It's Just Goodnight, and Not Goodbye

     I didn't cry when Liam started Kindergarten, but I truly did think I would cry when we dropped him off at summer camp (I didn't cry; apparently I only cry during cheesy movies like The Time Traveler's Wife). Liam got to go to the same summer camp that I used to go to, and that Bill went to so many years ago.  This camp was a special place long before I knew who archery instructor with glasses was B-)  Long before we were counselors, we were campers on opposite sides of the flag pole trying to shout camp songs to see if the Boys or the Girls were louder.  I don't exactly know if Bill felt the same way, but the smell of camp, walking from my cabin past the playground and to the rec field, I specifically remember thinking that I was only truly happy here at camp. That's because at camp, we left everything behind and started fresh.  Bill described it to me best: "On Sunday everyone felt a little lonely, a little nervous but by Wednesday's talent show you were having the time of your life... and by the time Thursday night came, you couldn't imagine going back to the real world. On Friday night, when the parents came you wanted nothing more than to just stay a bit longer with your new friends; your new family."
     I don't have many pictures of myself at Camp but I know how happy I was there.  I don't remember everyone I bunked with, ate with, danced with, ran with, swam/sung/swung with or made fly off of the teeter-totter.  But I do remember that there were many many friends that made the place so special.  I remember the campfires, the full sky of stars above, the song of taps calling us all to our bunks.  I remember feeling completely safe, protected and happy at camp... utterly at peace.  

   















     But I digress.  When we pulled into camp 17 years later with our son, eyes wide with anticipation in the backseat, Bill and I shared a special moment of happiness and pride.  We were coming back to our roots.  For a moment Bill was that archery instructor again (even as he complained that they had replaced Advanced Archery with a Bee Bee Gun course) and I was that perky teenager teaching little kids how to cook banana boats in aluminum foil on a small campfire (recipe: throw a peeled banana with marshmallows and chocolate chips into a square of aluminum foil; wrap it up and cook it up).  We dropped Liam off in his cabin and, even though it was a boy's cabin, I looked up at the exposed rafters and the ultra-twin mattresses and it brought me back, way back. 
     We walked to the flagpole and I remembered standing across the way from Bill, when we were a bit older.  I remembered shouting even louder because now I had someone to compete with on the other side.  I remembered sitting at the picnic tables surrounding the flag pole (even though they have all been moved to the new dining hall), drinking our cartons of milk and laughing with our new friends.  The playground was the same- I'm surprised the teeter totters are still there, and at the same time reaffirmed that at least someplace in this world it's still okay to shoot someone up 3 feet in the air and have them come crashing down to Earth on the woodchips.  The impossibly tall swing sets that I remember trying to flip over.  The rec hall was still there, made of that corrugated plastic roofing material that is sooo loud in a rainstorm.  All in all, camp remained the same.
     Was Liam's camp experience for me/us or for him?  Well, we picked him up only a couple of days later (camp is shorter for the younger guys) and he was brimming with excitement.  He told us about all of the swimming, and the swinging and the singing as if we didn't already know.  Just before we left, we took a bathroom break.  This might not sound significant, but hear me out.  When we got to the bathrooms, Bill and each took a right, into the "old" bathrooms. You know, the types of bathrooms with concrete floors and plywood doors.  And Liam took a left into the "new" bathrooms.  So while Bill and I remembered the lines for the showers and spitting our toothpaste into those same old sinks, Liam opted for the new.  Okay, I admit my example is a little sketchy, maybe a stretch for you to buy into... but to me it's symbolic.  Sending Liam to camp might have been more for Bill and I than it was for Liam, I do admit that.  Hey, maybe it was even an excuse for Bill and I to drive through those red gates 17 years later.  But ultimately, it was an act of love sending Liam there to this place that really hasn't changed so much after all of those years.  A place where he will grow to be independent and a place where each summer- for a week- he will be truly happy.

17+ Years Later

Liam and his cousin at campfire.

Appearing to be Cute and Patient

     Sometimes things just aren't what they seem. Here's an adorable picture of Joshua with a bucket on his head.  So cute, right?

