Now that everyone has already bought and received their holiday presents, I will offer some completely useless comments about... THE MOST ANNOYING TOYS!
First, a disclaimer. If you bought us any of these toys, don't fret. You may not have known they were so annoying. We might not have known they were so annoying until it was too late! And on the bright side, many of these most annoying toys are our kids' favorite toys so it's okay... at least you made them happy. On another note, if we have given any of these toys to your kids you may want to take a hint. We want you to be annoyed. Maybe it's fun to have other people suffering with us. On the other hand, maybe we just wanted to make your kids happy... at your expense.
(1) Kitty Keyboard (by Parents)- also known as Meowsic Keyboard (by Battat) or B. Meowsic Keyboard (by Toysmith). I can't believe I'm admitting to this but we actually bought this gift for Liam about 3 years ago for Hannukah with money from my grandma. We thought it was terrific... in the store. It was a keyboard, which would nurture our child's musical ability. There is a microphone to sing into! We liked the different features for musical beats and especially loved the instrument features. One instrument was the "Meow" feature and this is what really sold us. We thoroughly enjoyed the movie, Super Troopers, so any chance to turn Meow into music instantly appealed to us. At home we were amused by the Meow feature for only so long until we realized that the two song options- one with just plain annoying songs and the other with annoying songs about cats- were, well, annoying. And if you leave the kitty keyboard alone for too long she purrs. Let me tell you little kitty, if we leave you alone, it's because we want to and we certainly don't need a reminder 2 1/2 minutes later that you're still there.
(2) Lite Brite (by Hasbro)- Can't these people spell? Thank goodness we don't own a Lite Brite! I have nostalgia for owning a Lite Brite, I truly do. I remember my time with the Lite Brite fondly. I also don't doubt that my kids would love one- there's a similar exhibit at a local museum that they really like. But really, I could do without those teeny tiny transluscent pieces. So I'm quite thankful that we don't have a Lite Brite but I can empathize with anyone who does because it really seems quite annoying. Better to keep it in the daycare center!
(3) Busy Ball Popper (by Playskool)- Yet another company that can't spell! The Busy Ball Popper plays music as a fan blows into a tube filled with hollow balls that then fly out of the top of the Popper. Kids put the balls back on the track, they go back into the tube and it continues. This is a real favorite in our house... when I haven't hidden it away. No really, everyone loves it babies at 3 months to big kids. I've brought mine to school to demonstrate simple machines and electricity and the 9 & 10 year olds even love it. In fact, the Busy Ball Popper is so popular that it is instantly elevated to annoying status because kids enjoy playing with it over and over and over and over again so that the parents in the room are subjected to the same annoying music over and over again and often the responsibility is on us to (a) find the balls that have scattered around the room and (b) fish out other items that have been stuffed into the air tube (tissues don't come out on their own and neither do Legos). My brother-in-laws' family has owned at least 3 Busy Ball Poppers all of which become "broken" and thrown away. I'm pretty sure "Broken" just means out of batteries but in either case, they're out of the picture... until the next birthday perhaps.
(4) Xylophone sticks (by many companies)- I find xylophones to be nothing but trouble... because of the sticks. The sticks end up hitting anything and anyone except for the actual xylophone. The same goes for drumsticks. Musical talent does need to be fostered... but not on a pinewood table (they dent too easily).
(5) Sound Puzzles (by Melissa and Doug)- We have two sound puzzles. I bought the first one, it's a transportation puzzle. So if you put the car into the car slot it makes a vroom vroom sound. The airplane makes a taking off sound and the motorcycle makes a revving sound. The ambulance makes a siren sound, I should know because whenever I turn out the lights in the room that the puzzle is in, I hear the stupid ambulance. My brother-in-law (opposite side) once asked me what the most annoying toy we owned was. I said, "That stupid Kitty Keyboard!" Bill said, "That annoying transportation puzzle that makes the ambulance sound whenever we turn off the lights!" Meanwhile, Liam was opening up a gift from my sister and my brother-in-law. It was a musical instrument sound puzzle. Now whenever we turn out the lights, we hear an ambulance siren followed by a harmonica.
