Someone forgot to teach Joshua how to cuddle. Don't get me wrong, he loves to give hugs and he likes to be held. But cuddling is something he just doesn't do. Liam will melt into you while watching TV. He's like a stringbean growing up a fence, wrapping his skinny arms and legs around yours. Not so much for Joshua. Instead of nuzzling his cheek against ours, he prefers to headbutt our chins. Really, he pushes his skull up into my chin as I read him a story, so much that it is sometimes hard to open my mouth to read the story.
Rocking Joshua isn't so cuddly either. He insists on facing out, perhaps because it gives him better leverage as he pushes up that head of his. I remember Liam used to lie on my chest, with his head on my shoulder. True, I may be idealizing Liam's cuddling and surely I'm forgetting that I used to spend hours in his room rocking and rocking and rocking him just to get him to sleep (that was back when I had time to rock a baby to sleep). Thinking back, Liam has always been more of a cuddler. So many mornings we woke up with him sleeping between us. We just fell asleep that way after the 2 am feeding. Again, I'm sure to be idealizing and forgetting the fact that he was kicking us and stealing our pillows. But Joshua just never caught on to sleeping in the bed- whether we wanted him to or not. On nights that Joshua ended up falling asleep in our bed, we would wake up to find him perpendicular to us- with his toes sticking into Bill's nose and that head pushing into my back.
Joshua always has plenty of excuses why not to cuddle. He wants that book read, to see the ducks at the park and to keep an eye out for an incoming brother. He can't be bothered to sit down when there's jumping to do back and forth across the room or running from one end of the hallway to the other. His hands are too full with cars or plastic farm animals (or this time of year, Easter eggs). Or, his favorite excuse, he would much rather run away from you than cuddle.
No, Joshua doesn't cuddle... but he does give hugs. He will hug friends, family and sometimes even strangers and he always does so with a big smile. You get that smile right before he dives in for his hug. It's like his way of saying, "No, I won't cuddle with you but for this one short minute you can keep me all to yourself.... until I squirm away."
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
The Real Reason I Want You To Clean Your Room (besides "Because I said so")
"My mom cleans my room, I just sleep and wake up and play videogames."
Really? Yes, really. This is an actual quote from a student and truly it baffles my mind. Within a couple days of hearing this in my classroom, I was down in Liam's room explaining to him why (1) He needed to clean his room and (2) He would not get paid for cleaning his own room. It wasn't easy but eventually- after far more playing than actual cleaning- the job was done and the floor of the room was spotless. I say the floor because this left the tops of the dresser, bookshelf and bed strewn with odds and ends. But still, it wasn't bad and at least I hadn't been cleaning it while he lived up a leisurely life in front of the Wii.
How many homes across America are messy until Mom (or Dad) intervenes? Countless. How many are messy until Mom (or Dad) do the cleaning? Hopefully a bit fewer. Because here's the thing... I clean the common areas for my own personal reasons. I don't like stepping on Legos, I'm afraid someone will just stop by, I want to secretly put together Liam's Transformer just because it's fun, etc... Sometimes (now this isn't often) I get into a zen-like state of cleaning where I need that quick satisfaction of turning a room that looks like a gigantic toy box into a living room again. I also tend to clean on my own because if it's really messy it makes me go batty and not be able to concentrate. But whatever, none of these reasons would justify me cleaning up Liam's room. Out of all the rooms in the house, it's the least significant to me (cleanliness wise). At the same time, it's the most significant to Liam... and therefore the one he has vested interest in keeping neater. It's also the one he is most responsible for. I'm pretty sure Daddy and I didn't dump all the books off of the bookshelf and I know Joshua didn't scatter stuffed animals around the room. So I do think it's important for Liam to keep his own room in order... on his own and not for money. Now for money, there are a variety of chores which Liam has already begun to master at the age of 5 and Josh has started to try at the age of 2 that I'm pretty sure that kid in my class has never heard of before... like wiping off the table, helping to cook a cake and raking up leaves.