    
     I agree, this is ridiculously cute.  Who wouldn't take a picture of her little guy with a bucket on his head... and then post it on facebook?  What the picture doesn't show is why Joshua was wearing a bucket on his head.  It took me several minutes to piece the whole thing together, and realize that it was no coincedence.  See, while Joshua was toddling around with his bucket helmet, Liam was investigating a matter of science.  Specifically, he was investigating the concept of centrifical force.  He had taken the chain from one of our swings and was swinging it around in the air.  Suddenly the bucket didn't seem cute to me, it seemed completely necessary; probably insufficient even.
     Of course any fly on the wall can tell you things are just not always as they seem.  For example, someone seeing me and Liam in the grocery store produce section might remark about how well behaved he is.  He pushes the cart carefully, he weighs the fruits and vegetables, he chooses organic carrots... but by the time we have reached frozen goods another person in the store might think I have raised a monster.  By this time, I have taken the cart from him because he has run into canned goods or someone's sandles (hopefully mine).  By the frozen goods section, he is likely sitting on the floor, or trying to play tic-tac-toe on the frosty doors.  Someone might think I'm an awfully bad parent with no real control over my kid if they only observed me in the frozen food section. But let's look at the big picture... Liam is no monster but he's clearly not an angelic-mommy's-little-helper either.  It doesn't help that he has an attention span of about 10 minutes and a grocery store trip for us lasts about 60 minutes... at any rate, things are just not always as they seem.

     This would appear to be a beautiful Father's Day moment captured with our family.  But behind the scenes, there may be more to it than might appear.  See, we had just picked out Bill's mom to take the family out mini-golfing for Father's Day. But "on the way" we decided to stop to buy Liam a new pair of summer sneakers.  What should have been a 15 minute stop turned into a one hour diversion.  Was that because there were so many selections for Liam to choose from? No, in that one hour, he only tried on 4 pairs of shoes (not counting Crocs... do they really count for shoes anyway?).  At any rate, it was ridiculous.  He kept saying he loved the shoes, then he would hate the shoes, then they would be too loose, and then too tight and ... well we had all just about had it by the time we left (with the shoes he's seen wearing here).  I explained to Liam that we had all lost our patience somewhere in the shoe department and if he wanted to continue with the plan to go mini-golfing he and Joshua would really need to cooperate.  So we got to mini-golf a bit late, they didn't take the coupon (because it was a holiday) and we all had ice cream for dinner. Liam kept running ahead and Joshy kept running across the greens. Oh!  And as you can tell, our camera was not cooperating and now we have a bunch of blurry photos. We were doing our best to have fun but we all breathed a sigh of relief when we stepped off of Hole 19.  And then we realized it was way past bedtime already and we still needed to get back home.  So Father's Day ended with a mad dash once we pulled into our driveway.

     So what does this picture show?  A happy family mini-golfing on Father's Day.  The backstory... well it isn't so glamorous or memorable at all now is it?  Kind of like the bucket helmet picture.  He seems happy.  Does Joshua ever really have to know his life was in peril?  Did anyone ever have to know that our Father's Day 2012 was anything less than perfect?  Hmmm... moral of the story: Things aren't always what they seem... but sometimes it's best to keep up appearances.