(6) Laugh and Learn Learning Puppy (by Fisher Price)- That seems redundant and repetitive, doesn't it? Joshua loves his Learning Puppy. It's a soft toy that plays music, talks, counts, says the parts of the body, sings the ABC's, etc... What we loathe about the Learning Puppy is that you press the off button on it's paw, it says "Good-bye" and then you press it's other paw and... it's singing again. Really? Didn't I just turn you off? Apparently you have to find the actual off switch under it's fur in the back (by the batteries) in order to turn off the Learning Puppy. If it's switched on, you may hear "Tummy" in a cheerful voice because you happened to throw something on top of it in the toy box. I say, if you have an off button on your paw, that means you're off. Am I right?
(7) Toys that say "I love you" (many brands)- I have a philosophical pet-peeve here. You don't love my baby. I love my baby. If a toys says, "I love you" to Liam or Joshua I plainly tell that the toy doesn't really love them, it's a recording on a toy. And then I tell them, I love them because I'm a real person and real people can love them... but a toy can't.
Before I conclude, I can't help but think that some of you out there may actually try to get my kids these things... because you want to annoy me. Don't think I am not aware of your intentions. If this gift comes to my house in wrapping and it starts making noise before we've even opened it and I hear a "Meow" or a "Choo Choo" or a "It's a great big colorful world out there..." I promise you, I will return the favor on your kid's (or kids') birthday(s)!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
On Gaming, Cell Phones & Other Gadgets
Are my kids technologically disadvantaged? I ask this in all sincerity. If you've ever seen Liam play Wii Mario Kart, you would know what I mean. He was recently playing while doing somersaults on the couch. He didn't do too well on Rainbow Road. It's really not his fault. We didn't even get a Wii until last Christmas (age almost-4) and the Mario Kart didn't come until a few months later. So he's had very little training. Over the summer Bill uploaded a few classic games onto the Wii including Super Mario Brothers. Why is it that Liam continues to try to run over the ditch? I say "the ditch" because he hasn't gotten past the first one independently. My 4 year old nephew came over and it turns out he plays Mario Kart with more skill than me (I should preface this by saying I'm not that good). Don't get me started on Joshua. We haven't even started his gaming training. But then again, he's just learning how to hold a marker.
Why is this even a big deal? Because I'm concerned about my boys' futures. It seems ever more apparent that this world around us is being built up around gadgets and technology. When I was in college, trying to keep up a long distance relationship, we still used email with a black backscreen and green letters. I can only imagine how terrific texting would have been. And now elementary schoolers have their own cell phones (for the record, I've yet to see one in the classroom... or hear one ringing in a backpack for that matter). In a world where ten year olds know how to text, you've got to start wondering with your preschooler if it's time to step it up a bit. I mean, doesn't he need to practice dexterity on a small keyboard... or maybe that's even out of date... so maybe we should just skip the keyboard and go right to touchscreen.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not currently standing in line at Radio Shack to purchase my kid an I-Pod. Although I did look into the Crayola MP3 player for Christmas... until I realized he doesn't know how to read yet so how could he choose songs? I'm okay with taking baby steps into the world of technology. We don't have a V-Tech or a V-Smile (although he does have a Smart Cycle). And I'm not into all of those learning video games. Let me explain that from a teaching perspective... I see Liam playing educational games. The Smart Cycle says to bump into the letters A, B & C. Liam drives the cycle furiously with no regard for letters, kicking off incorrect letter after incorrect letter until he gets the right one... and then he's off in search of D, E & F. He plays the games on Sesame Street (at pbskids.org) and could care less whether he gets an answer right or wrong. In fact, sometimes he prefers the negative buzzer more than the positive bell ringing. He's got a Leapster and I've seen him pressing his share of random buttons. So am I turning my kid into a random button pusher? My point is, that whether he's playing with the Leapster or Leappad, they don't give the type of feedback that real teaching can; and because of that, they just can't teach a kid to read or write on their own.
