Potties are really gross. Not only are they visually unappealing, but they're smelly too. What's worse than a potty is a kid potty next to a real toilet. These things are just terrifically gross and no amount of cleaning really can account for the fact that it's regularly pooped and peed in (if you are a lucky parent). I tried, I really tried, to get Joshua to pee directly into the big potty. But there was always something wrong with the scenario. It's too high off the ground, the seat is too hard, the flush is too loud. So instead of peeing on the big potty, it's into that gross little thing that doubles as a stool for tooth-brushing time.
Here's why it's gross. I clean it out every time with disinfectant, or wipes or soapy water. But how well can you clean out a foamy insert seat? I'd love to get rid of the foamy seat but then it would just be too uncomfortable... like the big potty. So I pander to the little man and give him his stinky foam seat that can never really get clean. Now lately we've only had #1's, which is actually the bad news, but I'm just not looking forward to the #2's- cleaning that out of a potty is just plain wrong. Again, why can't all this go into the big toilet?
In my efforts to persuade Josh to use the big toilet, we bought him a big potty padded toilet seat. Same problem with foamy seat, but at least everything would go where it needed to go. No questions asked. Only it didn't work so well and Josh ended up back on the mainstay potty on the floor... next to the big potty.
You know what really grosses me out? Used potty seats. Now I admit that our current one was used by Liam before Josh. But let me tell you, no matter how much anyone begs for it, this potty seat is only leaving the house in a garbage bag. We're not passing it down to anyone and I certainly won't try to pawn it off on anyone for $3 at a garage sale. No joke, I went to a local garage sale with at least a hundred local consignors ... and I saw rows of potty seats. It was the third day of the garage sale. There were no strollers left, no more bikes or trikes or even toddler beds. The clothes were picked through. Just rows of potties and some old Leap-pad accessories. Two things you just can't even give away and here people were; trying to sell them!?!
A few days ago I just about gave up. First of all, Josh has really not been wanting to use the potty at all (probably because I'm C-R-A-Z-Y and he feels a little *pressured*). Second, I'm just really sick of choking on the disinfectant spray. So I asked Josh if he wanted to try standing and peeing. He thought it might be a good idea. First he watched Liam and then he gave it a try. Let me tell you, it was exciting to hear that tinkle. Possibly more for me than it was for him, although he did seem genuinely enthusiastic. To think, I could go back to putting in efforts cleaning our actual toilet more often rather than this plastic thing. And we could start using the potty again for it's better purpose... as a stool!
I realize that we have a long way to go, and that's okay. I understand that peeing is really only half of the battle, and perhaps the easiest half. I also realize that calling potty training a "battle" is probably why it isn't going so great. But at this point, it's a small victory and I'm eager to celebrate. Standing up has just reminded me that I may need to clean out that potty a little less often... but now I'll probably have to start mopping the floor next to the potty a bit more often.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Stepping Back
Swings. For years I've tried to avoid them. Not because they aren't fun. Not because it isn't good for kids to feel the sensation of flying... but because I hate standing there pushing and pushing... and getting yelled at and yelled at to keep on... pushing and pushing (x2 kids). I can understand Joshua asking for a push. He doesn't want to go very high anyway. But with Liam it has just been "higher and higher" and it never is high enough and he always wants to keep going and going. What he has failed to realize is that swinging should be self-sufficient. For years we have tried to get him to coordinate putting his feet out and tucking them under... but he just hasn't gotten it. We've demonstrated (that's the fun part)... but he still hasn't gotten it. We've nagged him; we've refused to keep on pushing; we've made up chants like "out" and "in" but nothing has been working.
And then, earlier just this afternoon, Liam said to me, "Look Mommy I can pump my legs!" and he did it. He just did it. After years of nagging and coaxing, he just started pumping those legs. I was no where nearby. I wasn't there to nag or anything... and he just did it. Maybe his aunt gave him some words of encouragement, or maybe it was watching his cousins pump their legs... but Liam just started to swing all by himself. And then he said (brace yourselves), "Mommy, instead of my 20 minutes with my DS when we get home, can I just practice my swinging?" and I said, "Yes?"