Dolls and Guys

     Liam was never really one for dolls.  He didn't mind using them as pillows but really they had no other use for him... well, he also liked whipping them around.  Joshua on the other hand needs to line up his "babies" in his bed.  Some are invited on a given night, but not the next night.  Others are never allowed into the bed in the first place, but rather need to stay in his toy box.  My grandfather brought Joshua a Webkinz.  Joshy has no idea it's a has-been trend with an on-line code.  He just loves his fuzzy alligator. He doesn't even seem phased by the fact that his alligator is really a crocodile.  The alligator and Joshua are now inseparable.  It's all I can do to keep the alligator inside.  He's taken it outside but then it ends up in the washing machine... and Joshua can't stand a night without his new BFF.  The alligator even travels with him in his backpack for rest-time at the sitter's each day.  Of course, you never know who Josh will be carrying around in his other arm- his mini-chipmunk (Liam has a matching), his Mickey Mouse, his kangaroo mom & baby, a rhino, a State Farm teddy bear, a carnival elephant... or maybe the whole gang hugged inside his two little arms. 
     Joshua's dolls make all sorts of great conversation too.  They have opinions and insights. Some of them try to rule the world and others say in deep voices that they are superheros.  Joshua has zoo animals that he lines up according to Mom & Baby. These animal families also have conversations- usually something like "Where is my mommy?"  (high voice) "Come here Baby Zebra, I am your mommy!"  He lines them up, marches them around the living room and then lines them back up again.
     And there they would stay, lined up, were it not for my other son, Liam.  When Liam was 3 years old, I often wondered why he didn't play act.  I didn't understand it from a teacher's perspective because I kind of assumed that all children played pretend.  I suppose Liam does play pretend but he certainly has a different style.  See, the reason why Joshua's animals can never stay lined up, is because Liam's idea of play acting always involves a disastrous event of dynamic proportions.  It always involves explosions and crashes and\earthquakes. The result is a sort of spiraling pattern of disaster with a certain epicenter and ripples of overturned, smashed into toys spreading out across the living room floor.
     Now if Joshua was anyone other than Joshua, he would probably get very annoyed with his brother.  Actually (now I'm being uber-articulate) if he were the older brother and Liam was the destructive younger brother, I'd bet he would get awfully miffed.  But no, Joshua is so immune to his brother's idea of play-acting that he will just go along with it. Suddenly zoo animal babies are looking for their mommies with new fervor and the Webkinz alligator is coming to save the day. 
     Of course, Joshua doesn't just have dolls.  He also has plenty of guys.  Again, Liam was never into "guys".  He got into Transformers but that was mostly because he got a kick out watching Bill and I turn the guy into an airplane and then turn the airplane into a guy and then turn the guy into an airplane and then turn the airplane into a guy and then turn the guy into an airplane and then turn the airplane into a guy and, well, you get the idea.  After that initial kick, he would just forget about the Transformer or just use it to smash things.  At any rate, Liam wasn't too into guys.  But Josh?  Is he ever.  And he isn't really picky at all.  A giraffe can have a conversation with Sully (from Monsters Inc) and then the Joker can come along in his Jokermobile and steal Yoda.  But then motorcycle guy will come over with his friend Lightning McQueen and they will save the day with a little help from a crazy Koosh ball.
     And so the two boys play. "I am the most powerfulest of all! I am Hot Lava Man!" and "I am Destructigon! I can smash into everything!"  Here's an actual transcript of the boys playing tonight with an alligator and a guy on a motorcycle:
"Hey!  There's a new person on the team just like me!" Liam the motorcycle man
"I look like a alligator." Joshy the alligator
"How much stones do you have?" Motorcycle man
High pitched voice- Liam speaking as alligator now "I have like 99 of them."
Liam now back as Motorcycle Man "Well, I have much more than that."
"Hey, you guys can be the leaders" Motorcycle Man
"Whoa." Unknown McDonalds figure guy, spoken for by Joshua
"And you and me have thousands!" Joshy as Sully and Unknown McDonalds figure guy #2
"You know infinity is more than a thousand?" Liam as Liam
"We have thousands of stones." Joshy as Sully and Guy #2
"You guys be the guards.  We already have a leader.  I'm the leader." Liam as Motorcycle Man, Guys #1 and #2 and then ... well I can't keep track anymore.
"I have two weapons" Liam forgets about the guys and picks up two squishy light up balls with stretchy handles and starts flipping them around the room, both at once.
"And I have no weapons." Joshy in a deep voice.
And then there is a very in-depth discussion about who is the master and who is the master of the leaders or something like that.  And then who can lift things into the air (at which time Joshua lifts up the camera and we lose visual).
     So here's the thing, there's a definite compromise going on here.  Left to his own devices, Joshua would never do anything except lining everyone up, marching them around and then lining them back again.  And left to his own devices, Liam would never do anything except knock all of his toys around the room.  What would be the fun in any of that?  Being Master of the Universe isn't really fun at all, unless you can get into a contest of strength with the Most Powerful Superhero of All.

