Last night Joshua told me that he didn't love me. To be fair, I picked the fight. I knew he would say he didn't love me. So when I asked, "Do you love your Mama?" I was quite sure he would say "No." and when I asked "Who do you love?" I also knew what his answer would be... "Daddy".
Yet at 5:47 AM it was my name I heard on the baby monitor. Now if you don't love someone, why on Earth would you call for them at 5:47 AM?
Being woken up at 5:47 on a Saturday just isn't right, but there is a saving grace to the whole thing... cartoons. So I brought Joshua into our room to watch cartoons. Meanwhile, the object of his affections (Daddy) was asleep downstairs. The cartoons were on, Joshua was awake and I attempted to go back to bed. But then the remote fell behind the mattress so I had to get it. I fell back asleep within a few minutes but then woke again by Joshua's version of cuddling (taking his 10 pound head and squishing it into my cheekbone). He also stole my pillows and forced me over to the other side of the bed.
We moved to the living room. I thought, there's a couch there so there won't be room for Joshua to smoosh me. I turned on the cartoons. Now here's how I know I was still asleep... I also gave him some markers and a coloring book. They were washable but still, what was I thinking? The next thing I remember, something/someone was drawing on my arm. I woke up briefly to wrestle the marker out of Joshua's hand, stopping to notice the lovely pattern he had drawn on his rocket ship shirt. Ooops.
By about 7:30 Liam was also awake but I still wasn't planning on officially facing the day yet. I realize that 7:30 is a perfectly acceptable time for a parent to be woken up- actually it's sleeping in most days- but today I just wasn't ready yet. I did have to change a diaper though. After a morning of being asked for by name, "cuddled" with and after allowing coloring before 8 am you would think that Joshua would have found it in himself to profess his love for me... or that I would not be stupid enough to ask again. But I did (as I was changing his poopy diaper). And the answer was still "No."
I fell back asleep on the couch until about 8 AM when Joshua and Liam started to ask about their father. They found him downstairs. Then Liam came upstairs and told me he wanted to do a Mother's Day Project. Oh, how cute! He wanted to paint. And this is how I know I was still asleep... "Get a towel." was my only response. In my sleepy haze, I thought, "Well, he's wearing PJ's so it's okay if there's a stain and all of our paint is washable and as long as he cleans up." Ridiculous assumptions on my part. Then I added in a sleepy voice "Liam, go paint outside."
Liam walked by me and luckily I opened my eye just a tinge (even though he told me not to because it was a Mother's Day surprise.. even though it's a week after Mother's Day) to see him with a craft box- a tile painting kit. There was no way those paints were washable. That's when I officially decided it was time to face the day. Not after being drawn on or sat on or having my pillows usurped or after an overdose of Thomas the Train (seriously, Sir Topham Hat has gained some weight) or even after a superbly stinky diaper. No, it was the non washable paint. Every mother's dreaded fear. By the time I caught up and got outside, Liam had started to paint his foot. I told him that was a bad idea with this project (with non washable paint). Somehow I persuaded Joshua to use washable watercolors.
Look, it's really no big deal that Joshua says he doesn't love me. I know he does but he just shows it in different ways. Like calling my name when he needs something- no matter what time it is.
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