I'd like to introduce you to Frank. Frank spends most of his time in our hallway closet. He's our vacuum. I've decided to call him Frank because he truly is the Frankenstein of vacuums. Frank and I have been through a lot. I've appreciated his wheels when I've had to lug the canister up and down the hallway while carrying a baby. Frank is the perfect height to fit under our coffee table to vacuum up stray Cheerios. And really, as much as I complain about vacuuming the stairs (truly my least favorite of all household chores- except for doing the garbage, that's just horrible- mostly because I"m lazy and don't want to go outside), it's really not so bad with my trusty canister vacuum.
Now over the years, Frank has become a bit decrepit. Right now he's literally held together with duct tape. This is due to an unfortunate incident where I thought it would be a good idea to involve both boys in vacuuming. So I had Liam vacuuming with Joshua riding the canister (did I mention this was my idea) and was actually slightly surprised when the hose came off of the canister. Bill taped it back on but it hasn't quite been the same since. This would have been devastating if (1) it wasn't already considered a decrepit vacuum cleaner or (2) if I actually thought it couldn't be fixed and would have to immediately buy a vacuum. Instead we've been using the taped together vacuum for the last 4 months. Before the unfortunate riding-on-the-vacuum incident, we had our fair share of vacuum mishaps. The plug came off of the cord (but it cost only about $1.50 to fix with a new plug and a Handy-Manny-Husband- without the accent or talking tools). Joshua likes to steal the light cover on the vacuum head and has stolen it so many times that I just stopped putting the cover back on (in fact, I think the cover is in his toy box right now). Liam was vacuuming the stairs last week (I know, you're thinking about what a genius I am, getting my son to do my second least favorite chore for me) and kept screaming over the vacuum cleaner attachment: "It keeps falling off!" And I couldn't help but wonder, why would they make a vacuum cleaner attachment with a removable brush anyway?
A few years ago Bill bought me a new vacuum for Christmas. There it was, a brand new upright vacuum cleaner. He thought he was hilarious, buying such a useful gift for Christmas. But after looking up its ratings on Consumer Reports, we returned that one with the expectation of buying a new one with better ratings. That was 2 years ago (or maybe 3?).
I'm really not in too much too much of a hurry anyway. It seems like every time I shop for new vacuums there are new features which seem so appealing- like Hepa Filters & extending vacuum hoses! If I wait long enough, there could be a such thing as a vacuum that vacuums stairs without my assistance (think of the Roomba Helicopter). I'm really glad we didn't keep that upright anyway- last time I shopped for vacuums I picked up one of those uprights and they were so much heavier than Frank! If I thought vacuuming the stairs with Frank was a chore, imagine it with an upright! That was a close call! For now, I think I'll just continue to hide Frank in the closet. I'll just continue to tell people that we didn't vacuum... just so they don't get their expectations too high.
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