Star Wars: Spoiler Alert

     Tonight I made a huge spoiler error... I accidentally might have mentioned to Liam and Joshua that Anakin's wife, who is Luke and Leia's mother, died just after Anakin moved to the dark side to become Sith Warrior, Darth Vader.  Oops.  Silence filled the dinner table.
     Sure, they have the t-shirts and the toys and even the light sabres... and we even rode the Star Tours ride at Hollywood Studios but that still doesn't mean they know Star Wars. Even those early reader Star Wars books that Liam insists on borrowing from the library don't really help someone get Star Wars. Liam and Josh play around all the time talking about the Force and their space ships, but they've got very little to go on.  We've only watched the first two of the prequel trilogies and we haven't seen any of the original IV-VI together.  I think we might skip that sad third story altogether. 
     Still, that doesn't stop Liam and now even Joshua to be obsessed with Star Wars.  I might have fueled it a little bit in the interest of coordinating Halloween costumes (Darth Vader and Yoda).  But it didn't end with Halloween.  They even had a Star Wars birthday party theme this year.  Themes... they can get a little consuming, can't they?  And for what?  After all of my research and planning, I was told that my Darth Vader cake looked more like a wookie than the Sith Lord Vader.

     Although you might not be able to tell from my Wookie/Darth Vader cake attempt, I did actually do extensive research for this Star Wars party.  While the kids battled it out with pretend light sabres (we broke too many real ones in combat), I continued my research.  This was at about the same time that I got into Pinterest.  At any rate, fueled by Pinterest, I decided that I wouldn't stop with Star Wars cakes (there was a Yoda one too).  We needed Star Wars food too.  Here are some of my personal favorites:

Light Sabres made by dipping pretzels into melted colored
chocolates.  I later found out an easier way (wrapping the
pretzels with red or green fruit roll ups). 



We got most of these from a Star Wars spoof on You Tube starring
several characters including Cuke Skywalker.  Actually, I made some
of these up but I don't remember which ones.  We also had Carrot 3PO,
Chewbroccoli and the peppers were renamed Darth Mal's light sabres. 
We had Millenium Falcon dip too but that had no resemblance
(maybe the white color?) to the actual space ship. 



I saved this one for last because it's the best.  There was the
Storm Trooper Cheese Platter,but anyone could do that.  However,
who would think to try to pull off an R2 Brie2 (other than me,
because apparently I needed a diversion from everyday life)?

    So the party when off without a hitch, the kids enjoyed a Jar Jar Juice box while parents drank a Yoda Soda.  There were also Darth Cheddars (Cheese Its) and Princess Lays (potato chips) as well as Wookie Cookies (I never really thought how much a Girl Scout Samoa cookie looked like a wookie). 
     But I digress... and so I will get to the hitch.  Here's a room full of die hard Star Wars fans.  Kids ages 2-8 all who claim to know and love Star Wars.  But yet when you give the kid a Wookie Cookie, he looks at you and says, "What's a Wookie?"  And the Millenium Falcon Dip?  Oh, that went way over their heads.  Everyone loved the Storm Trooper Cheese Platter... because cheese and crackers are quite the popular party food, but the Storm Trooper part might have been a little bit lost on them (Liam actually refers to stormtroopers as "Crone Wars").  Pretty much the only one the kids "got" was the Obi Grape Kenobis, although they might have just giggled at that one because it sounds so funny.
     So here's my point.  All of this focus on Star Wars and Liam really hadn't gotten much further than Podraces and Jar Jar Binks.  What's worse, he doesn't even think that Jar Jar Binks is annoying!  For all his talk about Death Stars and Darth Vader, he really doesn't know how the two are related, not to mention what an Ewok is.
     Now, I am not a die hard Star Wars fan myself.  I was too scared at a sleepover party once when Luke got his hand cut off by his dear dad so I didn't ever watch them all the way through until high school when Bill rented the whole series for me.  I'm not a die hard, but what I am is obsessive compulsive (which is why my R2 Brie 2 looks so totally awesome).  However, I will tell you that even I might have gone too far.  See, Star Wars for 6 year olds is a little bit different than Star Wars for older kids- and by the time Liam would be old enough to appreciate Carrot 3PO and Chewbroccolis, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want either at his party.  I'm pretty sure by that point, it will just be a case of soda, a few pizzas and "leave us alone". 
     I suppose some day we will buy the whole Star Wars DVD set.  And when we do, at least for the next few years, I will probably fast forward the part where Anakin kills the Sand people village, attacks the Jedi children and also when Padme dies.  Then Liam will finally meet Luke Skywalker and, if I don't spoil it for him, maybe he'll realize on his own that Leia is his twin sister and that Hans Solo really isn't such a bad guy after all.