So I sat in the car with Joshua while he finished up his car-ride nap and Liam raced to the backyard to practice his swinging. He figured out how to start swinging without pushing off and he even practiced jumping onto his feet off of the swing. Amazing.
You know when you've spent months- or years- working on a milestone and it just clicks? It's, like, incredible. How did they learn to do that? (as if you didn't spend countless hours reinforcing the behavior)
It's not like it hasn't happened before. Months spent rolling and slithering around can suddenly turn into a backwards crawl; which evolves into a frontways speedster crawler. Months spent quizzing your kids on each letter and yet it will blow your mind the first time your child recites the whole alphabet. Time spent worrying that your child will never start talking and then before you know it, you'll be having a scientific discussion in the car about how radio waves work or about what type of super hero they want to become when they grow up.
Right now I'm right in the middle of forcing a milestone with Joshua and it's really not going so well. See, he was potty trained pretty well for the month of July but utterly refused to continue into the month of August to the point where we closed up his potty for the entire Fall and Winter and only used it as a stool for him to reach the sink. Aside from constant guilt trips as we changed his diaper, "Joshy, poopy belongs in the potty, not your diaper", we didn't really push the issue. Then over February Break, I started from scratch. Sticker charts had failed us before so I pushed right into bad-mommy territory and started giving Josh a piece of candy every time he used the potty. Motivated by Skittles, M&M's and Pez, he started to go pee again on the potty. But not #2. It's a quandary really. Pull-ups don't work so great with #2 but yet if you put him in a diaper, it's harder to pull down his pants in time for #1. So we continue the guilt trips and the bribery and the completely forceful nature of our parenting styles. I just can't let it go. I know that some of Joshua's hesitance is fear and the need for control. But it just doesn't matter to me. I need for him to use that potty. I see the end of diapers in sight and I just can't stand that we're not there yet.
How does potty training relate to swinging? I know that if I step back, things will happen naturally and that there is plenty of time. When Liam was ready to swing, he did. He figured out that it would look a little absurd for Mom and Dad to be pushing him on a playground swing at the age of 10. Or better yet, he realized how amazing it feels to be pumping your own legs, going just as high as you can go and feeling like you're flying; even if just for a moment. Liam got that taste of independence and it motivated him to keep trying. I'm hoping so much that someday soon Joshua will get that same big idea, that he doesn't need a diaper following him around all day and that he can control his own destiny... by using the potty. Maybe I'm reading into it too much. Maybe it's like I said; I just need to step back. Liam's got the swings in the backyard, Joshy's got his potty in the bathroom. Soon enough Joshua will achieve his own milestone. And when he does no one will be as happy for him as me.
And then, earlier just this afternoon, Liam said to me, "Look Mommy I can pump my legs!" and he did it. He just did it. After years of nagging and coaxing, he just started pumping those legs. I was no where nearby. I wasn't there to nag or anything... and he just did it. Maybe his aunt gave him some words of encouragement, or maybe it was watching his cousins pump their legs... but Liam just started to swing all by himself. And then he said (brace yourselves), "Mommy, instead of my 20 minutes with my DS when we get home, can I just practice my swinging?" and I said, "Yes?"
So I sat in the car with Joshua while he finished up his car-ride nap and Liam raced to the backyard to practice his swinging. He figured out how to start swinging without pushing off and he even practiced jumping onto his feet off of the swing. Amazing.