What will the world be like in five years when Liam turns 9? Will fourth graders be bringing their cell phones to school? Hmmm... I don't think things actually move that fast. But I certainly don't want Liam to be that tenth grader whose parents won't buy him the texting plan- or who has to use a pay phone to call his parents to get picked up from school. But on the other hand, I probably won't be the parent who stands in line at the cell phone store at midnight to get him the newest smart phone model. No, he'll have to make do with our left over flip phones (just kidding, we haven't bought a flip phone in years). And maybe I'll get him to train intensely on just one or two videogames so he's a pro. I know too many kids who have all of the gaming systems- X-Box, PS2, Wii and Kinect (okay, I"m probably totally wrong here, there's probably a few more significant systems) AND a DS! On a side note- doesn't anyone think that's all a major racket- buying all new systems and games every time the next best thing comes out? I still have my Game Boy. Maybe I'll teach Liam and Joshua how to play Tetris so they can wow all of their friends with their powers of strategic thinking... Hmmm... Or maybe they'd be better off if we just stuck with Mario Kart. There's only so many times you can slide your scooter from the ice flow into the frigid arctic waters before your friends start to only invite you over so they can make fun of you and inflate their egos.
Why is this even a big deal? Because I'm concerned about my boys' futures. It seems ever more apparent that this world around us is being built up around gadgets and technology. When I was in college, trying to keep up a long distance relationship, we still used email with a black backscreen and green letters. I can only imagine how terrific texting would have been. And now elementary schoolers have their own cell phones (for the record, I've yet to see one in the classroom... or hear one ringing in a backpack for that matter). In a world where ten year olds know how to text, you've got to start wondering with your preschooler if it's time to step it up a bit. I mean, doesn't he need to practice dexterity on a small keyboard... or maybe that's even out of date... so maybe we should just skip the keyboard and go right to touchscreen.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not currently standing in line at Radio Shack to purchase my kid an I-Pod. Although I did look into the Crayola MP3 player for Christmas... until I realized he doesn't know how to read yet so how could he choose songs? I'm okay with taking baby steps into the world of technology. We don't have a V-Tech or a V-Smile (although he does have a Smart Cycle). And I'm not into all of those learning video games. Let me explain that from a teaching perspective... I see Liam playing educational games. The Smart Cycle says to bump into the letters A, B & C. Liam drives the cycle furiously with no regard for letters, kicking off incorrect letter after incorrect letter until he gets the right one... and then he's off in search of D, E & F. He plays the games on Sesame Street (at pbskids.org) and could care less whether he gets an answer right or wrong. In fact, sometimes he prefers the negative buzzer more than the positive bell ringing. He's got a Leapster and I've seen him pressing his share of random buttons. So am I turning my kid into a random button pusher? My point is, that whether he's playing with the Leapster or Leappad, they don't give the type of feedback that real teaching can; and because of that, they just can't teach a kid to read or write on their own.
What will the world be like in five years when Liam turns 9? Will fourth graders be bringing their cell phones to school? Hmmm... I don't think things actually move that fast. But I certainly don't want Liam to be that tenth grader whose parents won't buy him the texting plan- or who has to use a pay phone to call his parents to get picked up from school. But on the other hand, I probably won't be the parent who stands in line at the cell phone store at midnight to get him the newest smart phone model. No, he'll have to make do with our left over flip phones (just kidding, we haven't bought a flip phone in years). And maybe I'll get him to train intensely on just one or two videogames so he's a pro. I know too many kids who have all of the gaming systems- X-Box, PS2, Wii and Kinect (okay, I"m probably totally wrong here, there's probably a few more significant systems) AND a DS! On a side note- doesn't anyone think that's all a major racket- buying all new systems and games every time the next best thing comes out? I still have my Game Boy. Maybe I'll teach Liam and Joshua how to play Tetris so they can wow all of their friends with their powers of strategic thinking... Hmmm... Or maybe they'd be better off if we just stuck with Mario Kart. There's only so many times you can slide your scooter from the ice flow into the frigid arctic waters before your friends start to only invite you over so they can make fun of you and inflate their egos.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Party Favors
Bouncy bounce, science museum, children's museum, skating rink, swimming pool and bowling alley- it's been a year of birthday parties. On a side note, I personally think the bouncy bounce was the most fun... for me. There's nothing quite so silly as a bunch of friends jumping around a bounce house... and occasionally letting their children bounce around too. On the other side of the spectrum... was the swimming pool. A birthday party for a kid turning 4 at a swimming pool? Huh? And this was at a swimming pool with no real shallow end! Not that I actually know this; Bill took Liam to that one. Apparently Liam was wearing a swim vest so was feeling so bold as the hang out in the very deep end, where Bill couldn't touch either so he had to paddle around after Liam for 45 minutes. Maybe Bill should have worn a swim vest too... Although this might not be Bill's least favorite considering he's had to sit through the same silly movie about the Kabooby Ruby (really, I did not make that up) at the local planetarium twice since September.
