This afternoon in the hallway I spotted a little girl walking in a pair of pretty pink flip flops. And only the left flip flop was lighting up. That's right, she had lop-sided flip-flops. Now I would like to give myself credit for wearing the first pair of light up sneakers... ever... in the 80s. They were white with black bows with sparkling gems inside of them. I think I wore them with a pair of tapered jeans with bright pink zippers going up the back ankles (why hasn't that trend come back I ask you?). At any rate, I specifically remember wearing light up sneakers and loving them. What I don't remember is how much of a pain in the ass they were. I mean, really a pain- from the kid perspective and parent perspective alike.
Light up sneakers (and flip flops) never stay lit up for too long. Last summer I literally cried after buying Liam his first full-cost pair of sneakers ($55 plus tax). Usually I luck out with discount stores but he has a wide sized foot and coupled with being in a particularly picky phase (his sock seams were bothering him), it became clear that I was going to have to actually go to a shoe store. And get him fitted. And pay full price for a pair of shoes he would ruin promptly. And as it turns out, this is exactly what happened. I paid $55 for a pair of white Star Wars sneakers that lit up. But not for long. Shortly after returning home, but luckily before he had worn the shoes to his first day of school, we realized that one of the shoes didn't light up. I brought it back to the store and exchanged it for a working pair. Pain in the ass. Needless to say, it didn't take too long for one of the shoes lights' to blow a fuse and stop working. Apparently you shouldn't walk through puddles while wearing light up shoes.
Excuse me but- Really? You just put a pair of super awesomely cool white light up STAR WARS sneakers on a 5 year old and now you're telling me he's supposed to be expected to not walk into puddles? Now where's the fun in that? Up until this point, Liam had not been avoiding puddles but rather steering his path into every puddle he saw. Isn't that what every super awesomely cool 5 year old does? Not only did avoiding puddles go against Liam's life philosophy, it also went against my parenting philosophy. Water and dirt shouldn't be thought of as harmful to children- even when combined into mud. I only ask that if you experiment with muddy puddles in the driveway, you take off the shoes and muddy clothes in the foyer before tracking them throughout the house. But avoiding puddles because of your shoes? Where's the fun in that?
So of course, after finding out that kids wearing light up sneakers were expected to avoid puddles... you would think that we would buy Liam a pair of normal sneakers next. Not so. This time we opted for black Death Star sneakers that lit up. And Liam decided he would avoid puddles. Did I mention we bought these shoes in February? Poor kid didn't stand a chance.
Irony alert: Liam also has a pair of light up Spiderman boots that did survive the winter and do still light up. Apparently Target is able to market a boot with waterproof lights... whereas the $55 Stride Rite shoes just cannot be bothered to have waterproof their lights.
That's it! I'm never buying light ups again and that little girl with the pitiful lop-sided flip-flops just sealed the deal for me. Isn't that what flip-flops are for? Jumping into puddles and wearing into scuzzy showers when camping? So who ever heard of a kid wearing flip-flops and being expected to avoid water? This is incomprehensible to me.
Okay, I might not have started this most-recent trend towards light up footwear... but I certainly can end it. I'm just going to put it out there right now that I will always look for dark colored shoes (because white is just asking for it) and that they will not be light ups. I'm just going to go ahead on an unrelated tangent and rule out Heelies too (sneakers with roller skates) because sneakers are for running and I think that buying something that will inevitably lead to scuffs on the floor or falling on one's ass is just, well, a big pain in the ass. Where was I? Yes, I'm ending the trend towards light ups. I know they are super awesome cool and all the cool Star Wars shoes come in light up but (a) They're expensive and (b) I am not willing to compromise my philosophy: Kids should be able to jump in puddles, especially when they're wearing flip flops.
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