The "Other" Anniversary

     Soon my husband and I will be celebrating our 11th anniversary.  And I will be sadly remembering that it's now been a year since our potty training efforts with Joshua have been derailed.  Where did I/we go wrong? 
     Joshua is only 3 1/2 so the first thing you might consider is maybe, just maybe, I'm over-reacting and he just needs some time.  Well first of all, is it you changing these poopy diapers?  No, it is not.  And second of all, I just can't get over the fact that one year ago he really was almost potty trained.  Really.  I don't think I'm exaggerating here.  He was well on his way.  I posted about what a perfect mom I was back in July of last year... http://worstbestmom.blogspot.com/2011/07/worst-best-mom-revisited.html.  As you can (or will) clearly see upon reading this post, I was able to potty train a 2 1/2 year old with very little kinks along the way.  Number 1 and #2 were no match for me! 
That is, they were no match for me until we went away to celebrate our 10th Anniversary and when we came back?  Potty training was over, done, caput, forgotten, resisted, out of the question.
    
What did I do wrong?

• We broke the routine by having the audacity to celebrate the anniversary with an extended weekend over-priced vacation close to home.
• I might've yelled once or twice.
• I probably used guilt trips about not being a baby anymore and about me not wanting to change stinky diapers.
• I begged him to use the potty.

What did I do right?

• I felt guilty for making him feel guilty so I gave him space... loads of space... months of space.
• We alternated stickers and no stickers depending on his moods.
• We explained the cost of diapers and how we could be spending our money on other things... like the water bill!  And car payments!  And to offset the rising costs of gasoline!
• We described the environmental impact of continued use of disposable diapers!
• We did scientific experiments investigating the gel-like properties of diaper insides (one of our experiments might have involved me letting him wear a regular non-swimmy diaper into a pool and having him come out 10 pounds heavier 30 minutes later).
• We taught him how to stand up (what fun!) and pee outside (yippee!).
• We demonstrated (and I was asked many times about how I pee without having a penis).

     As you can plainly see, it is both completely my fault and not also not at all my fault that Joshua has regressed and refuses to be potty trained.  This is not to say he has not made any progress.  A friend told me I should potty train while in Disney World.  Let me tell you, there is no place I would rather be than in a Magic Kingdom Potty (that's me being sarcastic).  I tried to potty train before Disney and I was able to pull off #1 potty training with an agreement to hold off on #2 until we all had the mental strength to carry on.  Months past and still no progress with the #2.  I tried to do more to push it all along, to add fiber to our potty training quest if I must put out a metaphor (is that too symbolic?).  We tried a sticker chart which would earn the family Mini-Golf!  We tried having him make funny faces while on the potty.  We tried giving him a book to read while on the potty.  We tried choking and crossing our eyes whenever he pooped in his Pull-Up (okay, that last one was more of a gag reflex, not a specific parenting strategy).  I even tried this when I was feeling very patient one day: "Hey Joshua, do you need to go poopy?  Do you want to go in your Pull-Up or in the potty?"  And I smiled sweetly when he replied, "Pull-Up" and crawled under the table to complete his masterpiece.  And when I was feeling particularly impatient one day I tried this: "Liam? Do any of your friends use Pull-Ups or diapers?  No?  I didn't think so.  Big boys use the potty!" Oh, I almost forgot about the lazy morning when I didn't feel like doing anything at all so instead of putting him in a Pull-Up after he went #1 in the morning, I just pulled up his pajama pants and sent him back to watch cartoons with nothing on at all.  That didn't end well at all.
     Perhaps this would have been easier on all of us if we hadn't been so close in the first place.  I just can't help but feel that I've been here before a year ago today and that really isn't anything at all to celebrate in today's progress-driven society.  And yet if incentives don't work, intrinsic motivation has yet to kick in, guilt seems to be a lost cause and the battle lines of potty training have been drawn in cement... where do we go next?  Do I buy the next box of Pull-Ups and try not to tell myself that it will be our last box?  Do I put him in underwear that will just be thrown out the next time he crawls under the table?  Do I take him to a potty training guru (my sister-in-law) or should I just let the cards fall where they may? 
     Well, to begin with I suppose I should celebrate something that does deserve celebrating... our 11th anniversary.  For at least one night, I'll get out of changing diapers.  But I can't help thinking that on our 12th anniversary I better not have to leave any diaper cream and wipes with our babysitter!