But seriously, the birthday parties are endless now that Liam has joined a preschool cohort. There are birthday parties every weekend almost, between his classmates, our friends & family. This weekend I asked Liam to please choose since he was invited to two birthdays- a bowling alley on Saturday and a skating rink today (Sunday). He opted for the skating. There are so many birthday parties that instead of having playdates among friends at his preschool, we've all just planned on meeting up at the next party.
On a positive note, it's just nothing but celebration after celebration... with a slew of screaming 3-5 year olds. Birthday parties have been following a certain formula recently. It seems we all meet up at a fabulous location and then hang out fairly independently of Liam's peers (i.e. skating with Mommy at the rink or bouncing from exhibit to exhibit shouting, "LOOK AT THE FISH! LOOK AT THE OWL! LISTEN TO ME RING THIS OBNOXIOUS BELL!", etc...). After this, the mass of children sits down and eats pizza, some small pieces of fruit and pretzels. Then there's the cake. And then the children go crazy. It's usually in a small room, clearly not meant for running, and yet this does not stop the children. They run in circles around the tables as though it was a planned activity. They run until one parent actually stops their child loudly and then the other parents are guilted into telling their children to stop running around like maniacs. And then everyone grabs a goodie bag and goes home.
Celebrations aside, this whole birthday party thing has me a little concerned. Liam & Joshua have birthdays coming up in March. So far our birthday parties have followed a certain formula... parents chatting upstairs, mass hysteria downstairs with minimal supervision, craft activity, possible game, cheap pizza and cake with store-bought ice cream. We enjoy some intimate traditions, like writing birthday notes to my kids on the same tablecloth each year and a cake I make following the given theme. And all of this is made possible by having the party at our own house. Aren't we enough bells and whistles? But this year I'm feeling like somethings may have to change. I doubt our current house could accommodate 20 more kids and their parents. And I doubt it would be enough anyway! So do we have two parties- one for family & friends and the other for classmates? Or do we have one big bash for everyone? And if so, where? It's been a few tough acts to follow one right after the other. But really, that's not what I'm as worried about. Maybe we'll go to the fire station and hire a magician... or better yet, rent the JCC gym so the kids running around like maniacs will be a planned activity. No, my biggest concern is the presents. See, we've been heading out the to store for each of these parties- for classmates, friends & family- buying this and that for all of these boys and girls. So what I'm really concerned about is this... they're all just about ready to return the favor. So then how many Etch-a-Sketches, Hungry Hungry Hippos and Mr. Potato Heads will we end up with?
But seriously, the birthday parties are endless now that Liam has joined a preschool cohort. There are birthday parties every weekend almost, between his classmates, our friends & family. This weekend I asked Liam to please choose since he was invited to two birthdays- a bowling alley on Saturday and a skating rink today (Sunday). He opted for the skating. There are so many birthday parties that instead of having playdates among friends at his preschool, we've all just planned on meeting up at the next party.
On a positive note, it's just nothing but celebration after celebration... with a slew of screaming 3-5 year olds. Birthday parties have been following a certain formula recently. It seems we all meet up at a fabulous location and then hang out fairly independently of Liam's peers (i.e. skating with Mommy at the rink or bouncing from exhibit to exhibit shouting, "LOOK AT THE FISH! LOOK AT THE OWL! LISTEN TO ME RING THIS OBNOXIOUS BELL!", etc...). After this, the mass of children sits down and eats pizza, some small pieces of fruit and pretzels. Then there's the cake. And then the children go crazy. It's usually in a small room, clearly not meant for running, and yet this does not stop the children. They run in circles around the tables as though it was a planned activity. They run until one parent actually stops their child loudly and then the other parents are guilted into telling their children to stop running around like maniacs. And then everyone grabs a goodie bag and goes home.