Hopefully this means that neither of my boys will not end up in my basement at the age of 25 asking me where his clean underwear is. Now here's my biggest wish of all: hopefully I won't end up having to apologize to either of their future wives for sending out a son into the world who has never folded up his own laundry, put away the silverware or vacuumed on his own.
Really? Yes, really. This is an actual quote from a student and truly it baffles my mind. Within a couple days of hearing this in my classroom, I was down in Liam's room explaining to him why (1) He needed to clean his room and (2) He would not get paid for cleaning his own room. It wasn't easy but eventually- after far more playing than actual cleaning- the job was done and the floor of the room was spotless. I say the floor because this left the tops of the dresser, bookshelf and bed strewn with odds and ends. But still, it wasn't bad and at least I hadn't been cleaning it while he lived up a leisurely life in front of the Wii.
How many homes across America are messy until Mom (or Dad) intervenes? Countless. How many are messy until Mom (or Dad) do the cleaning? Hopefully a bit fewer. Because here's the thing... I clean the common areas for my own personal reasons. I don't like stepping on Legos, I'm afraid someone will just stop by, I want to secretly put together Liam's Transformer just because it's fun, etc... Sometimes (now this isn't often) I get into a zen-like state of cleaning where I need that quick satisfaction of turning a room that looks like a gigantic toy box into a living room again. I also tend to clean on my own because if it's really messy it makes me go batty and not be able to concentrate. But whatever, none of these reasons would justify me cleaning up Liam's room. Out of all the rooms in the house, it's the least significant to me (cleanliness wise). At the same time, it's the most significant to Liam... and therefore the one he has vested interest in keeping neater. It's also the one he is most responsible for. I'm pretty sure Daddy and I didn't dump all the books off of the bookshelf and I know Joshua didn't scatter stuffed animals around the room. So I do think it's important for Liam to keep his own room in order... on his own and not for money. Now for money, there are a variety of chores which Liam has already begun to master at the age of 5 and Josh has started to try at the age of 2 that I'm pretty sure that kid in my class has never heard of before... like wiping off the table, helping to cook a cake and raking up leaves.
Hopefully this means that neither of my boys will not end up in my basement at the age of 25 asking me where his clean underwear is. Now here's my biggest wish of all: hopefully I won't end up having to apologize to either of their future wives for sending out a son into the world who has never folded up his own laundry, put away the silverware or vacuumed on his own.
Friday, April 8, 2011
House of My Dreams
For more than 7 years (are we now up to 8?), Bill and I have lived in our home here on this dead end, quiet street. Not far away on one side is a busy urban street with a convenience store (that sells ice cream). If we turn in the other direction and go equal distance, there are horse farms and fields. When we bought our house I didn't really think it matched my ideal home. The rooms are square and I prefer oddly shaped rooms (I grew up in a solar home). There aren't enough closets and the rooms are too small. Our "master" bedroom is just big enough for two dressers and our bed. When you pull out the iron you are literally out of room. But we've been here for 7 years and we've made it our own. Bill fixed up our deck, we worked on curb appeal and spent too much on furniture.
A couple of years ago I was describing my dream home to the students in my classroom. it would be on a dead end street, a yard with a playground and it should have trees behind the house and maybe a creek. I realized without noticing it at first that I was describing our home that we live in now. While I've always assumed we would move on, I started to see a future right here where I am today.
Where will we be in 5 years? Or 10? The other night I imagined myself driving down our short street looking at this home. Would we be turning into the driveway or just driving by to see the old place? If just driving by, what memories would come flooding back at me? Maybe lying on the grass watching the boys play football or freaking out when Bill helped Liam sit on the tree branch (without holding on)... Maybe I'd see those endless hours of pushing Joshua's cozy coupe back and forth, back and forth up and down the driveway. What would the older me think of this life I'm living now? I may judge myself for not playing outside more often or for being stressed out too often. I may be envious that my boys are begging for me to play with them and are eager to give hugs.
