Appearing to be Cute and Patient

     Sometimes things just aren't what they seem. Here's an adorable picture of Joshua with a bucket on his head.  So cute, right?

    
     I agree, this is ridiculously cute.  Who wouldn't take a picture of her little guy with a bucket on his head... and then post it on facebook?  What the picture doesn't show is why Joshua was wearing a bucket on his head.  It took me several minutes to piece the whole thing together, and realize that it was no coincedence.  See, while Joshua was toddling around with his bucket helmet, Liam was investigating a matter of science.  Specifically, he was investigating the concept of centrifical force.  He had taken the chain from one of our swings and was swinging it around in the air.  Suddenly the bucket didn't seem cute to me, it seemed completely necessary; probably insufficient even.
     Of course any fly on the wall can tell you things are just not always as they seem.  For example, someone seeing me and Liam in the grocery store produce section might remark about how well behaved he is.  He pushes the cart carefully, he weighs the fruits and vegetables, he chooses organic carrots... but by the time we have reached frozen goods another person in the store might think I have raised a monster.  By this time, I have taken the cart from him because he has run into canned goods or someone's sandles (hopefully mine).  By the frozen goods section, he is likely sitting on the floor, or trying to play tic-tac-toe on the frosty doors.  Someone might think I'm an awfully bad parent with no real control over my kid if they only observed me in the frozen food section. But let's look at the big picture... Liam is no monster but he's clearly not an angelic-mommy's-little-helper either.  It doesn't help that he has an attention span of about 10 minutes and a grocery store trip for us lasts about 60 minutes... at any rate, things are just not always as they seem.

     This would appear to be a beautiful Father's Day moment captured with our family.  But behind the scenes, there may be more to it than might appear.  See, we had just picked out Bill's mom to take the family out mini-golfing for Father's Day. But "on the way" we decided to stop to buy Liam a new pair of summer sneakers.  What should have been a 15 minute stop turned into a one hour diversion.  Was that because there were so many selections for Liam to choose from? No, in that one hour, he only tried on 4 pairs of shoes (not counting Crocs... do they really count for shoes anyway?).  At any rate, it was ridiculous.  He kept saying he loved the shoes, then he would hate the shoes, then they would be too loose, and then too tight and ... well we had all just about had it by the time we left (with the shoes he's seen wearing here).  I explained to Liam that we had all lost our patience somewhere in the shoe department and if he wanted to continue with the plan to go mini-golfing he and Joshua would really need to cooperate.  So we got to mini-golf a bit late, they didn't take the coupon (because it was a holiday) and we all had ice cream for dinner. Liam kept running ahead and Joshy kept running across the greens. Oh!  And as you can tell, our camera was not cooperating and now we have a bunch of blurry photos. We were doing our best to have fun but we all breathed a sigh of relief when we stepped off of Hole 19.  And then we realized it was way past bedtime already and we still needed to get back home.  So Father's Day ended with a mad dash once we pulled into our driveway.

     So what does this picture show?  A happy family mini-golfing on Father's Day.  The backstory... well it isn't so glamorous or memorable at all now is it?  Kind of like the bucket helmet picture.  He seems happy.  Does Joshua ever really have to know his life was in peril?  Did anyone ever have to know that our Father's Day 2012 was anything less than perfect?  Hmmm... moral of the story: Things aren't always what they seem... but sometimes it's best to keep up appearances.