Camping Without a Paddle

     Whenever we go anywhere, I always make a list first.  It ranges from the mundane like: Underwear & socks to the specific like: Old brown towel.  This year just before our big friends camping trip, I skipped the list.  Thankfully we were camping close to home.

     True, we had everything you actually would need for a camping trip.  We had our tent, our canopy, portable Weber grill, camp chairs, my laptop, picnic basket full of dishes and silverware, a stroller, the camping stove and even our hammock.  Liam, Josh and I left while Bill was still at work. We arrived on a Wednesday, dropped our stuff off and then went to the grocery store to meet up with Bill.  But before we left, I sent him a few texts with things I had already noticed that we had forgotten:

Tarps!                                                                                                                           
Sent July 18^th, 4:26 PM

Black garbage can and a water jug (on “bag” shelf [that’s the shelf we keep the used plastic grocery bags on] in kitchen)                                                                                    
Sent July 18^th, 4:32 PM

And a newspaper for making fire                                                                           
Sent July 18^th, 5:04 PM

       We found Bill waiting at the grocery store with his truck full of camping gear including a tarp, a garbage can, the water jug and (1) newspaper.  My friend had a typed list of groceries which she checked off as she went.  We, on the other hand, did what we normally do which is to wander aimlessly up and down each aisle until something caught our eye.  This time, I also occasionally looked into my friend’s cart and then backtracked to buy the same thing.  We left the store with most of what would have been on a shopping list, although we did forget sugar and toilet paper.

     Back at the sight, we ate our first official camping dinner: Subway.  Then Bill had to head back home so he could go to work the next day.  We were sad to see him go (mostly me because I’m afraid of rabid animals in the middle of the night and because I apparently do not have the “magic touch” when it comes to turning on a camping stove and also I have forgotten how to make a decent campfire). But Bill’s leaving turned out to be a blessing in disguise because we knew he would be back the next evening.

Boys are behaving.  List for tomorrow: more pillows, Josh’s chipmunk, toilet paper, Liam’s bike, video cam?, waffles, maple syrup (small), my toothbrush!  More d and aa batteries, letterboxing* book (in a clear bag on top of baby boxes to the left of the tv)                      
Sent July 18^th, 9:58 PM

And the new potato corer with the green handle.                                            
Sent July 19^th, 7:02 AM

And paddles! LOL                                                                                                      
Sent July 19^th, 9:10 AM

     I have a question to ask.  What is the good of a new canoe, life jackets and even a wet proof box if you don’t have any paddles to paddle your canoe!  See?  This is why it was such a good thing that Bill was coming back the next day and also why you should never feel stupid when you make a packing list which includes such obvious additions as "canoe & paddles". 

Hey we are fine. Went on a hike. Going swimming.  I didn’t get wood. Can you pick some up on your way in?                                                                                                               
Sent July 19^th, 2:39 PM

Tomatoes from garden!                                                                                           
Sent July 19^th, 4:47 PM

     So apparently woodsy rodents like tomatoes.  I never knew this until we returned to our campsite after going swimming, just before dinner.  When we got back Liam said, “Why is there a dog in our campsite?” and then by the time I looked the animal was gone.  It left half of an heirloom tomato though, which begs the question, ‘what dog eats a tomato?’  Or perhaps more likely, ‘what woodsy animal looks like a dog and is the same size as a dog who also appreciates a fine variety of tomatoes?’ **

     Bill came back Thursday night only to leave us again. This time we had wood but I wasn’t too sure of my fire making skills (despite years of camp experiences making log cabin or tee pee fires).  We went on another hike although we didn’t try canoeing on our own (even though we had the paddles).  Of course, it wasn’t long before I thought of some more items for Bill to add to his list…

Small bag for josh, tomatoes, tiki torches? And the butter in the blue Tupperware on the top shelf of fridge.  And all of your stuff!  Probably more beer for you.                        
Sent July 20^th, 8:01 AM

     This was my last text before Bill came to camp for good.  I was happy that he also remembered to bring a new latch for our cooler, more ice, another cucumber from the garden, Rum Swizzle for me (yum) and some extra diapers for Joshua.  Camping is terrific, especially when you know there’s someone at home you can depend on.  Someone who knows which toothbrush is yours and what type of drinks you might enjoy while camping.  I think camping close to home might be the right idea afterall… especially considering that we might not be able to fit everything from our site into our two cars on the way home so taking third trip home & back with one of the cars isn’t entirely out of the question.