Where will my car go after it drives by this old house? Of course, it would be wonderful to think that I would be driving home to that house with big bedrooms, vaulted ceilings and plenty of closet space. But what if it's just the opposite? What if these are the glory days and this is my house to lose? For so many people in this economy, this is sadly true...
Or maybe in 5 years I will be pulling right in to the same spot, just trying to squish bigger people into the same cozy house and car. It's entirely possible and it really doesn't sound so bad at all.
A couple of years ago I was describing my dream home to the students in my classroom. it would be on a dead end street, a yard with a playground and it should have trees behind the house and maybe a creek. I realized without noticing it at first that I was describing our home that we live in now. While I've always assumed we would move on, I started to see a future right here where I am today.
Where will we be in 5 years? Or 10? The other night I imagined myself driving down our short street looking at this home. Would we be turning into the driveway or just driving by to see the old place? If just driving by, what memories would come flooding back at me? Maybe lying on the grass watching the boys play football or freaking out when Bill helped Liam sit on the tree branch (without holding on)... Maybe I'd see those endless hours of pushing Joshua's cozy coupe back and forth, back and forth up and down the driveway. What would the older me think of this life I'm living now? I may judge myself for not playing outside more often or for being stressed out too often. I may be envious that my boys are begging for me to play with them and are eager to give hugs.
Where will my car go after it drives by this old house? Of course, it would be wonderful to think that I would be driving home to that house with big bedrooms, vaulted ceilings and plenty of closet space. But what if it's just the opposite? What if these are the glory days and this is my house to lose? For so many people in this economy, this is sadly true...
Or maybe in 5 years I will be pulling right in to the same spot, just trying to squish bigger people into the same cozy house and car. It's entirely possible and it really doesn't sound so bad at all.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Branded (A B to Z Guide)
Do all these new toys and brands and boys have you wandering the aisles of Toys R Us looking all dismayed and flabberghasted? Fear not, despite the peculiar names, I think I've got these toys and gadgets figured out. And if I can't figure it out, I have willing focus groups who can help you & I make sense of this all! I've got an Ato Z Guide (starting with B) here for you!
Bakugan- I first heard of Bakugan from my nephew and it took about a year for Liam to actually catch on to the phenomenon. Up until a recent Family Night, Liam had no idea what a Bakugan was and I had only a vague notion. Now we're the proud owner of three Bakugans. Bakugans are these little creatures that can be smooshed/transformed into a little ball. I didn't know how to get them back into the creature mode so we tried throwing them against a wall, squeezing them and tickling them. I decided to enlist the help of my expert focus group so I brought the Bakugans into school. The 4th Grade boys told me all sorts of things about the Bakugans. This is what I heard: Blah blah blah... they open up if you put them onto the magnetized card... their names are blah blah blah... and they're all good guys. Sorry Liam, you have 3 good guys and no bad guys. Apparently one of the Bakugans was so cool that all of the boys in my classroom gathered around my reading table with "Ooohs" and "Aws". They were looking at the Ziperator which inspired one of them to exclaim "Wow! It's like a Bakugan and a Bey Blade together!" What's a Bey Blade? Funny you should ask.
Reminds you of your childhood: Because you used to bounce rubber balls and you used to like little action figures so maybe you might have thought wouldn't it be fun to have both in the same toy? Meanwhile the cards remind you of Dungeons & Dragons, or Magic the Gathering or Pokemon depending on how young you are and how many friends you had in high school.
Beyblades- They spin like a top only faster and they can compete in the Bey Blade arena by spinning into one another. The lengthier title is "Metal Fusion Battle Tops". We don't have any of these yet but I really don't think we need them because we already have the Bakugan Spinmaster Ziperator thingy (see Bakugan).
Reminds you of your childhood: Because you used to spin quarters which cost about $12.75 less than a Beyblade does.
Dragonball Z- I think I missed this one. I'm hoping I missed this one for good and that it's no longer popular now that my kids are older because my brain really can't hang onto all of these things.
