I can only imagine how many times Liam's teachers will tell me, "He's not a good listener" or how many times he'll get a "U" for unsatisfactory on his report card for listening. Yet judging him as a bad listener would simply be incorrect, a misunderstanding if you will. See, what I've realized over the last 5 1/2 years is that many kids are perfectly good listeners. They do, in fact, hear the words that are coming out of our mouths. I have proof. The other day Liam was playing with a friend. His friend was asking him a question and apparently had asked the same question more than once because Liam's response was: "I heard you the first time." He said it with exactly the same tone and emphasis as we say it to him when he badgers us over and over again "Can I have a cookie? Why can't I have a cookie? Will I ever be able to have a cookie? When can I have a cookie? Can I have a cookie?" So Liam, a 5 year old, was apparently annoyed using "I heard you the first time" to fend off another round of questioning. On a side note, it was actually annoying hearing, "I heard you the first time" and I think confusing for the other kid so maybe this might not be the best choice of words for Mommy and Daddy in the future when we're being bombarded with a line of questions at increasing volume. It's not just Liam, apparently Joshua is also listening too because today in a public restroom he told me, "I mad at you, I want you leave room." Ooops, I might have said that earlier this week when I needed a little space. Kind of a worst mom moment there... requoted to remind me.
So- bad listeners? No, not really. They don't really heed what they hear, however. Rather, they seem to have judged us so well that they know they have several minutes after a first warning to get the job done. So when we say "Time for PJ's" really they take it upon themselves to do 6 more laps down the hallway.
Listening can be convenient, especially when it comes to education. I'm pretty sure Liam's teachers will all think he's not listening, that is until he takes the test at the end of the unit and quotes her word-for-word in his extended response (that's a fancy teacher word for "essay"). At some point this summer I gave Liam a rudimentary explanation of sound waves. Very basic, mind you. I got an A- in the college course, Science of Sound but it doesn't matter, I don't recall a thing (except that sound travels in waves and something to do with... oh nevermind, I forgot it). Imagine Bill's surprise in the car the other day when Liam asked about how radios worked and Liam actually grasped the explanation about how sound waves worked. It probably would have been sweet of me not to mention to Bill that Liam was actually recalling parts of our conversation... but instead I told Bill I had beat him to the punch and already explained sound waves to him. Still, Liam really did remember and understand the concept. He was listening and understanding so well that he generalized the concept and asked Bill, "Does stink have waves?"
So what will I say if the teachers tell me that Liam isn't a good listener. Hmmm... I will probably tell them that before they tell me again that he's a bad listener, they should ask him to repeat what they've said because I'm pretty sure he'll be able to tell them. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure Liam will be saying things like: "I heard you the first time", "That was a bad choice" and "Mosquitoes bite me because I'm delicious" so I'm sure the teacher will hear for herself just how good a listener Liam really is... I'll have to be a little bit more careful about what I say...
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