*Letterboxing- for more info check out www.letterboxing.org
**Liam's full report about the tomato-eating-"dog" was that the "dog" had a tail and was yellow.  Since I've never heard of a dog who eats tomatoes, I am assuming it's another animal.  We went to the campsite's nature center on the way home (yes, we did actually fit everything into two cars... well, a car and a truck). At the nature center there were hides of a variety of animals so by process of elimination, I'm thinking our tomato-eating-"dog" was probably a fox!

The Invisible Stitch

     Joshua's has anew stuffed animal.  It is a giraffe and it's a dog toy.  We had to get Joshua this giraffe because he is extremely head strong... and he has a very big head.  See, when we were picking up his Daddy's Father's Day gift at a local plaza, we passed the window of a pricey toy store (the kind of toy store that doesn't print coupons).  Well in that window was a very big stuffed giraffe made by the Melissa and Doug company.  I can afford their puzzles, and probably even a puppet, but I think the $150 price tag (just an estimate) is a bit too much to spend just now.  Except that Joshua fell in love with the giraffe and insisted that he was going to get a big stuffed giraffe.  Finally I talked him down off of the ledge and convinced him that he should look for a small stuffed giraffe... and that we could probably find one next time we went to Target.  Weeks passed and Joshua wouldn't give up on getting his new small stuffed giraffe.  "When will we get my new stuffed giraffe?" He kept asking.  "Will we get my new giraffe at Target tomorrow?"
     We found ourselves at the store after being asked each day for nearly a month.  Almost immediately I found a stuffed giraffe... in the pet section.  Each foot made its own silly noise.  I made the mistake of pointing it out to Joshua before taking him to look for more giraffes.  His face lit up, he grabbed it out of my hand and hugged it to him, refusing to let go.  This is when I weakly suggested that we look for other giraffes in Target... but Joshua wouldn't have it.  He claimed it as his own.  Within 5 minutes, he even took off the tag to claim it as his own (before Mommy and Daddy paid for it).
     We took the giraffe home- well, first he went to Home Depot, then he swung on the swing in the backyard and finally he was taken into the house.  The giraffe fit right into the family, under Joshua's arm.  It helped us to hear where Joshua was too, because of all the squeaking and the rattling.  It didn't take long though to learn the irony of buying a stuffed giraffe from the pet section of the store.  This stuffed giraffe was very poorly constructed. Its back and one of its hooves were already coming uns-titched.  Who would think that a dog toy wouldn't be able to keep up with a three year old boy for a day?
     I know how to sew by hand...kind of.  Unfortunately I was pretty sure if I tried to sew up Joshua's new BFF by hand, it would look more like a Frankenstein-Giraffe.  I didn't think he'd appreciate that.  So I asked Joshua's crafty child care provider for some advice.  Now this is a lady who sews just about everything. Once I gave her fabric and she sewed me a purse (which I gave to my mom).  She is currently sewing a quilted lap top cover.  When I asked her advice about the giraffe, she offered to fix it for me right on the spot.  But I had a teeny bit of pride and said I wanted to try to fix it myself (something I'd never have time to do if this unfortunate event had happened in, say, February).  But it was summer, and I really wanted to prove I could do it.  She suggested an invisible stitch.  I had never heard of an invisible stitch.  She offered again to get it fixed right there on the spot (A pun! Get it?).  I said I wanted to try it, but how do you do an invisible stitch?  She said she learned when she was 10 (which made me feel awesome) and she described it to me.  I nodded attentively but I wasn't sure there was much hope.
     I have learned how to sew many times. My mom taught me, my friend taught me and I took home economics at least once.  As I mentioned, the only thing I retained was how to hand stitch... and my hand stitch looks more like Frankenstein's stitched forehead.  I turned to You Tube so I could visualize a stitch that was invisible.  I found a few helpful videos (see one below, about sewing a stuffed animal):

Sewing Soft Toys Closed Using a Ladder Stitch

      Now I was ready to fix Joshua's stuffed giraffe... except he wouldn't part with it at nap time or bed time so I had to wait until he was awake.
     It's awfully hard to sew a giraffe while it's owner is trying to grab it out of your hands to give it a hug.  But I managed... I even learned from the videos that tying knots in the end of your string is not a good method and that the knots often come out of the fabric.  So I tried cross-stitching instead.  In the end, I even reinforced some of the stitching that looked like it might come loose in the near future (because Joshua carries it around by its neck).  Now you can't even tell the little guy had any work done.
     Okay, so it was a cheapo giraffe doggy toy, but Joshua loves it and I'm awfully proud of myself for learning about the invisible stitch... again.  Only this time, maybe I'll remember how to do it for a good long time.