Celebrations aside, this whole birthday party thing has me a little concerned. Liam & Joshua have birthdays coming up in March. So far our birthday parties have followed a certain formula... parents chatting upstairs, mass hysteria downstairs with minimal supervision, craft activity, possible game, cheap pizza and cake with store-bought ice cream. We enjoy some intimate traditions, like writing birthday notes to my kids on the same tablecloth each year and a cake I make following the given theme. And all of this is made possible by having the party at our own house. Aren't we enough bells and whistles? But this year I'm feeling like somethings may have to change. I doubt our current house could accommodate 20 more kids and their parents. And I doubt it would be enough anyway! So do we have two parties- one for family & friends and the other for classmates? Or do we have one big bash for everyone? And if so, where? It's been a few tough acts to follow one right after the other. But really, that's not what I'm as worried about. Maybe we'll go to the fire station and hire a magician... or better yet, rent the JCC gym so the kids running around like maniacs will be a planned activity. No, my biggest concern is the presents. See, we've been heading out the to store for each of these parties- for classmates, friends & family- buying this and that for all of these boys and girls. So what I'm really concerned about is this... they're all just about ready to return the favor. So then how many Etch-a-Sketches, Hungry Hungry Hippos and Mr. Potato Heads will we end up with?
Monday, December 6, 2010
I'm All For Independence, But Does It Have To Be So Messy?
It's day 145 of our open cup training with Liam and so far we have had spills of juice on about 130 of those days. This is a battle I don't think we will win anytime soon. And yet it all started innocently when Liam started asking for juice in an open cup. And then we started to realize that he really is a big boy and soon will be in school... drinking out of a sippy? No, that just wouldn't do. It was time for Liam to become more independent. It was time for him to drink out of an open cup. Besides, Joshua was using the sippy cups so much by that point that we never had enough left in the cupboards. This is the price of independence... spilled juice.
What's truly hilarious about all of this spilled juice is its lack of effect on Liam. "Oh. I spilled my juice." And then he returns to eating his banana bread as juice pours over the side of the table, onto first his brother's legs, then the chair, seeping down to the floor. And Liam continues to eat his banana bread. He's ready to be independent enough to ask for the sippy cup but not to actually follow through with what is required of (a) drinking out of a cup without spilling or (b) dealing with repercussions of a great spill. I would love one day without spilled juice about as much as I would welcome a day without changing a diaper. Okay, that's ridiculous, of course I'd prefer a day without diapers!
Independence. It's what convinces Joshua to clamp down his teeth on top of his toothbrush so that there's no way I could possibly help him fight off cavities. It's what I wait for at the bottom of the stairs... when we're already all late for work & school... while Liam tries to zip up his coat. It's what we all yearn for but then can't stand when the time finally comes. Because independence takes time & patience- and I do tend to lack in both of these areas.
Having an independent child means you have to give up on being embarrassed. Just leave embarrassment at the front door. It's not a worthy emotion anymore. Because there is a strong likelihood that you will have to leave the house most days with a child whose clothing doesn't match. I know what can happen if a young boy grows up with no fashion sense. I once saw my father wear a plaid shirt with a polka dotted tie. Knowing this could be hereditary, Bill & I do tend to advise Liam when we can about his clothes. So when he came upstairs the other day wearing blue sweatpants, a green & gray striped long sleeved shirt and a short sleeved linen brown & blue bowling shirt; naturally Bill laughed and told him to take off at least two parts of the outfit and wear something else. Independent Liam had a hard time being convinced but eventually Bill found a matching brown shirt to wear under the bowling shirt with a pair of jeans. "Change the shirt or change the pants." Is usually one of the first things we say to Liam when we see him in the morning. Recently instead of saying that, I just told him to stand still so I could take a picture. He was wearing a red & gray striped long sleeved shirt under a blue and orange striped short sleeved shirt. It wasn't working. Ironically, Liam's fashion sense seems to be in fashion at his school. After a particularly fun morning of cajoling Liam out of sweatpants (those same pesky sweats), an oversized t-shirt and a nice but tighter fitting sweater; Bill entered the classroom only to see another boy wearing sweats, an oversized t-shirt covered by a too-tight sweater. Who knew? Liam tells us the top shirt is what everyone wears. To encourage his independence I decided to buy him those 2-in-1 shirts that are on sale at Old Navy.
