It's day 145 of our open cup training with Liam and so far we have had spills of juice on about 130 of those days. This is a battle I don't think we will win anytime soon. And yet it all started innocently when Liam started asking for juice in an open cup. And then we started to realize that he really is a big boy and soon will be in school... drinking out of a sippy? No, that just wouldn't do. It was time for Liam to become more independent. It was time for him to drink out of an open cup. Besides, Joshua was using the sippy cups so much by that point that we never had enough left in the cupboards. This is the price of independence... spilled juice.
What's truly hilarious about all of this spilled juice is its lack of effect on Liam. "Oh. I spilled my juice." And then he returns to eating his banana bread as juice pours over the side of the table, onto first his brother's legs, then the chair, seeping down to the floor. And Liam continues to eat his banana bread. He's ready to be independent enough to ask for the sippy cup but not to actually follow through with what is required of (a) drinking out of a cup without spilling or (b) dealing with repercussions of a great spill. I would love one day without spilled juice about as much as I would welcome a day without changing a diaper. Okay, that's ridiculous, of course I'd prefer a day without diapers!
Independence. It's what convinces Joshua to clamp down his teeth on top of his toothbrush so that there's no way I could possibly help him fight off cavities. It's what I wait for at the bottom of the stairs... when we're already all late for work & school... while Liam tries to zip up his coat. It's what we all yearn for but then can't stand when the time finally comes. Because independence takes time & patience- and I do tend to lack in both of these areas.
Having an independent child means you have to give up on being embarrassed. Just leave embarrassment at the front door. It's not a worthy emotion anymore. Because there is a strong likelihood that you will have to leave the house most days with a child whose clothing doesn't match. I know what can happen if a young boy grows up with no fashion sense. I once saw my father wear a plaid shirt with a polka dotted tie. Knowing this could be hereditary, Bill & I do tend to advise Liam when we can about his clothes. So when he came upstairs the other day wearing blue sweatpants, a green & gray striped long sleeved shirt and a short sleeved linen brown & blue bowling shirt; naturally Bill laughed and told him to take off at least two parts of the outfit and wear something else. Independent Liam had a hard time being convinced but eventually Bill found a matching brown shirt to wear under the bowling shirt with a pair of jeans. "Change the shirt or change the pants." Is usually one of the first things we say to Liam when we see him in the morning. Recently instead of saying that, I just told him to stand still so I could take a picture. He was wearing a red & gray striped long sleeved shirt under a blue and orange striped short sleeved shirt. It wasn't working. Ironically, Liam's fashion sense seems to be in fashion at his school. After a particularly fun morning of cajoling Liam out of sweatpants (those same pesky sweats), an oversized t-shirt and a nice but tighter fitting sweater; Bill entered the classroom only to see another boy wearing sweats, an oversized t-shirt covered by a too-tight sweater. Who knew? Liam tells us the top shirt is what everyone wears. To encourage his independence I decided to buy him those 2-in-1 shirts that are on sale at Old Navy.
Independence is inevitable. And young people need time to develop their own skills through independent practice. So maybe the concept of matching isn't quite sticking yet. And perhaps it's okay that I have to change Joshua's shirt after he eats breakfast each day (because you can't go to the sitter's wearing oatmeal no matter what type of fashion sense you have). Still, I kind of wish Liam & Josh would become more independent in some of these areas because I'm getting really sick of waiting... and waiting... or just doing it myself.
(1) Buckling seatbelts in the car.
(2) Tying shoes.
(3) Writing thank you cards.
(4) Folding laundry (correctly).
(5) Soaping their own hair in the tub.
(6) Remembering to close the door.
(7) Spitting into the sink after brushing teeth (not the side of the sink).
(8) Getting their own breakfast when they wake up before 8 am on a weekend.
(9) Changing his own diaper (Bonus: applying diaper cream)- this one is for Josh specifically.
(10) Cleaning up spilled juice.
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