It isn't the first time someone has asked but this weekend as I was cleaning our kitchen just before our annual summer barbecue, my dad asked it again, "Why are you cleaning before the party?"
I suppose it's a good question but to answer that question I will need to explain some of my other quirks when it comes to cleaning. First, let it be known that I am the furthest thing from a neat freak. I don't really completely believe in germs (except when those kids come into my class with their runny noses, chew on their pencils and then leave their tissues lying around). I don't have a schedule for cleaning the house and I do completely admit that more than half of the days of the week I go to bed with a sink full of dishes in the kitchen. So now I've "outed" myself. My house is a wreck most times and it's not all the kids' fault. My schoolwork lies around in various stacks, we've got cell phone chargers sticking out of every outlet and there are crumbs on the counter that the kids can't even reach. But really, we're not exactly slobs. We know a mess when we see one and we both really do make an effort to clean it up (I say both because, no, the boys do not "know a mess when they see one" and, no, they do not "make an effort to clean it up"). I'll come upstairs after checking my email and there's Bill picking up the "zoo maminals" or he'll keep our favorite TV show paused while I finish up a load of dishes (okay, sometimes I do the dishes before bed). We do really try, it's just so much to keep up with! There's tons of laundry and whenever I find myself taking a two-day vacation from laundry someone yells at me because they're out of socks, or their favorite underwear isn't clean or I run out of one of the three pairs of shorts that still actually fit me.
I have friends who actually do clean their houses... and not just because company is coming over. But really any amount of cleaning with kids in the house is borderline futile and barely-worth-it. No matter how often you wash the dishes, there will still be more dishes. No matter how often you do the laundry, there will be more and more filthy dirty socks (and it doesn't help if your kids like to play in the mud like mine do). No matter how often you clean up the toys- with or without the kids' help- they'll find a way to take out more toys and make more of a mess with smaller pieces. And after all of that washing and picking up, is there really time for the dusting and the spraying and the scrubbing? Really?
It's not just a working mom thing either. During the school year, I would like to assure myself that I can't clean up as much as I would like to "because I'm a working mom". I'm so busy! I leave early in the morning, return for just enough time to play, have dinner, put the kids to bed and then do more schoolwork. But now over the summer, I am home and yikes! I've got to tell you, I've got plenty more time at home with the kids but not much more is being cleaned. Maybe it's because I'm so busy with all of the play dates and the classes and the activities or maybe it's because the kids are home more so they're making more messes. Whatever the reason, there's still a full sink of dishes in my sink right now (in my defense, I did do the dishes just before dinner tonight so the dishwasher is running). It seems that if I ever do hire a cleaning lady, I will have to hire her year-round.
Judgement. That's why I clean before parties. I don't want to be unfairly- okay "fairly"- judged as a messy homemaker. It's bad enough I didn't have time to vacuum the cobwebs before the party this weekend, did I really want people seeing all of the unfolded towels in the hallway closet (easy remedy- close the closet)? I know; during the party the floor will get all crummy, the carpet will get muddy and the toys will get strewn around in a giant muddled mess of plastic. But after all of the guests are gone, I get to clean up at my own pace. No one comes over after the party and turns up their nose at you because your Candy Land pieces are mixed in with the Legos (seriously kids? Did you have to take out Candy Land?). No, I can handle clean up after a party. I can even deal with the three days worth of dishes afterwards. But before hand, I do feel the need to clean and I'm not afraid to admit it. I don't mind if people know the truth- my house isn't always (usually) clean. But I'd rather if they not be confronted with that reality when they stop by for a barbecue.
Judgement. Who am I really afraid of anyway? I hate to admit, but I think I'm my own worst judge. You know when your kids are being so unbelievably cute that you just need to take out the video camera? Well, I've been known to actually run around the house for five minutes picking things up while hoping my kids maintain their cuteness just so I can start filming them in a more tidy scene. And even then, I find myself holding the camera at an angle to avoid more messy locations in the house: "No boys, be cute in the living room, not the kitchen!" And who will be watching these videos someday? The boys? I doubt they'll notice or care. No, me. I will be watching the videos and I don't really want proof that I didn't have time to clean. Just like I don't want proof noticed by friends and family that I don't clean enough either.
So there it is folks, I don't want to be unfairly judged... by you or by me. So if you come over at the start of the party, you might just see what I wish my house looked like all of the time- or maybe all you will see are the cobwebs and the dirt I couldn't reach in the corners.
No comments:
Post a Comment