  

It's Just Goodnight, and Not Goodbye

     I didn't cry when Liam started Kindergarten, but I truly did think I would cry when we dropped him off at summer camp (I didn't cry; apparently I only cry during cheesy movies like The Time Traveler's Wife). Liam got to go to the same summer camp that I used to go to, and that Bill went to so many years ago.  This camp was a special place long before I knew who archery instructor with glasses was B-)  Long before we were counselors, we were campers on opposite sides of the flag pole trying to shout camp songs to see if the Boys or the Girls were louder.  I don't exactly know if Bill felt the same way, but the smell of camp, walking from my cabin past the playground and to the rec field, I specifically remember thinking that I was only truly happy here at camp. That's because at camp, we left everything behind and started fresh.  Bill described it to me best: "On Sunday everyone felt a little lonely, a little nervous but by Wednesday's talent show you were having the time of your life... and by the time Thursday night came, you couldn't imagine going back to the real world. On Friday night, when the parents came you wanted nothing more than to just stay a bit longer with your new friends; your new family."
     I don't have many pictures of myself at Camp but I know how happy I was there.  I don't remember everyone I bunked with, ate with, danced with, ran with, swam/sung/swung with or made fly off of the teeter-totter.  But I do remember that there were many many friends that made the place so special.  I remember the campfires, the full sky of stars above, the song of taps calling us all to our bunks.  I remember feeling completely safe, protected and happy at camp... utterly at peace.  

   















     But I digress.  When we pulled into camp 17 years later with our son, eyes wide with anticipation in the backseat, Bill and I shared a special moment of happiness and pride.  We were coming back to our roots.  For a moment Bill was that archery instructor again (even as he complained that they had replaced Advanced Archery with a Bee Bee Gun course) and I was that perky teenager teaching little kids how to cook banana boats in aluminum foil on a small campfire (recipe: throw a peeled banana with marshmallows and chocolate chips into a square of aluminum foil; wrap it up and cook it up).  We dropped Liam off in his cabin and, even though it was a boy's cabin, I looked up at the exposed rafters and the ultra-twin mattresses and it brought me back, way back. 
     We walked to the flagpole and I remembered standing across the way from Bill, when we were a bit older.  I remembered shouting even louder because now I had someone to compete with on the other side.  I remembered sitting at the picnic tables surrounding the flag pole (even though they have all been moved to the new dining hall), drinking our cartons of milk and laughing with our new friends.  The playground was the same- I'm surprised the teeter totters are still there, and at the same time reaffirmed that at least someplace in this world it's still okay to shoot someone up 3 feet in the air and have them come crashing down to Earth on the woodchips.  The impossibly tall swing sets that I remember trying to flip over.  The rec hall was still there, made of that corrugated plastic roofing material that is sooo loud in a rainstorm.  All in all, camp remained the same.
     Was Liam's camp experience for me/us or for him?  Well, we picked him up only a couple of days later (camp is shorter for the younger guys) and he was brimming with excitement.  He told us about all of the swimming, and the swinging and the singing as if we didn't already know.  Just before we left, we took a bathroom break.  This might not sound significant, but hear me out.  When we got to the bathrooms, Bill and each took a right, into the "old" bathrooms. You know, the types of bathrooms with concrete floors and plywood doors.  And Liam took a left into the "new" bathrooms.  So while Bill and I remembered the lines for the showers and spitting our toothpaste into those same old sinks, Liam opted for the new.  Okay, I admit my example is a little sketchy, maybe a stretch for you to buy into... but to me it's symbolic.  Sending Liam to camp might have been more for Bill and I than it was for Liam, I do admit that.  Hey, maybe it was even an excuse for Bill and I to drive through those red gates 17 years later.  But ultimately, it was an act of love sending Liam there to this place that really hasn't changed so much after all of those years.  A place where he will grow to be independent and a place where each summer- for a week- he will be truly happy.

17+ Years Later

Liam and his cousin at campfire.

