House of My Dreams

     For more than 7 years (are we now up to 8?), Bill and I have lived in our home here on this dead end, quiet street.  Not far away on one side is a busy urban street with a convenience store (that sells ice cream).  If we turn in the other direction and go equal distance, there are horse farms and fields. When we bought our house I didn't really think it matched my ideal home.  The rooms are square and I prefer oddly shaped rooms (I grew up in a solar home).  There aren't enough closets and the rooms are too small.  Our "master" bedroom is just big enough for two dressers and our bed.  When you pull out the iron you are literally out of room.  But we've been here for 7 years and we've made it our own.  Bill fixed up our deck, we worked on curb appeal and spent too much on furniture. 
     A couple of years ago I was describing my dream home to the students in my classroom.  it would be on a dead end street, a yard with a playground and it should have trees behind the house and maybe a creek.  I realized without noticing it at first that I was describing our home that we live in now.  While I've always assumed we would move on, I started to see a future right here where I am today.
     Where will we be in 5 years?  Or 10?  The other night I imagined myself driving down our short street looking at this home.  Would we be turning into the driveway or just driving by to see the old place?  If just driving by, what memories would come flooding back at me?  Maybe lying on the grass watching the boys play football or freaking out when Bill helped Liam sit on the tree branch (without holding on)...  Maybe I'd see those endless hours of pushing Joshua's cozy coupe back and forth, back and forth up and down the driveway.  What would the older me think of this life I'm living now?  I may judge myself for not playing outside more often or for being stressed out too often.  I may be envious that my boys are begging for me to play with them and are eager to give hugs. 
     Where will my car go after it drives by this old house?  Of course, it would be wonderful to think that I would be driving home to that house with big bedrooms, vaulted ceilings and plenty of closet space. But what if it's just the opposite?  What if these are the glory days and this is my house to lose?  For so many people in this economy, this is sadly true...
     Or maybe in 5 years I will be pulling right in to the same spot, just trying to squish bigger people into the same cozy house and car.  It's entirely possible and it really doesn't sound so bad at all.