Independence is inevitable. And young people need time to develop their own skills through independent practice. So maybe the concept of matching isn't quite sticking yet. And perhaps it's okay that I have to change Joshua's shirt after he eats breakfast each day (because you can't go to the sitter's wearing oatmeal no matter what type of fashion sense you have). Still, I kind of wish Liam & Josh would become more independent in some of these areas because I'm getting really sick of waiting... and waiting... or just doing it myself.
(1) Buckling seatbelts in the car.
(2) Tying shoes.
(3) Writing thank you cards.
(4) Folding laundry (correctly).
(5) Soaping their own hair in the tub.
(6) Remembering to close the door.
(7) Spitting into the sink after brushing teeth (not the side of the sink).
(8) Getting their own breakfast when they wake up before 8 am on a weekend.
(9) Changing his own diaper (Bonus: applying diaper cream)- this one is for Josh specifically.
(10) Cleaning up spilled juice.
What's truly hilarious about all of this spilled juice is its lack of effect on Liam. "Oh. I spilled my juice." And then he returns to eating his banana bread as juice pours over the side of the table, onto first his brother's legs, then the chair, seeping down to the floor. And Liam continues to eat his banana bread. He's ready to be independent enough to ask for the sippy cup but not to actually follow through with what is required of (a) drinking out of a cup without spilling or (b) dealing with repercussions of a great spill. I would love one day without spilled juice about as much as I would welcome a day without changing a diaper. Okay, that's ridiculous, of course I'd prefer a day without diapers!
Independence. It's what convinces Joshua to clamp down his teeth on top of his toothbrush so that there's no way I could possibly help him fight off cavities. It's what I wait for at the bottom of the stairs... when we're already all late for work & school... while Liam tries to zip up his coat. It's what we all yearn for but then can't stand when the time finally comes. Because independence takes time & patience- and I do tend to lack in both of these areas.
Having an independent child means you have to give up on being embarrassed. Just leave embarrassment at the front door. It's not a worthy emotion anymore. Because there is a strong likelihood that you will have to leave the house most days with a child whose clothing doesn't match. I know what can happen if a young boy grows up with no fashion sense. I once saw my father wear a plaid shirt with a polka dotted tie. Knowing this could be hereditary, Bill & I do tend to advise Liam when we can about his clothes. So when he came upstairs the other day wearing blue sweatpants, a green & gray striped long sleeved shirt and a short sleeved linen brown & blue bowling shirt; naturally Bill laughed and told him to take off at least two parts of the outfit and wear something else. Independent Liam had a hard time being convinced but eventually Bill found a matching brown shirt to wear under the bowling shirt with a pair of jeans. "Change the shirt or change the pants." Is usually one of the first things we say to Liam when we see him in the morning. Recently instead of saying that, I just told him to stand still so I could take a picture. He was wearing a red & gray striped long sleeved shirt under a blue and orange striped short sleeved shirt. It wasn't working. Ironically, Liam's fashion sense seems to be in fashion at his school. After a particularly fun morning of cajoling Liam out of sweatpants (those same pesky sweats), an oversized t-shirt and a nice but tighter fitting sweater; Bill entered the classroom only to see another boy wearing sweats, an oversized t-shirt covered by a too-tight sweater. Who knew? Liam tells us the top shirt is what everyone wears. To encourage his independence I decided to buy him those 2-in-1 shirts that are on sale at Old Navy.
Independence is inevitable. And young people need time to develop their own skills through independent practice. So maybe the concept of matching isn't quite sticking yet. And perhaps it's okay that I have to change Joshua's shirt after he eats breakfast each day (because you can't go to the sitter's wearing oatmeal no matter what type of fashion sense you have). Still, I kind of wish Liam & Josh would become more independent in some of these areas because I'm getting really sick of waiting... and waiting... or just doing it myself.
(1) Buckling seatbelts in the car.
(2) Tying shoes.
(3) Writing thank you cards.
(4) Folding laundry (correctly).
(5) Soaping their own hair in the tub.
(6) Remembering to close the door.
(7) Spitting into the sink after brushing teeth (not the side of the sink).
(8) Getting their own breakfast when they wake up before 8 am on a weekend.
(9) Changing his own diaper (Bonus: applying diaper cream)- this one is for Josh specifically.
(10) Cleaning up spilled juice.
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