You know when you've spent months- or years- working on a milestone and it just clicks? It's, like, incredible. How did they learn to do that? (as if you didn't spend countless hours reinforcing the behavior)
It's not like it hasn't happened before. Months spent rolling and slithering around can suddenly turn into a backwards crawl; which evolves into a frontways speedster crawler. Months spent quizzing your kids on each letter and yet it will blow your mind the first time your child recites the whole alphabet. Time spent worrying that your child will never start talking and then before you know it, you'll be having a scientific discussion in the car about how radio waves work or about what type of super hero they want to become when they grow up.
Right now I'm right in the middle of forcing a milestone with Joshua and it's really not going so well. See, he was potty trained pretty well for the month of July but utterly refused to continue into the month of August to the point where we closed up his potty for the entire Fall and Winter and only used it as a stool for him to reach the sink. Aside from constant guilt trips as we changed his diaper, "Joshy, poopy belongs in the potty, not your diaper", we didn't really push the issue. Then over February Break, I started from scratch. Sticker charts had failed us before so I pushed right into bad-mommy territory and started giving Josh a piece of candy every time he used the potty. Motivated by Skittles, M&M's and Pez, he started to go pee again on the potty. But not #2. It's a quandary really. Pull-ups don't work so great with #2 but yet if you put him in a diaper, it's harder to pull down his pants in time for #1. So we continue the guilt trips and the bribery and the completely forceful nature of our parenting styles. I just can't let it go. I know that some of Joshua's hesitance is fear and the need for control. But it just doesn't matter to me. I need for him to use that potty. I see the end of diapers in sight and I just can't stand that we're not there yet.
How does potty training relate to swinging? I know that if I step back, things will happen naturally and that there is plenty of time. When Liam was ready to swing, he did. He figured out that it would look a little absurd for Mom and Dad to be pushing him on a playground swing at the age of 10. Or better yet, he realized how amazing it feels to be pumping your own legs, going just as high as you can go and feeling like you're flying; even if just for a moment. Liam got that taste of independence and it motivated him to keep trying. I'm hoping so much that someday soon Joshua will get that same big idea, that he doesn't need a diaper following him around all day and that he can control his own destiny... by using the potty. Maybe I'm reading into it too much. Maybe it's like I said; I just need to step back. Liam's got the swings in the backyard, Joshy's got his potty in the bathroom. Soon enough Joshua will achieve his own milestone. And when he does no one will be as happy for him as me.
Monday, March 5, 2012
What's In Your Pocket?
My pockets are always full and it isn't cash... it's trash. I've got gum wrappers, golf tees, pennies and fortune cookie fortunes; all in my pockets. And it's becoming quite a chore to remember to empty them out each night.
Oh Mom, I do so remember passing my little bits of garbage up to you in the front seat while you drove us to this practice or that person's house or from one party to another school function. I remember handing you crumpled up wrappers and sticky wads of gum. What I didn't consider then and that I know all to well now is that you had no garbage in the front seat of that car and you didn't really have time to make one. So instead you probably did what I do now. You probably stuffed the trash into your travel coffee mug (were travel coffee mugs even invented back then... no seriously, I can't fathom a world without travel coffee mugs). Or maybe you had one of those ash trays that they no longer install in cars. Or perhaps you had left that nice plastic bag on the stick shift after your last oil change. But more likely than not... you stuffed that garbage into your pockets.
Here's what I don't get about being passed car garbage. It's not like the kids pass me all of their garbage (they just think they do). No, there's plenty of garbage left strewn around their seats too. Stuffed into crevices of my backseat there are french fries and crayons, tokens and tickets, wasted stickers and fake tattoos. I cringe when I find the top of one of those sauces from McDonalds. True, they're passing me plenty of garbage... yet somehow they seem to be sitting in their own little landfill back there. And in my defence, it's really too cold out for me to clean out the car right now... maybe over Spring break.
Wherever we go, I leave with tissues, tags, candy wrappers and maybe even small art projects... all stuffed into my pockets. we go many places so I'm always on the look out for garbage cans (yes kids, there is a such thing as garbage cans) to empty my pockets. I'm met there by moms of other children (young and old- I must admit to passing my own Mom garbage even when I see her now today) who are all emptying their pockets into the garbage cans. Sometimes we find stuffed up wads of money that we didn't have time to put away properly... but usually it's those clingy clear straw wrappers from juice boxes.
