I Married Into A Bacon Family

     Long before bacon was trendy, my in-laws were coating their turkey with it and nibbling on the burnt edges along with the rest of their Thanksgiving feast.  No everyone loves bacon.  You can get bacon flavored chocolate, bacon flavored peanuts, bacon dips and bacon infused vodka (it's called Bakon and we are currently working on our second bottle, but there are only so many Bloody Maries and screwdrivers you can make in a given year).
     As an official member of the family now, we've taken the family vegetable to a whole new level of understanding.  First off, my husband has researched and, thanks to the Barbeque Pit Boys (check them out on you tube, you won't be sorry), he is fluent in the art of making a bacon blanket to coat any slab of meat.  Of course, we can't use the bacon blanket when we deep fry our turkey, but on other years when the turkey is smoked on the woodfire grill... it's smoked with yummy bacon juices seeping onto the skin.
     But that's just the turkey.  Last year I made the most succulent, delicious stuffing I had ever tasted.  All thanks to bacon grease.  Copious amounts of bacon grease... and butter and onions and garlic.  Along with all good bacon comes onion, garlic and butter.  The heavenly foursome heralded by bacon also goes into the "mashpo", along with sour cream, milk and cheeses.  Isn't it obvious what should go into the gravy?  Especially since we don't cook the bird in the oven, the juices really do need to come from (you guessed it) ... the bacon pan.  And true, the appetizers we share are usually store bought from a freezer, but more often than not they include bacon. Actually, to be fair, I think tomorrow Bill is planning on rib appetizers. But since that's pork, I guess it counts too!  Surely a family that eats this much bacon... must not live until Christmas.  Is that what you are thinking?  Perhaps, but we've happily managed to defy odds thus far so we've got the fridge stocked up with all four pounds of bacon for tomorrow's feast once again.
     But why stop at using bacon on turkey, stuffing, mashpo & apps?  I mean, couldn't we also put bacon into the cranberry sauce?  You know, mix it in with that gelatin stuff?  Why not celebrate Thanksgiving with a green bean casserole sprinkled with bacon bits?  Or put those bacon bits where they really belong... in the dough for the rolls!  I think I might be getting somewhere so while I'm at it, I will suggest bacon in the apple crisp and also to add a little kick to the creamed onions.  I think I'll hold off on the bacon in the sweet potatoes- for some reason that is where I draw the line.
    Seriously, to be a member of this family you really must accept bacon as the love of your life.  Our children respond to "I'll give you piece of bacon" just as they would to "I'll give you a bowl of candy".  They fight over the last crispy piece and, unfortunately, they like "dessert bacon" just as much as the rest of us.  On a side note, yes, we've named a special type of bacon.  It's that bacon that has been coated with yummy brown sugary mapley goodness that all cooks on top of a lucky meat product and then when it's done it's a savory, juicy, crunchy goodness that can best be described as "dessert bacon" although you tend to eat it before any meal has been served, because you are sneaking it off of the bird in the kitchen when no one is looking (maybe that's why Bill likes to carve the turkey...).  Where was I?  Oh, right, I was about to tell a sad story.  So you know how when some people are pregnant they get cute cravings and their husbands have to go out and get it for them in the middle of the night?  Well, Bill and I were totally on board with all of this and ready to go. I was ready to crave, and he was ready to go shopping in the middle of the night.  Well, the cravings never came... but for my first pregnancy I got two aversions. One to Red Bull (long story) and the other to... you guessed it... Bacon.  The sizzling, the smell, it just all grossed me out.  It took me years to recover.  I still cannot embrace actual plain bacon like I used to.  But as Liam gets older, I become more familiar with my old friend (actually not really that old, because I didn't really even eat bacon until I met Bill.  I didn't exactly grow up in a "bacon family".  Oddly, my Jewish mother served me pork chops but never ham or bacon.  I couldn't explain this if I tried).  At any rate, I became more and more comfortable with bacon- on burgers, in quiche and as a stirrer for my coffee (just kidding, but it kind of sounds awesome, doesn't it?).  Until last year when I made my bacon-masterpiece.  The stuffing.

Instilling a love of pork products at an early age.

 

     Truth be told, I am not sure I could replicate last year's stuffing.  I have no idea what brand stuffing it was- I don't think I could research what brand was on sale at our grocery store last November the week before Thanksgiving.  I don't know how much onions, garlic and butter I put in- except that it must have been copious amounts because I remember saucepans full.  If I remember correctly- and tomorrow will be the true test to this- I did not just stop at cutting up bacon and putting it in.  I poured the greasy fat in too.  In some families this would cause gagging.  In some families, there would be blushing and "no thank you's".  In some families bacon might only be covering the bird, nothing more.  But in this family, it's just not enough to crunch up some bacon and put it in the stuffing (and the mashpo, and the cranberry sauce- I think I may try that one tomorrow).  In this family, crunched up bacon isn't enough on its own, you need the grease too.  Because that makes one hell of a stuffing.

You may have thought I was kidding when I referred to "the bacon blanket".
I assure you, I was not kidding.