Until then, may the force be with you.

Coordination Isn't So Easy But It Sure Is Cute

     Soon after Joshua was first born, I got to work searching the clothing aisles for matching shirts.  We had set up a photo shoot with a family friend at our favorite park. The spring flowers would be blooming and we were told to find something to coordinate. What I thought would be an easy accomplishment (finding matching polos) turned out to be a major endeavor.  It turns out that there is little in the way of matching when you cross from infant to toddler sections in the clothing stores.  Who knew that Carter's didn't see my vision of matching polo shirts.  But no, not in JC Penney or Old Navy or Macy's could I find matching shirts for the boys.  I was even having trouble finding coordinating colors, which I might have settled on had I not found a matching onesy and T-Shirt at Target.  They weren't the nicest shirts, but they did just fine and the pictures turned out cute enough... except for the fact that it was really too windy a day and we discovered that Liam has seasonal allergies (so even though the pictures of him sniffing the flowers are beautiful, they're also kind of pitiful).
     Thus began my on-going quest to find matching outfits for the boys.  I think it's because I am so stubborn.  If I find out that something is difficult, it becomes my new favorite hobby.
     Why do I like matching shirts and pajamas and, yes, even sunglasses?  Maybe because it looks good in photos, or because I want my kids to lose their identities as individuals.  Maybe because I secretly wish I had twins (side whisper- no I do not) or maybe I like matching clothes because it's just so darn cute. 
     Honestly, a bit of my obsession is because I'm afraid I'll lose a child when we're out in public. Dressing in matching shirts helps solve this problem... especially when the shirt is bright colored.  It makes it easier to spot my two guys in a crowd and, from a purely lazy point of view, it also allows my addled-brain to focus on one color or print.  On a recent trip to Disney (yes, did I mention we recently went to Disney???  Very special; magical) I dressed the boys in matching shirts that my mom had bought them especially for the occasion.  They had matching orange polos with dinos for Animal Kingdom (perfect for photo shoots in Dino Land) and we also had Batman shirts with capes to wear to Hollywood Studios and Yellow neon polos to wear to Magic Kingdom.  I knew that it would be hard for all of us to keep track of the kiddoes during their busiest season of he year, so wearing the matching shirts was part photo-op and part survival strategy.

     Over the years, I have developed a reputation for matching shirts.  It's actually a contagious obsession.  Especially once my sister found out that a clothing company called Hatley sells matching patterns that appear in pajamas, shirts and even bathing suits across all sizes- from infant to adult.  Ever since then, it hasn't been the same.  Even when we can get all three of our kids in the same matching print though, we never seem to get the shot with all three of them in it.
 

     Yesterday I gave Liam permission to choose a Halloween costume for 2012 that doesn't match with Joshua's. Thus far, I've been able to weasel a way into matching costumes.  Let me tell you, the pay off has been adorable.  But maybe this year, as hard as it will be, I will let go and let them choose separate costumes.  Still, when Liam said he wanted to be Darth Mal (or a Ghostbuster) and Joshua decided on "alligator", I felt a little sad voice inside of me.  It was trying to come up with convincing arguments for them both to agree on a theme.  I am not proud of it, but I did ask Joshua if he wanted to be Slimer.

     Okay, so call me cheesy or obsessive-compulsive.  Yes, I know both might be true.  But here are a few pics of my matching family.  You have to admit, it's kind of worth searching the racks at JC Penney.

  