Don't get me started on the laundry! If I forget to empty out my pockets those tissues become crunchy wads of lint in my pockets glued by snot to faded carnival tickets. Yet oddly, when I empty out the boys' pockets I find... nothing. No garbage. I suppose if anything I feel appreciative that at least they don't have a rock collection or bug carcasses in their pockets but mostly I'm thinking: why don't they just put their own garbage in their own pockets?
In an effort to be productive and not just to whine, I've come up with some solutions for moms who wish to stop this endless cycle of trash in their family:
1) When your child approaches you with garbage, put your hands in the air (out of their reach) and back up.
2) Direct them to the nearest garbage can... or their father.
3) Wear exercise pants (even when you're not exercising) because they have no pockets. Don't give into temptation to start stuffing trash under the elastic waistband.
4) Make your kids empty out your pockets before you do your laundry (a bad idea if you're hiding anything from your kids... like extra change).
5) Stop handing trash to your own mother, thus setting a bad example.
Oh Mom, I do so remember passing my little bits of garbage up to you in the front seat while you drove us to this practice or that person's house or from one party to another school function. I remember handing you crumpled up wrappers and sticky wads of gum. What I didn't consider then and that I know all to well now is that you had no garbage in the front seat of that car and you didn't really have time to make one. So instead you probably did what I do now. You probably stuffed the trash into your travel coffee mug (were travel coffee mugs even invented back then... no seriously, I can't fathom a world without travel coffee mugs). Or maybe you had one of those ash trays that they no longer install in cars. Or perhaps you had left that nice plastic bag on the stick shift after your last oil change. But more likely than not... you stuffed that garbage into your pockets.
Here's what I don't get about being passed car garbage. It's not like the kids pass me all of their garbage (they just think they do). No, there's plenty of garbage left strewn around their seats too. Stuffed into crevices of my backseat there are french fries and crayons, tokens and tickets, wasted stickers and fake tattoos. I cringe when I find the top of one of those sauces from McDonalds. True, they're passing me plenty of garbage... yet somehow they seem to be sitting in their own little landfill back there. And in my defence, it's really too cold out for me to clean out the car right now... maybe over Spring break.
Wherever we go, I leave with tissues, tags, candy wrappers and maybe even small art projects... all stuffed into my pockets. we go many places so I'm always on the look out for garbage cans (yes kids, there is a such thing as garbage cans) to empty my pockets. I'm met there by moms of other children (young and old- I must admit to passing my own Mom garbage even when I see her now today) who are all emptying their pockets into the garbage cans. Sometimes we find stuffed up wads of money that we didn't have time to put away properly... but usually it's those clingy clear straw wrappers from juice boxes.
Don't get me started on the laundry! If I forget to empty out my pockets those tissues become crunchy wads of lint in my pockets glued by snot to faded carnival tickets. Yet oddly, when I empty out the boys' pockets I find... nothing. No garbage. I suppose if anything I feel appreciative that at least they don't have a rock collection or bug carcasses in their pockets but mostly I'm thinking: why don't they just put their own garbage in their own pockets?
In an effort to be productive and not just to whine, I've come up with some solutions for moms who wish to stop this endless cycle of trash in their family:
1) When your child approaches you with garbage, put your hands in the air (out of their reach) and back up.
2) Direct them to the nearest garbage can... or their father.
3) Wear exercise pants (even when you're not exercising) because they have no pockets. Don't give into temptation to start stuffing trash under the elastic waistband.
4) Make your kids empty out your pockets before you do your laundry (a bad idea if you're hiding anything from your kids... like extra change).
5) Stop handing trash to your own mother, thus setting a bad example.
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