Let me define "Teamwork" to everyone. Teamwork is when you have to change a poopy diaper in the car. This requires its own unique set of skills and technique in and of itself. You have to strategically apply copious amounts of wipes, for example. And it requires that you neatly bundle up the icky diaper and then quickly reapply the new diaper (or else). So this all is a very tricky situation, as you can imagine. Unless you have kids, you've probably never seen an in-car diaper change because they tend to happen very quickly to avoid "issues". And on that note, those of you without kids probably are thinking that an in-car diaper change couldn't possibly be warranted and that there are certainly ways to avoid changing a diaper in the car. However, there is often no better option than to just change that diaper in the car, trust me. And really, isn't the car a little bit cleaner anyway than those changing tables in public restrooms? Don't get me started on those.
Okay, so back to teamwork. Teamwork truly is the moment when you realize that the bundled up icky diaper you've stuck on the roof of the car is miraculously... gone. That your other half (the mommy or the daddy) has just without being nagged or harangued (is that really a word?) or badgered (I'm pretty sure these are all just synonyms but they sound fun in sequence) he/she has swooped that diaper away and found a public garbage can to toss it into. Sigh. That was nice. See the other half of the in-car diaper change is that you have this baby in tow- and many of us also have other kids too- so getting to the closest garbage can isn't really all that easy if we're single or flying solo that day.
So teamwork is of vital significance. Without teamwork you end up doing crazy maneuvers like vacuuming with an infant (or worse, a toddler) in the Baby Bjorn carrier. You end up having to rush back and forth between pushing one child on the swing while catching the other one at the bottom of the slide. You end up trying to rationally ask your 4 year old to essentially "play fetch" (go get the diaper cream; get a towel for Joshy's bath since I can't leave him or else he will drown and we wouldn't want him to be dripping wet, naked and cold after his bath,...).
I am very lucky when it comes to teamwork because I have the best teammate there ever was. Actually, this is probably not even luck. I really spotted him early on and knew a good thing when I had it (him) so instead of pulling one of those "Let's be mature and independent and find ourselves in college" we just decided to keep going with a good thing. And I knew that Bill would be a good partner in life and in parenting because he coached his little brother's little league. And he vacuumed the carpet in the basement home that he shared with his other brother so that they both could have their girlfriends over. And mostly, he was able to deal with all of my childish behaviors and lots of times even join in with the immaturity. So I knew Bill would be a good teammate. And then when we started our lives together it was immediately apparent that my idea of cooking included (rubbery) chicken, (burnt/dry) rice and a vegetable so he started doing quite a bit of our cooking for us. I also established that I would do the laundry but only on the condition that he would do the garbage. This has worked out very well... especially since I still make him put away his own clothes anyway. So based on our years as kids together and then as grown ups without kids I knew I had a good teammate.
This is a very good thing because I have often remarked that "I would make a very bad single mom". There are excellent single moms out there but I'm perplexed by their ability to be excellent moms. I'm sure some of them have good support systems from their families but... mostly it seems like it would take more patience and stamina and energy than I have!
There are other rules to working as a team, of course. Whoever carries the diaper bag shouldn't also have to carry the baby. If you hear screaming in the bathtub, assist immediately (you will probably be asked to hold the slippery nude infant while the other person douses him/her with water). If someone is holding a sick child the other person should be on the phone to call the doctor. If you sense your partner is depressed you should bring her home glazed (&/or cream filled) donuts. Finally, (my personal favorite) if your teammate got to sleep in on Saturday you should get to sleep in on Sunday (and have breakfast made for you as interest).
Take it from me as someone while flying solo once nursed the infant while making macaroni and cheese for the preschooler, having a partnership is vitally important for bringing up a family. Because, really, without a teammate you very well could be driving home with a stinky diaper bundled up on the floor of your front seat.
No comments:
Post a Comment