Light Ups

     This afternoon in the hallway I spotted a little girl walking in a pair of pretty pink flip flops. And only the left flip flop was lighting up.  That's right, she had lop-sided flip-flops.  Now I would like to give myself credit for wearing the first pair of light up sneakers... ever... in the 80s.  They were white with black bows with sparkling gems inside of them.  I think I wore them with a pair of tapered jeans with bright pink zippers going up the back ankles (why hasn't that trend come back I ask you?).  At any rate, I specifically remember wearing light up sneakers and loving them. What I don't remember is how much of a pain in the ass they were.  I mean, really a pain- from the kid perspective and parent perspective alike.
     Light up sneakers (and flip flops) never stay lit up for too long.  Last summer I literally cried after buying Liam his first full-cost pair of sneakers ($55 plus tax).  Usually I luck out with discount stores but he has a wide sized foot and coupled with being in a particularly picky phase (his sock seams were bothering him), it became clear that I was going to have to actually go to a shoe store.  And get him fitted. And pay full price for a pair of shoes he would ruin promptly.  And as it turns out, this is exactly what happened.  I paid $55 for a pair of white Star Wars sneakers that lit up.  But not for long.  Shortly after returning home, but luckily before he had worn the shoes to his first day of school, we realized that one of the shoes didn't light up. I brought it back to the store and exchanged it for a working pair.  Pain in the ass.  Needless to say, it didn't take too long for one of the shoes lights' to blow a fuse and stop working.  Apparently you shouldn't walk through puddles while wearing light up shoes.
     Excuse me but- Really?  You just put a pair of super awesomely cool white light up STAR WARS sneakers on a 5 year old and now you're telling me he's supposed to be expected to not walk into puddles?  Now where's the fun in that?  Up until this point, Liam had not been avoiding puddles but rather steering his path into every puddle he saw.  Isn't that what every super awesomely cool 5 year old does?  Not only did avoiding puddles go against Liam's life philosophy, it also went against my parenting philosophy.  Water and dirt shouldn't be thought of as harmful to children- even when combined into mud.  I only ask that if you experiment with muddy puddles in the driveway, you take off the shoes and muddy clothes in the foyer before tracking them throughout the house. But avoiding puddles because of your shoes?  Where's the fun in that?
     So of course, after finding out that kids wearing light up sneakers were expected to avoid puddles... you would think that we would buy Liam a pair of normal sneakers next.  Not so.  This time we opted for black Death Star sneakers that lit up.  And Liam decided he would avoid puddles. Did I mention we bought these shoes in February?  Poor kid didn't stand a chance.
     Irony alert: Liam also has a pair of light up Spiderman boots that did survive the winter and do still light up.  Apparently Target is able to market a boot  with waterproof lights... whereas the $55 Stride Rite shoes just cannot be bothered to have waterproof their lights.
     That's it!  I'm never buying light ups again and that little girl with the pitiful lop-sided flip-flops just sealed the deal for me.  Isn't that what flip-flops are for?  Jumping into puddles and wearing into scuzzy showers when camping?  So who ever heard of a kid wearing flip-flops and being expected to avoid water?  This is incomprehensible to me.
     Okay, I might not have started this most-recent trend towards light up footwear... but I certainly can end it.  I'm just going to put it out there right now that I will always look for dark colored shoes (because white is just asking for it) and that they will not be light ups.  I'm just going to go ahead on an unrelated tangent and rule out Heelies too (sneakers with roller skates) because sneakers are for running and I think that buying something that will inevitably lead to scuffs on the floor or falling on one's ass is just, well, a big pain in the ass.  Where was I?  Yes, I'm ending the trend towards light ups.  I know they are super awesome cool and all the cool Star Wars shoes come in light up but (a) They're expensive and (b) I am not willing to compromise my philosophy: Kids should be able to jump in puddles, especially when they're wearing flip flops.