Appearing to be Cute and Patient

     Sometimes things just aren't what they seem. Here's an adorable picture of Joshua with a bucket on his head.  So cute, right?

    
     I agree, this is ridiculously cute.  Who wouldn't take a picture of her little guy with a bucket on his head... and then post it on facebook?  What the picture doesn't show is why Joshua was wearing a bucket on his head.  It took me several minutes to piece the whole thing together, and realize that it was no coincedence.  See, while Joshua was toddling around with his bucket helmet, Liam was investigating a matter of science.  Specifically, he was investigating the concept of centrifical force.  He had taken the chain from one of our swings and was swinging it around in the air.  Suddenly the bucket didn't seem cute to me, it seemed completely necessary; probably insufficient even.
     Of course any fly on the wall can tell you things are just not always as they seem.  For example, someone seeing me and Liam in the grocery store produce section might remark about how well behaved he is.  He pushes the cart carefully, he weighs the fruits and vegetables, he chooses organic carrots... but by the time we have reached frozen goods another person in the store might think I have raised a monster.  By this time, I have taken the cart from him because he has run into canned goods or someone's sandles (hopefully mine).  By the frozen goods section, he is likely sitting on the floor, or trying to play tic-tac-toe on the frosty doors.  Someone might think I'm an awfully bad parent with no real control over my kid if they only observed me in the frozen food section. But let's look at the big picture... Liam is no monster but he's clearly not an angelic-mommy's-little-helper either.  It doesn't help that he has an attention span of about 10 minutes and a grocery store trip for us lasts about 60 minutes... at any rate, things are just not always as they seem.

     This would appear to be a beautiful Father's Day moment captured with our family.  But behind the scenes, there may be more to it than might appear.  See, we had just picked out Bill's mom to take the family out mini-golfing for Father's Day. But "on the way" we decided to stop to buy Liam a new pair of summer sneakers.  What should have been a 15 minute stop turned into a one hour diversion.  Was that because there were so many selections for Liam to choose from? No, in that one hour, he only tried on 4 pairs of shoes (not counting Crocs... do they really count for shoes anyway?).  At any rate, it was ridiculous.  He kept saying he loved the shoes, then he would hate the shoes, then they would be too loose, and then too tight and ... well we had all just about had it by the time we left (with the shoes he's seen wearing here).  I explained to Liam that we had all lost our patience somewhere in the shoe department and if he wanted to continue with the plan to go mini-golfing he and Joshua would really need to cooperate.  So we got to mini-golf a bit late, they didn't take the coupon (because it was a holiday) and we all had ice cream for dinner. Liam kept running ahead and Joshy kept running across the greens. Oh!  And as you can tell, our camera was not cooperating and now we have a bunch of blurry photos. We were doing our best to have fun but we all breathed a sigh of relief when we stepped off of Hole 19.  And then we realized it was way past bedtime already and we still needed to get back home.  So Father's Day ended with a mad dash once we pulled into our driveway.

     So what does this picture show?  A happy family mini-golfing on Father's Day.  The backstory... well it isn't so glamorous or memorable at all now is it?  Kind of like the bucket helmet picture.  He seems happy.  Does Joshua ever really have to know his life was in peril?  Did anyone ever have to know that our Father's Day 2012 was anything less than perfect?  Hmmm... moral of the story: Things aren't always what they seem... but sometimes it's best to keep up appearances.