Hot Wheels- Nowadays it's not enough to just carry around your Hot Wheels car, you also need the packed up track too. So there are pirate ships, fire stations, airports and Shark Attack tracks that come in little brief cases that can be opened up to reveal several different tracks, elevators & jumps. I think these are super cool. Hot Wheels also has stunt tracks that can make a clean room look messy within minutes. These are also super cool as long as the little rubber bands don't snap (seriously, where could I find little rubber bands like that, especially since I don't wear braces anymore?).
Reminds you of your childhood: Because you used to drive your Hotwheels on the sidewalk or down your stair railings.
Legos- It's no longer sufficient to build a house or a car with your Legos. Now you need to build fortresses that would cost $99.99 (if your parents could afford that much). You don't need much imagination to build your new toy, just fork over the big bucks and start... following directions? No really, you probably will want to get your parents to help you; I mean do all of the work. There are age ranges but kids don't really want to hear much about the age range. When they have a choice between a school bus for their age group or a pirate ship for double their age, they will probably insist on the latter. Not to mention the fact that Lego has completely sold out. You can get Star Wars Legos, Toy Story Legos and Cars Legos (Duplos- that's for the youngest set). They also have their own battle warrior characters with the Ninjago line of Legos. These, like Bakugans, come with cards and many teeny tiny weapons. Of course, using Ninjago Legos can sometimes also mean building things with Legos, but not usually. Another Lego line involves using Legos to build your favorite board games like Trouble R2-D2 and U-Build Mouse Trap! Really, these Lego people are ingenious, making you buy a whole new set of board games just so you can have the fun of building them. Here's what I'm wondering. When your kid smashes all of these Lego creations you've built (with them watching) so that all you are left with is a pile of rubble and you can't remember where you put your assembly directions, can you just dump the pieces into a bin and tell the child to use his imagination to build a robot?
Reminds you of your childhood: Because you used to build things with Legos and spread them on the shag carpet so that after you "cleaned up" your parents would inevitably step on those tiny little pieces with their barefeet.
Mighty Beanz- Don't fall for it! It's just a plastic bean with a piece of metal inside that weights it to always point upwards. They have Star Wars Mighty Beanz and Marvel Super Hero Mighty Beanz. You can get a Mighty Beanz car (to drive on the Slam-n-Smash Race Track) or you can store them safely in a collector tin. Fortunately they only cost about $1.99 so if you fall for it, you will recover quickly.
Reminds you of your childhood: Because you played with your left over plastic Easter eggs and filled them up with all sorts of silly things, maybe spun them around a little bit and drew silly smiley faces on them with a marker.
Squinkies- Don't fall for this either! It's just a silly little rubber figure that comes in a bubble. It doesn't do anything at all. You can maybe get a ring so it will sit on your finger... or you could get a really skinny pencil to put it on top of but don't try to use it as an eraser because you will be disappointed.
Reminds you of your childhood: Because once you were actually successful in getting your mom to give you a quarter to get something out of the gumball machine and all you got was a stupid rubber puppy inside of a plastic bubble.
Transformers- These are a step up from the Transformers that I remember my brother playing with. They have different levels of Transformers but all have a funny way of having their legs fall off. Also, they attract an age group that is far lower than the ability it takes to work on most Transformers. Take Liam for example. Out of a scale of 1-5, Liam is probably a 2 but try telling him that he can't get Bumble Bee because he's a level 4!
Reminds you of your childhood: Because you had Transformers too!
Zhu Zhus- Apparently the country has come down with a severe case of allergies because no one wants real hamsters anymore, they just want pretend ones. My aunt has been the happy owner of guinea pigs for years but now that she's a retired teacher she's opted for a Zhu Zhu pet instead. We have three of them and they like to buzz around the kitchen floor darted around our feet while we cook dinner. They're great for us because Bill really is allergic to rodents (poor guy broke out when I brought an Egyptian Spiney Mouse home)! But what is everyone else's excuse? What I really don't understand about these Zhu Zhus is their roller coasters and pizza shops. You can buy these colored tubes for your Zhu Zhus to race around in. And apparently they can stop for a pizza too. Of course no boy would want to have their Zhu Zhu in a roller coaster so for boys there are King Zhu products which consist of armour loosely fitted around the Zhu Zhu pet. Apparently the cute hamsters are supposed to collide with one another (like a Beyblade! I'm catching on here; boys like to do battle)! King Zhu Zhu Zhu's come in electrifying boyish colors like green and black!