Thinking of You, Mom

     It's Mother's Day morning and it's blissful so far.  Not because the sun is shining, but because I actually woke up on my own this morning and both of the kids are still in bed.  Okay, to be fair, I think I ignored a "Mommeeee" coming from Josh's room around 6:15 am.  I've already sipped a cup of OJ and now I'm just waiting for someone to make me french toast (Bill is not showing any signs of getting out of bed yet).
     Mother's Day this year has me thinking about my own mom.  I realize that I am very similar to my mom in many ways.  I talk and make loud predictions during movies.  I lose my keys several times a day.  I only like to buy things that are on sale.  Everywhere I go, I carry too many overstuffed bags but I always seem to be missing the items we need.  I like Japanese food... and quiches... and seafood salad.  I love to eat vegetables, but I hate red peppers.
     Being a mom myself now, I've developed my own styles, techniques, philosophies and (yes) flaws.  This Mother's Day (as I continue to wait for my breakfast) I think it's a good time to reflect on how my mom has shaped me as a mother.  I'll leave out the flaws for everyone's sake.  As far as anyone is concerned today (on Mother's Day) my mom and I are both perfectly flawless mom.
     My mom attended everyone of my swim meets.  Well, within reason she did (some.were hours away).  I don't think she was too interested in the swimming either and I know it was pretty hot in there.  But she was there- up in the loft or in the bleachers smiling at me.  I only was on the swim team my Senior year in High School and I only swam because my friends did.  My mom really had nothing to cheer about.  I always competed in the last heat- the worst of the worst swimmers.  I wasn't actually a bad swimmer.  I even knew how to do those fancy flip turns on the wall.  Unfortunately I had a phobia or inability to dive off of the platform into the shallow end.  Not a great trait for someone on the swim team.  But at Sectionals when I landed on my feet and then started to swim, I'm pretty sure my mom didn't mind one bit (and it's okay if she laughed a little bit).  Come to think of it, maybe that's why she was still smiling at the end of my last lap.  So when I think of how Mom used to go to those swim meets and to my cross country meets (again, when I came in last place), I think it's not so bad having to juggle three T-Ball games in four days and work the concession stand.
     My mom was not afraid of a little dirt and neither am I. I don't remember ever getting in trouble because I had gotten too dirty.  I'm pretty sure as a young child that I ate a few pebbles.  My mom didn't seem to mind (or maybe she didn't know).  So we played outside, we worked in the garden and we tracked in mud.  So I really don't mind if my kids play in the sandbox.  And when Liam does experiments with hose water and mud, it's okay if he gets a little splattered.  I would prefer if he didn't sit on the couch, but I'm okay with the mess.  That's why I never buy the kids white shoes.
     Learning toys.  Not those annoying Leap Frog toys that sing songs about each letter and number.  No, my mom knew about real learning toys and she had plenty of them for us to play with.  Often times, these learning toys had many little pieces, but she didn't seem to mind.  She knew that creative play was important for young kids.  When we played, our toys never really looked the same. We had Marble Works (you design the marble ramps and then have marble races), Light Brights, Legos and plenty of dolls and action figures to play with. She bought my sister Barbies, but I don't think she liked it.  I sensed her distaste and tied up the Barbies by their hair to window blind strings and then swung the Barbies back and forth across our sunroom.  Today I've taken this to heart and now my kids have all sorts of creative toys.  I found a vintage Marble Works but the kids also have Bristle Blocks, Lincoln Logs, Wooden Blocks, Instruments, a Kitchen Set with foods, K'Nex, Stacking Cubes and much more.  Perhaps I've gone a little overboard in the creative toy department.  So, like my mom, I've also learned to rotate toys towards the front of the pile.  So every few months, I take piles of toys downstairs and put them away on the shelf and then (when Bill isn't looking) I take a new pile upstairs for the kids to play with. 
      Hmmm... still no breakfast made.  But also, still no kids awake so it's all okay.
     Speaking of learning... my mom is an expert in the field of child development and I did follow in her footsteps.  She always seemed to know and accept that children don't follow a rigid set of stages in their development.  Each stage is more of a spectrum and it takes time, sometimes lots of time, to move from one stage to the next.  When I was becoming more independent, she didn't fight it.  She negotiated a fair curfew with me and never said "I told you so" when I came back one hour early.  And when I developed a more creative streak she never told me I couldn't wear that dress with those leggings.  When I learned about Piaget's stages of concrete to abstract learning, and Vygotsky's "Zone of Proximal Development" children and their development all became more clear to me.  I've internalized much of these concepts (although I could use a refresher course) and it's made me a better teacher and mother.  It's taught me that learning is a journey, not a destination.  Even though many parenting books, state and national standards, your parent friends and the media tend to focus on how your child is performing at a certain age in their life, it's okay to resist that a bit and just recognize that your child is developing at his/her own rate with your love and support.  That sounds wonderful... but could Joshua pllleeeeeaasssseee just learn to use the potty already?
     Okay, there's talk of breakfast being started and I hear cartoons in the living room.
     Unconditional Love.  Now this is something I know for a fact that my mother got from her mother.  My grandmother has always told us about unconditional love and so has my mother.  So no matter how much we disagreed and whatever trouble we got in, my brother, sister and. I always knew that our mom loved us.  So when my boys hear me say "I love you up to the moon and down into the Earth", they know that I love them that much every day, no matter what.
     Happy Mother's Day to my sisters, my friends, my grandmother, my mother-in-law and most of all to you Mom!  I love you up to the moon and down into the Earth!