Dolls and Guys

     Liam was never really one for dolls.  He didn't mind using them as pillows but really they had no other use for him... well, he also liked whipping them around.  Joshua on the other hand needs to line up his "babies" in his bed.  Some are invited on a given night, but not the next night.  Others are never allowed into the bed in the first place, but rather need to stay in his toy box.  My grandfather brought Joshua a Webkinz.  Joshy has no idea it's a has-been trend with an on-line code.  He just loves his fuzzy alligator. He doesn't even seem phased by the fact that his alligator is really a crocodile.  The alligator and Joshua are now inseparable.  It's all I can do to keep the alligator inside.  He's taken it outside but then it ends up in the washing machine... and Joshua can't stand a night without his new BFF.  The alligator even travels with him in his backpack for rest-time at the sitter's each day.  Of course, you never know who Josh will be carrying around in his other arm- his mini-chipmunk (Liam has a matching), his Mickey Mouse, his kangaroo mom & baby, a rhino, a State Farm teddy bear, a carnival elephant... or maybe the whole gang hugged inside his two little arms. 
     Joshua's dolls make all sorts of great conversation too.  They have opinions and insights. Some of them try to rule the world and others say in deep voices that they are superheros.  Joshua has zoo animals that he lines up according to Mom & Baby. These animal families also have conversations- usually something like "Where is my mommy?"  (high voice) "Come here Baby Zebra, I am your mommy!"  He lines them up, marches them around the living room and then lines them back up again.
     And there they would stay, lined up, were it not for my other son, Liam.  When Liam was 3 years old, I often wondered why he didn't play act.  I didn't understand it from a teacher's perspective because I kind of assumed that all children played pretend.  I suppose Liam does play pretend but he certainly has a different style.  See, the reason why Joshua's animals can never stay lined up, is because Liam's idea of play acting always involves a disastrous event of dynamic proportions.  It always involves explosions and crashes and\earthquakes. The result is a sort of spiraling pattern of disaster with a certain epicenter and ripples of overturned, smashed into toys spreading out across the living room floor.
     Now if Joshua was anyone other than Joshua, he would probably get very annoyed with his brother.  Actually (now I'm being uber-articulate) if he were the older brother and Liam was the destructive younger brother, I'd bet he would get awfully miffed.  But no, Joshua is so immune to his brother's idea of play-acting that he will just go along with it. Suddenly zoo animal babies are looking for their mommies with new fervor and the Webkinz alligator is coming to save the day. 
     Of course, Joshua doesn't just have dolls.  He also has plenty of guys.  Again, Liam was never into "guys".  He got into Transformers but that was mostly because he got a kick out watching Bill and I turn the guy into an airplane and then turn the airplane into a guy and then turn the guy into an airplane and then turn the airplane into a guy and then turn the guy into an airplane and then turn the airplane into a guy and, well, you get the idea.  After that initial kick, he would just forget about the Transformer or just use it to smash things.  At any rate, Liam wasn't too into guys.  But Josh?  Is he ever.  And he isn't really picky at all.  A giraffe can have a conversation with Sully (from Monsters Inc) and then the Joker can come along in his Jokermobile and steal Yoda.  But then motorcycle guy will come over with his friend Lightning McQueen and they will save the day with a little help from a crazy Koosh ball.
     And so the two boys play. "I am the most powerfulest of all! I am Hot Lava Man!" and "I am Destructigon! I can smash into everything!"  Here's an actual transcript of the boys playing tonight with an alligator and a guy on a motorcycle:
"Hey!  There's a new person on the team just like me!" Liam the motorcycle man
"I look like a alligator." Joshy the alligator
"How much stones do you have?" Motorcycle man
High pitched voice- Liam speaking as alligator now "I have like 99 of them."
Liam now back as Motorcycle Man "Well, I have much more than that."
"Hey, you guys can be the leaders" Motorcycle Man
"Whoa." Unknown McDonalds figure guy, spoken for by Joshua
"And you and me have thousands!" Joshy as Sully and Unknown McDonalds figure guy #2
"You know infinity is more than a thousand?" Liam as Liam
"We have thousands of stones." Joshy as Sully and Guy #2
"You guys be the guards.  We already have a leader.  I'm the leader." Liam as Motorcycle Man, Guys #1 and #2 and then ... well I can't keep track anymore.
"I have two weapons" Liam forgets about the guys and picks up two squishy light up balls with stretchy handles and starts flipping them around the room, both at once.
"And I have no weapons." Joshy in a deep voice.
And then there is a very in-depth discussion about who is the master and who is the master of the leaders or something like that.  And then who can lift things into the air (at which time Joshua lifts up the camera and we lose visual).
     So here's the thing, there's a definite compromise going on here.  Left to his own devices, Joshua would never do anything except lining everyone up, marching them around and then lining them back again.  And left to his own devices, Liam would never do anything except knock all of his toys around the room.  What would be the fun in any of that?  Being Master of the Universe isn't really fun at all, unless you can get into a contest of strength with the Most Powerful Superhero of All.

