I waited to get it fixed and it's now snaking it's way up about 10 inches. Oops. And to tell you the truth Liam, we were probably late to swimming lessons because I had to make my tea, not just because you had trouble finding your shoes.
So I kept working like a crazy woman on that sidewalk until I couldn't possibly work anymore and we had already gone past the rental agreement. And there were still 3 slabs of sidewalk to go. Covered in mud and debris I headed inside to make myself human again. The next day (after swimming lessons) I was at it again with the pressure washer. It's a good thing I had worked so hard the day before too because I finished with no time to spare. I would have been spraying the sidewalk from the trunk of Bill's car as he drove back to Home Depot if he would have let me. No, but really, I think it was due back at 12:57 and he got there at about 12:53 or something like that!
Now our sidewalk is clean and it's time for the next step. Regardless of blame and accusations, we'll plug away at it this weekend. Taking turns, arguing over the pattern to apply and the color to tint with. It really is miserable work, but at least we're in it together. And I have learned some valuable lessons too:
1) Don't paint cement refinisher with vinyl in it with a vinyl based paint (if that doesn't make sense to you, don't worry, I'm still a little confused too).
2) Never aim a water pressure gun at mud.
3) If you give your kid enough water to play with in the driveway, he might surprise you by doing something educational like making a "beaver dam".
4) Blaming your loved one might get you an apology but it will never make you (or him) happy.
5)When your husband does something terribly romantic, take a picture.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Grass Between My Toes
Where have I gone wrong? Joshua won't go outside without his shoes on. I used to run down the driveway barefoot to get the mail... and my driveway was a quarter mile long and covered in sharp rocks. Now my kid can't take the feeling of a hot deck on his little toes? That's okay, someone invented Crocs. Finally a shoe that can be slipped on without a mother's help. This is particularly convenient if you stop by a Mc Donald's playground.
Right now Joshua has four pairs of shoes. I'm not saying he's got more than me, but for someone whose shoe size changes every few months, that seems like quite a few. He's got sneakers, sandles, Crocs and rain boots. Just what we need in the morning- more decisions to make. This is harder than you might think, "Do you want sandals, Crocs, sneakers or boots?" is often answered with a "No". In general though, after saying No, Joshua usually decides on whatever your first option was.
The fact that Joshua has rain boots is completely irrelevant. Why is it that he needs to jump in puddles when he's wearing his suede sneakers? I suppose that's better than Liam who I actually caught using his rain boots as buckets.
It would be worse, wouldn't it, if we had two daughters? Don't they have to own a variety of sandals, dress shoes, sneakers and more? So I guess I shouldn't be complaining too much. And we haven't yet gotten into sports that need their own unique shoes yet either. But still, I was a little put off when Liam, who has sneakers, Crocs, slippers, Merrells and rain boots (that match Joshua's), said "Mommy, when will you buy me sandals?"
Of course, our family's favorite pair of sneakers were Joshua's Squeakers. Not that we'll ever buy them again, but they were our favorites. I found them at a local discount store, they were wide enough for the feet he inherited from his daddy, and they were very cute too. Plus they were more than half off and I love a good sale. We bought them when Joshua was just about to start walking last spring, but didn't yet want to. For some reason, I was highly motivated to get him walking so we tried the shoes. They were an immediate hit. Within a week he was walking full time, within two weeks he was running. But that's not why they were our favorite. Before the Squeakers, Joshua kept mostly to himself and to us. He was happy to save his smiles for his Mommy, Daddy and Liam. Once he got those sneakers, he wanted to walk everywhere. And everywhere he walked, there was squeaking. So wherever we went, Joshua attracted attention and smiles and he started to just eat it up. By the end of the summer, he was strutting around in public places waving and smiling to anyone who happened be looking.
None of Joshua's sneakers squeak. Not his rain boots, his sandals, his sneakers or his Crocs. But he still waves to anyone who happens to be looking. Something tells me though that if I go back to that discount store to see if they have Squeakers in Liam's size, it just might be more annoying than cute. Perhaps I could find him some light up sandals. On second thought, next time he asks, I think I'll just suggest he go barefoot. Afterall, that's what I did when I was his age!
Right now Joshua has four pairs of shoes. I'm not saying he's got more than me, but for someone whose shoe size changes every few months, that seems like quite a few. He's got sneakers, sandles, Crocs and rain boots. Just what we need in the morning- more decisions to make. This is harder than you might think, "Do you want sandals, Crocs, sneakers or boots?" is often answered with a "No". In general though, after saying No, Joshua usually decides on whatever your first option was.
The fact that Joshua has rain boots is completely irrelevant. Why is it that he needs to jump in puddles when he's wearing his suede sneakers? I suppose that's better than Liam who I actually caught using his rain boots as buckets.
It would be worse, wouldn't it, if we had two daughters? Don't they have to own a variety of sandals, dress shoes, sneakers and more? So I guess I shouldn't be complaining too much. And we haven't yet gotten into sports that need their own unique shoes yet either. But still, I was a little put off when Liam, who has sneakers, Crocs, slippers, Merrells and rain boots (that match Joshua's), said "Mommy, when will you buy me sandals?"
Of course, our family's favorite pair of sneakers were Joshua's Squeakers. Not that we'll ever buy them again, but they were our favorites. I found them at a local discount store, they were wide enough for the feet he inherited from his daddy, and they were very cute too. Plus they were more than half off and I love a good sale. We bought them when Joshua was just about to start walking last spring, but didn't yet want to. For some reason, I was highly motivated to get him walking so we tried the shoes. They were an immediate hit. Within a week he was walking full time, within two weeks he was running. But that's not why they were our favorite. Before the Squeakers, Joshua kept mostly to himself and to us. He was happy to save his smiles for his Mommy, Daddy and Liam. Once he got those sneakers, he wanted to walk everywhere. And everywhere he walked, there was squeaking. So wherever we went, Joshua attracted attention and smiles and he started to just eat it up. By the end of the summer, he was strutting around in public places waving and smiling to anyone who happened be looking.
None of Joshua's sneakers squeak. Not his rain boots, his sandals, his sneakers or his Crocs. But he still waves to anyone who happens to be looking. Something tells me though that if I go back to that discount store to see if they have Squeakers in Liam's size, it just might be more annoying than cute. Perhaps I could find him some light up sandals. On second thought, next time he asks, I think I'll just suggest he go barefoot. Afterall, that's what I did when I was his age!
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