Reminds you of your childhood: Because your parents probably let you get a hamster even though they knew you wouldn't take care of it or because they caught a mouse in the kitchen and let you keep it as a pet for a few days in a shoebox or because you once saw your cat eating a mouse on your front porch.
Have you noticed a pattern here? Whether you're building, transforming, spinning or driving, how many of these toys end up with smashing and crashing?
Reminds me of my childhood: Because after a hard day at day care or school there was nothing quite like chasing my little brother around and around and around (or was he chasing me) until we finally smashed and crashed into each other. Now whatever happened to that type of good old fashioned fun?
Bakugan- I first heard of Bakugan from my nephew and it took about a year for Liam to actually catch on to the phenomenon. Up until a recent Family Night, Liam had no idea what a Bakugan was and I had only a vague notion. Now we're the proud owner of three Bakugans. Bakugans are these little creatures that can be smooshed/transformed into a little ball. I didn't know how to get them back into the creature mode so we tried throwing them against a wall, squeezing them and tickling them. I decided to enlist the help of my expert focus group so I brought the Bakugans into school. The 4th Grade boys told me all sorts of things about the Bakugans. This is what I heard: Blah blah blah... they open up if you put them onto the magnetized card... their names are blah blah blah... and they're all good guys. Sorry Liam, you have 3 good guys and no bad guys. Apparently one of the Bakugans was so cool that all of the boys in my classroom gathered around my reading table with "Ooohs" and "Aws". They were looking at the Ziperator which inspired one of them to exclaim "Wow! It's like a Bakugan and a Bey Blade together!" What's a Bey Blade? Funny you should ask.
Reminds you of your childhood: Because you used to bounce rubber balls and you used to like little action figures so maybe you might have thought wouldn't it be fun to have both in the same toy? Meanwhile the cards remind you of Dungeons & Dragons, or Magic the Gathering or Pokemon depending on how young you are and how many friends you had in high school.
Beyblades- They spin like a top only faster and they can compete in the Bey Blade arena by spinning into one another. The lengthier title is "Metal Fusion Battle Tops". We don't have any of these yet but I really don't think we need them because we already have the Bakugan Spinmaster Ziperator thingy (see Bakugan).
Reminds you of your childhood: Because you used to spin quarters which cost about $12.75 less than a Beyblade does.
Dragonball Z- I think I missed this one. I'm hoping I missed this one for good and that it's no longer popular now that my kids are older because my brain really can't hang onto all of these things.
Hot Wheels- Nowadays it's not enough to just carry around your Hot Wheels car, you also need the packed up track too. So there are pirate ships, fire stations, airports and Shark Attack tracks that come in little brief cases that can be opened up to reveal several different tracks, elevators & jumps. I think these are super cool. Hot Wheels also has stunt tracks that can make a clean room look messy within minutes. These are also super cool as long as the little rubber bands don't snap (seriously, where could I find little rubber bands like that, especially since I don't wear braces anymore?).
Reminds you of your childhood: Because you used to drive your Hotwheels on the sidewalk or down your stair railings.