Star Wars: Spoiler Alert

     Tonight I made a huge spoiler error... I accidentally might have mentioned to Liam and Joshua that Anakin's wife, who is Luke and Leia's mother, died just after Anakin moved to the dark side to become Sith Warrior, Darth Vader.  Oops.  Silence filled the dinner table.
     Sure, they have the t-shirts and the toys and even the light sabres... and we even rode the Star Tours ride at Hollywood Studios but that still doesn't mean they know Star Wars. Even those early reader Star Wars books that Liam insists on borrowing from the library don't really help someone get Star Wars. Liam and Josh play around all the time talking about the Force and their space ships, but they've got very little to go on.  We've only watched the first two of the prequel trilogies and we haven't seen any of the original IV-VI together.  I think we might skip that sad third story altogether. 
     Still, that doesn't stop Liam and now even Joshua to be obsessed with Star Wars.  I might have fueled it a little bit in the interest of coordinating Halloween costumes (Darth Vader and Yoda).  But it didn't end with Halloween.  They even had a Star Wars birthday party theme this year.  Themes... they can get a little consuming, can't they?  And for what?  After all of my research and planning, I was told that my Darth Vader cake looked more like a wookie than the Sith Lord Vader.

     Although you might not be able to tell from my Wookie/Darth Vader cake attempt, I did actually do extensive research for this Star Wars party.  While the kids battled it out with pretend light sabres (we broke too many real ones in combat), I continued my research.  This was at about the same time that I got into Pinterest.  At any rate, fueled by Pinterest, I decided that I wouldn't stop with Star Wars cakes (there was a Yoda one too).  We needed Star Wars food too.  Here are some of my personal favorites:

Light Sabres made by dipping pretzels into melted colored
chocolates.  I later found out an easier way (wrapping the
pretzels with red or green fruit roll ups). 



We got most of these from a Star Wars spoof on You Tube starring
several characters including Cuke Skywalker.  Actually, I made some
of these up but I don't remember which ones.  We also had Carrot 3PO,
Chewbroccoli and the peppers were renamed Darth Mal's light sabres. 
We had Millenium Falcon dip too but that had no resemblance
(maybe the white color?) to the actual space ship. 



I saved this one for last because it's the best.  There was the
Storm Trooper Cheese Platter,but anyone could do that.  However,
who would think to try to pull off an R2 Brie2 (other than me,
because apparently I needed a diversion from everyday life)?

    So the party when off without a hitch, the kids enjoyed a Jar Jar Juice box while parents drank a Yoda Soda.  There were also Darth Cheddars (Cheese Its) and Princess Lays (potato chips) as well as Wookie Cookies (I never really thought how much a Girl Scout Samoa cookie looked like a wookie). 
     But I digress... and so I will get to the hitch.  Here's a room full of die hard Star Wars fans.  Kids ages 2-8 all who claim to know and love Star Wars.  But yet when you give the kid a Wookie Cookie, he looks at you and says, "What's a Wookie?"  And the Millenium Falcon Dip?  Oh, that went way over their heads.  Everyone loved the Storm Trooper Cheese Platter... because cheese and crackers are quite the popular party food, but the Storm Trooper part might have been a little bit lost on them (Liam actually refers to stormtroopers as "Crone Wars").  Pretty much the only one the kids "got" was the Obi Grape Kenobis, although they might have just giggled at that one because it sounds so funny.
     So here's my point.  All of this focus on Star Wars and Liam really hadn't gotten much further than Podraces and Jar Jar Binks.  What's worse, he doesn't even think that Jar Jar Binks is annoying!  For all his talk about Death Stars and Darth Vader, he really doesn't know how the two are related, not to mention what an Ewok is.
     Now, I am not a die hard Star Wars fan myself.  I was too scared at a sleepover party once when Luke got his hand cut off by his dear dad so I didn't ever watch them all the way through until high school when Bill rented the whole series for me.  I'm not a die hard, but what I am is obsessive compulsive (which is why my R2 Brie 2 looks so totally awesome).  However, I will tell you that even I might have gone too far.  See, Star Wars for 6 year olds is a little bit different than Star Wars for older kids- and by the time Liam would be old enough to appreciate Carrot 3PO and Chewbroccolis, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want either at his party.  I'm pretty sure by that point, it will just be a case of soda, a few pizzas and "leave us alone". 
     I suppose some day we will buy the whole Star Wars DVD set.  And when we do, at least for the next few years, I will probably fast forward the part where Anakin kills the Sand people village, attacks the Jedi children and also when Padme dies.  Then Liam will finally meet Luke Skywalker and, if I don't spoil it for him, maybe he'll realize on his own that Leia is his twin sister and that Hans Solo really isn't such a bad guy after all.

Until then, may the force be with you.