Dolls and Guys

     Liam was never really one for dolls.  He didn't mind using them as pillows but really they had no other use for him... well, he also liked whipping them around.  Joshua on the other hand needs to line up his "babies" in his bed.  Some are invited on a given night, but not the next night.  Others are never allowed into the bed in the first place, but rather need to stay in his toy box.  My grandfather brought Joshua a Webkinz.  Joshy has no idea it's a has-been trend with an on-line code.  He just loves his fuzzy alligator. He doesn't even seem phased by the fact that his alligator is really a crocodile.  The alligator and Joshua are now inseparable.  It's all I can do to keep the alligator inside.  He's taken it outside but then it ends up in the washing machine... and Joshua can't stand a night without his new BFF.  The alligator even travels with him in his backpack for rest-time at the sitter's each day.  Of course, you never know who Josh will be carrying around in his other arm- his mini-chipmunk (Liam has a matching), his Mickey Mouse, his kangaroo mom & baby, a rhino, a State Farm teddy bear, a carnival elephant... or maybe the whole gang hugged inside his two little arms. 
     Joshua's dolls make all sorts of great conversation too.  They have opinions and insights. Some of them try to rule the world and others say in deep voices that they are superheros.  Joshua has zoo animals that he lines up according to Mom & Baby. These animal families also have conversations- usually something like "Where is my mommy?"  (high voice) "Come here Baby Zebra, I am your mommy!"  He lines them up, marches them around the living room and then lines them back up again.
     And there they would stay, lined up, were it not for my other son, Liam.  When Liam was 3 years old, I often wondered why he didn't play act.  I didn't understand it from a teacher's perspective because I kind of assumed that all children played pretend.  I suppose Liam does play pretend but he certainly has a different style.  See, the reason why Joshua's animals can never stay lined up, is because Liam's idea of play acting always involves a disastrous event of dynamic proportions.  It always involves explosions and crashes and\earthquakes. The result is a sort of spiraling pattern of disaster with a certain epicenter and ripples of overturned, smashed into toys spreading out across the living room floor.
     Now if Joshua was anyone other than Joshua, he would probably get very annoyed with his brother.  Actually (now I'm being uber-articulate) if he were the older brother and Liam was the destructive younger brother, I'd bet he would get awfully miffed.  But no, Joshua is so immune to his brother's idea of play-acting that he will just go along with it. Suddenly zoo animal babies are looking for their mommies with new fervor and the Webkinz alligator is coming to save the day. 
     Of course, Joshua doesn't just have dolls.  He also has plenty of guys.  Again, Liam was never into "guys".  He got into Transformers but that was mostly because he got a kick out watching Bill and I turn the guy into an airplane and then turn the airplane into a guy and then turn the guy into an airplane and then turn the airplane into a guy and then turn the guy into an airplane and then turn the airplane into a guy and, well, you get the idea.  After that initial kick, he would just forget about the Transformer or just use it to smash things.  At any rate, Liam wasn't too into guys.  But Josh?  Is he ever.  And he isn't really picky at all.  A giraffe can have a conversation with Sully (from Monsters Inc) and then the Joker can come along in his Jokermobile and steal Yoda.  But then motorcycle guy will come over with his friend Lightning McQueen and they will save the day with a little help from a crazy Koosh ball.
     And so the two boys play. "I am the most powerfulest of all! I am Hot Lava Man!" and "I am Destructigon! I can smash into everything!"  Here's an actual transcript of the boys playing tonight with an alligator and a guy on a motorcycle:
"Hey!  There's a new person on the team just like me!" Liam the motorcycle man
"I look like a alligator." Joshy the alligator
"How much stones do you have?" Motorcycle man
High pitched voice- Liam speaking as alligator now "I have like 99 of them."
Liam now back as Motorcycle Man "Well, I have much more than that."
"Hey, you guys can be the leaders" Motorcycle Man
"Whoa." Unknown McDonalds figure guy, spoken for by Joshua
"And you and me have thousands!" Joshy as Sully and Unknown McDonalds figure guy #2
"You know infinity is more than a thousand?" Liam as Liam
"We have thousands of stones." Joshy as Sully and Guy #2
"You guys be the guards.  We already have a leader.  I'm the leader." Liam as Motorcycle Man, Guys #1 and #2 and then ... well I can't keep track anymore.
"I have two weapons" Liam forgets about the guys and picks up two squishy light up balls with stretchy handles and starts flipping them around the room, both at once.
"And I have no weapons." Joshy in a deep voice.
And then there is a very in-depth discussion about who is the master and who is the master of the leaders or something like that.  And then who can lift things into the air (at which time Joshua lifts up the camera and we lose visual).
     So here's the thing, there's a definite compromise going on here.  Left to his own devices, Joshua would never do anything except lining everyone up, marching them around and then lining them back again.  And left to his own devices, Liam would never do anything except knock all of his toys around the room.  What would be the fun in any of that?  Being Master of the Universe isn't really fun at all, unless you can get into a contest of strength with the Most Powerful Superhero of All.