Legos- It's no longer sufficient to build a house or a car with your Legos. Now you need to build fortresses that would cost $99.99 (if your parents could afford that much). You don't need much imagination to build your new toy, just fork over the big bucks and start... following directions? No really, you probably will want to get your parents to help you; I mean do all of the work. There are age ranges but kids don't really want to hear much about the age range. When they have a choice between a school bus for their age group or a pirate ship for double their age, they will probably insist on the latter. Not to mention the fact that Lego has completely sold out. You can get Star Wars Legos, Toy Story Legos and Cars Legos (Duplos- that's for the youngest set). They also have their own battle warrior characters with the Ninjago line of Legos. These, like Bakugans, come with cards and many teeny tiny weapons. Of course, using Ninjago Legos can sometimes also mean building things with Legos, but not usually. Another Lego line involves using Legos to build your favorite board games like Trouble R2-D2 and U-Build Mouse Trap! Really, these Lego people are ingenious, making you buy a whole new set of board games just so you can have the fun of building them. Here's what I'm wondering. When your kid smashes all of these Lego creations you've built (with them watching) so that all you are left with is a pile of rubble and you can't remember where you put your assembly directions, can you just dump the pieces into a bin and tell the child to use his imagination to build a robot?
Reminds you of your childhood: Because you used to build things with Legos and spread them on the shag carpet so that after you "cleaned up" your parents would inevitably step on those tiny little pieces with their barefeet.
Mighty Beanz- Don't fall for it! It's just a plastic bean with a piece of metal inside that weights it to always point upwards. They have Star Wars Mighty Beanz and Marvel Super Hero Mighty Beanz. You can get a Mighty Beanz car (to drive on the Slam-n-Smash Race Track) or you can store them safely in a collector tin. Fortunately they only cost about $1.99 so if you fall for it, you will recover quickly.
Reminds you of your childhood: Because you played with your left over plastic Easter eggs and filled them up with all sorts of silly things, maybe spun them around a little bit and drew silly smiley faces on them with a marker.
Squinkies- Don't fall for this either! It's just a silly little rubber figure that comes in a bubble. It doesn't do anything at all. You can maybe get a ring so it will sit on your finger... or you could get a really skinny pencil to put it on top of but don't try to use it as an eraser because you will be disappointed.
Reminds you of your childhood: Because once you were actually successful in getting your mom to give you a quarter to get something out of the gumball machine and all you got was a stupid rubber puppy inside of a plastic bubble.
Transformers- These are a step up from the Transformers that I remember my brother playing with. They have different levels of Transformers but all have a funny way of having their legs fall off. Also, they attract an age group that is far lower than the ability it takes to work on most Transformers. Take Liam for example. Out of a scale of 1-5, Liam is probably a 2 but try telling him that he can't get Bumble Bee because he's a level 4!
Reminds you of your childhood: Because you had Transformers too!
Zhu Zhus- Apparently the country has come down with a severe case of allergies because no one wants real hamsters anymore, they just want pretend ones. My aunt has been the happy owner of guinea pigs for years but now that she's a retired teacher she's opted for a Zhu Zhu pet instead. We have three of them and they like to buzz around the kitchen floor darted around our feet while we cook dinner. They're great for us because Bill really is allergic to rodents (poor guy broke out when I brought an Egyptian Spiney Mouse home)! But what is everyone else's excuse? What I really don't understand about these Zhu Zhus is their roller coasters and pizza shops. You can buy these colored tubes for your Zhu Zhus to race around in. And apparently they can stop for a pizza too. Of course no boy would want to have their Zhu Zhu in a roller coaster so for boys there are King Zhu products which consist of armour loosely fitted around the Zhu Zhu pet. Apparently the cute hamsters are supposed to collide with one another (like a Beyblade! I'm catching on here; boys like to do battle)! King Zhu Zhu Zhu's come in electrifying boyish colors like green and black!
Reminds you of your childhood: Because your parents probably let you get a hamster even though they knew you wouldn't take care of it or because they caught a mouse in the kitchen and let you keep it as a pet for a few days in a shoebox or because you once saw your cat eating a mouse on your front porch.
Have you noticed a pattern here? Whether you're building, transforming, spinning or driving, how many of these toys end up with smashing and crashing?
Reminds me of my childhood: Because after a hard day at day care or school there was nothing quite like chasing my little brother around and around and around (or was he chasing me) until we finally smashed and crashed into each other. Now whatever happened to that type of good old fashioned fun?
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