Joshy and His Friends

Inventory of Joshua's stuffed animals:  Hmmm... where do I start?  Might as well just jump right in... mind you, these are all capitalized because they are all their actual names.  Joshua is not too creative in the names department.  I'm pretty sure when he has kids, they will be Joshua, Jr. and Joshamina.

• 2 Little Doggies "that are brothers"
• Peter Rabbit
• Softest White Bear
• Yellow Bear
• Pooh Bear
• Brown Bear
• Big Lion
• Pink Lion
• Little Lion
• Mickey
• Ferret
• Soft Piggie
• Piggie
• Hamster
• Hamster That Was Mommies
• Crazy Monkey
• Pink Monkey
• Red Monkey
• Mommy Monkey & Baby Monkey
• Mommy Kangaroo & Baby Kangaroo/Joey
• Mommy's Elephant
• The Elephant Liam Made For Me When I Was A Baby
• Froggies (there are 3, the only distinguishing one is "Big Froggie")
• Liam's Chipmunk
• My Chipmunk
• Liam's Squirrel ("But where is my squirrel, and when will you fix Liam's squirrel and sew his butt?")
• Good Luck Bear (that used to be mommies)
• Cheer Bear
• Singing Blue Bear (who is stuffed into the bottom of the toy box because he is sooo annoying)
• White Doggie
• Zebra
• Lion (a different one)
• Black Cat
• Snakey
• Giraffe
• Rhinocerous
• Soft Leopard
• The Monkey Blanket Auntie Lor Got Me When I Was A Baby
• The Lion With a Blanket
• and last, but not least, the animal that started it all.... Alligator

     This is an accounting of most of Joshua's "friends" but not all of them.  I'm pretty sure I've left out at least 15.  Here's the problem.  I am expected to have a full accounting of all of Joshua's animals at any given time.  It doesn't matter who had them last (Joshua) and where they had them (behind the couch, thrown down the stairs, under the Lego table in Liam's room, next to the potty, etc...).  Regardless, it is fully expected that I will know where any one of them is according to Joshua's whim.  Of course, it's fully expected at this point by me that Joshua will come up with the most obscure of all his animals, the friend who is least likely to be found at that particular moment or who happens to be in the car when it is raining outside (bummer, detached garage).  And so I have found myself crawling under tables, feeling around under beds and digging through bins and bags to find just the right one to help Joshua fall asleep that night.
     It gets a bit worse.  Joshua has started this full accounting of his toys now too.  So my responsibilities have tripled.  I am now expected to keep track of his magic wand (which cost 25 cents), his noise maker, the Sponge Bob toy he got from McDonalds, his red car, his green car, his blue car... you get the idea).  In this house that is overflowing with toys, I really cannot keep up.  Especially not since we started bribing Joshua to become potty trained.  Now he is "earning" countless penny treasures for doing what nature calls on us to do quite naturally.  He has amassed such a fortune that there is no possible way I can know at all times where his parachute man, old silly putty, new silly putty, slide whistle, big whistle and monster finger puppet could possibly be.
     This is like the book Knuffle Bunny (by Mo Willems) times 100.  It's like Corderoy Bear but instead of the bear coming to look for us, we have to go searching for them!  There was one time when it was my fault of course.  We had gone to the city to go to the zoo. We were hours away from home and stopped for dinner.  I know I had Alligator at the dinner table.  I know we had Alligator in the bathroom.  I thought I remembered Alligator resting on top of my purse.  I didn't remember having Alligator after that.  We got back on the big road to head home and... where was Alligator?  Bill looked at me.  I looked at Bill. "We have to go back," Bill said in a deadpan, serious tone.  He got off the exit and headed back.  It was 9:00 pm by this point, did I mention we were hours away from home?  We got back to the restaurant.  No Alligator.  I went to the bathrooms.  No Alligator.  I headed back to the car, forlorn and wincing because I knew what would come next.  Nothing, Joshua had fallen asleep. But the seriousness wasn't lost on either Bill, me or even Liam who was still awake in the backseat.  We needed to find that Alligator.  Bravely Bill took to the streets, canvasing our path to find our furry Webkinz friend.  Yes, we know, ... he's actually a Crocodile (once we found that out, it was already too late so the name "Alligator" just stuck).  There he was; in the gutter where our car had been parked.  When Josh woke up close to home, he had no idea the tragedy that almost had occurred.  To not have Alligator would've been unthinkable, I think.
     So sometimes I will need to crawl under tables, feel under beds and search the gutter.  And I know I will constantly have to remind Joshua, "I can't keep track of all of your animals!"  but in the end I hope he knows I will find them, brush them off (wash them several times) and give them back to him... especially if it's my fault he lost them in the first place.