Star Wars: Spoiler Alert

     Tonight I made a huge spoiler error... I accidentally might have mentioned to Liam and Joshua that Anakin's wife, who is Luke and Leia's mother, died just after Anakin moved to the dark side to become Sith Warrior, Darth Vader.  Oops.  Silence filled the dinner table.
     Sure, they have the t-shirts and the toys and even the light sabres... and we even rode the Star Tours ride at Hollywood Studios but that still doesn't mean they know Star Wars. Even those early reader Star Wars books that Liam insists on borrowing from the library don't really help someone get Star Wars. Liam and Josh play around all the time talking about the Force and their space ships, but they've got very little to go on.  We've only watched the first two of the prequel trilogies and we haven't seen any of the original IV-VI together.  I think we might skip that sad third story altogether. 
     Still, that doesn't stop Liam and now even Joshua to be obsessed with Star Wars.  I might have fueled it a little bit in the interest of coordinating Halloween costumes (Darth Vader and Yoda).  But it didn't end with Halloween.  They even had a Star Wars birthday party theme this year.  Themes... they can get a little consuming, can't they?  And for what?  After all of my research and planning, I was told that my Darth Vader cake looked more like a wookie than the Sith Lord Vader.

     Although you might not be able to tell from my Wookie/Darth Vader cake attempt, I did actually do extensive research for this Star Wars party.  While the kids battled it out with pretend light sabres (we broke too many real ones in combat), I continued my research.  This was at about the same time that I got into Pinterest.  At any rate, fueled by Pinterest, I decided that I wouldn't stop with Star Wars cakes (there was a Yoda one too).  We needed Star Wars food too.  Here are some of my personal favorites:

Light Sabres made by dipping pretzels into melted colored
chocolates.  I later found out an easier way (wrapping the
pretzels with red or green fruit roll ups). 



We got most of these from a Star Wars spoof on You Tube starring
several characters including Cuke Skywalker.  Actually, I made some
of these up but I don't remember which ones.  We also had Carrot 3PO,
Chewbroccoli and the peppers were renamed Darth Mal's light sabres. 
We had Millenium Falcon dip too but that had no resemblance
(maybe the white color?) to the actual space ship. 



I saved this one for last because it's the best.  There was the
Storm Trooper Cheese Platter,but anyone could do that.  However,
who would think to try to pull off an R2 Brie2 (other than me,
because apparently I needed a diversion from everyday life)?

    So the party when off without a hitch, the kids enjoyed a Jar Jar Juice box while parents drank a Yoda Soda.  There were also Darth Cheddars (Cheese Its) and Princess Lays (potato chips) as well as Wookie Cookies (I never really thought how much a Girl Scout Samoa cookie looked like a wookie). 
     But I digress... and so I will get to the hitch.  Here's a room full of die hard Star Wars fans.  Kids ages 2-8 all who claim to know and love Star Wars.  But yet when you give the kid a Wookie Cookie, he looks at you and says, "What's a Wookie?"  And the Millenium Falcon Dip?  Oh, that went way over their heads.  Everyone loved the Storm Trooper Cheese Platter... because cheese and crackers are quite the popular party food, but the Storm Trooper part might have been a little bit lost on them (Liam actually refers to stormtroopers as "Crone Wars").  Pretty much the only one the kids "got" was the Obi Grape Kenobis, although they might have just giggled at that one because it sounds so funny.
     So here's my point.  All of this focus on Star Wars and Liam really hadn't gotten much further than Podraces and Jar Jar Binks.  What's worse, he doesn't even think that Jar Jar Binks is annoying!  For all his talk about Death Stars and Darth Vader, he really doesn't know how the two are related, not to mention what an Ewok is.
     Now, I am not a die hard Star Wars fan myself.  I was too scared at a sleepover party once when Luke got his hand cut off by his dear dad so I didn't ever watch them all the way through until high school when Bill rented the whole series for me.  I'm not a die hard, but what I am is obsessive compulsive (which is why my R2 Brie 2 looks so totally awesome).  However, I will tell you that even I might have gone too far.  See, Star Wars for 6 year olds is a little bit different than Star Wars for older kids- and by the time Liam would be old enough to appreciate Carrot 3PO and Chewbroccolis, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want either at his party.  I'm pretty sure by that point, it will just be a case of soda, a few pizzas and "leave us alone". 
     I suppose some day we will buy the whole Star Wars DVD set.  And when we do, at least for the next few years, I will probably fast forward the part where Anakin kills the Sand people village, attacks the Jedi children and also when Padme dies.  Then Liam will finally meet Luke Skywalker and, if I don't spoil it for him, maybe he'll realize on his own that Leia is his twin sister and that Hans Solo really isn't such a bad guy after all.

Until then, may the force be with you.